So scared, I begin to shake

[djade]

I was bullied, harassed, abused, and constantly put down by a parent all my life. Throughout time, people would give me compliments but I just couldn't, can't believe them. I get so depressed and so scared that my body actually begins to shake. I try to cope by walking. It has helped immensily.

[BonnieSue]

Yes, I know what you mean! As you have seen, any physical output helps relieve tension and depression. I'm sorry to hear you had to endure such abuse and that it still affects you today. Are you in counseling? You need it badly. You can't help but remember the abusive words and deeds but you can adjust your viewpoint with time and good counseling. You have tremendous value and are worthwhile! Until you think this within your own thoughts, you need to continue with counseling. Ask around for a good recommendation.

Someone on this site has recommended this: Go on the psychology today site and look for a therapist.

And this: TRE (Trauma releasing exercises) is something you can learn in a class but you don't have to talk about your problems and once you have learned the technique you can use it at home.

One of these ideas may help you. God doesn't make junk and you are here for a reason. You have much to give to others.

[djade in reply to BonnieSue]

Thank you so much for your kind words and advice! I had never heard of TRE, really appreciate the tips!

[Lynl]

I was too as a child, I have big blue eyes and ringlet hair, which today is complimented, but the hair growing up was not the sleek Farrah Faucet feathered hair that others had so I was teased too, but now you have to look in a mirror and tell yourself you are worth every compliment and more. Hold your head high😊

[ReachingOut5784]

I'm so sorry you went through that as well. I was raised by a narcissist who felt entitled to bullying, harassing, abusing, and degrading me chronically. Any time anyone shows the same mannerism towards me, even in the slightest, I shut down and avoid everyone or erupt and overreact at everyone. It's extremely difficult to gauge healthy boundaries and behaviors when they've been mirrored inappropriately. Sending warmth and thoughts to you. You're not alone.

[djade in reply to ReachingOut5784]

Oh wow, I do that too....anytime anyone exhibits those characteristics towards me, I avoid them. I try to focus on people who are in need but sometimes I let the other people throw me off. Thank you for letting me know I wasn't alone in my reactions. Thank you also for your kind words!

[ReachingOut5784 in reply to djade]

Yeah, it's something we'll have to work through and that people who had healthy parents won't understand. It's not like we want to be this way. I'm trying to find and focus on people who don't trigger these emotions, too, but we don't always have control over who's around us (neighbors, work, family). But trying helps. You can count on my kind words anytime! Thanks for supporting the community.