Social Anxiety and making new friends

[jay55]

Hi. My name is Jay. I suffer from depression and social anxiety. I have always had just a small group of friends, mostly from high school. As we have gotten older, had kids and developed other interests we really don't stay in contact much. Over the years I have leaned more and more on my wife for my social support which has begun to put a strain on our relationship. Over the last few years she has made a lot of new friends and begun to go out more and more without me (which I should be happy for her). I have tried joining some groups (Meetup) and I play in a tennis league, but I struggle making new lasting and meaningful friends ships. I seem to always be nervous and not know what to say to people.

[BonnieSue]

Me too! Have you tried to get counseling and is your social anxiety treated by a psychiatrist? These would both help tremendously. And have you read anything that helps you? There have got to be books about making friends that you could read. Usually you can make friends by being in a group for the things you love to do. You tried Meetup, but have you tried other groups? Meetup seems like the right place to go, but you say it hasn't helped you, so can you join a group that addresses things you are passionate about? What are you most interested in? Have you tried volunteering?

Can you ask your wife to try to find a couple that you can be friends with? You could go out together as couples. There's Marriage Encounter, a group that wants to take their good marriage and make it even better. People relate to each other as couples and some volunteer for jobs within ME and friendships grow. You can be part of a circle that meets once a month or so and you get to know each other well. There is a spiritual aspect to this also.

I hope you find some of these ideas work for you!