I was diagnosed with manic anx...

[Jmk0813]

I was diagnosed with manic anxiety/depression about 10 year's ago. I still have yet to find a medicine that works for me I have times when I give up and try to deal with it on my own but it doesn't last long till I feel it is to much... my reason for giving up is because all the side affects, with having two young kids and absolutely no support system, friends or family, I can't be falling asleep all the time or flipping out over nothing... I'm just not sure what to do anymore... i can't just deal with it but I'm not sure if I can go on to try another 15 medicines just to not have any work once again....

[BonnieSue]

What a huge responsibility you have and what a difficult mess when you don't have a single medicine that works for you!! Kudos to you for all your efforts to take care of your kids and keep soldiering on with no support system and no meds!!! I don't think you are giving up if you're still taking care of your family but not on a new drug trial. You've still got huge responsibilities without the drug trial. Taking a break from that is no shame at all! Think of all the people who don't take care of their spouse or kids or who walk away...you know all the sad circumstances that occur. And here you are with untreated BD/anxiety and your family with little ones. Take some credit here!!

There is no BD community here, so I think it's okay for me to mention where there is one: go to bipolarsupport.org. It's something new I just found and they seem to monitor the posts well so that there's support and not negativity. I'm sure there are others, too. You need support in a big way. You can always write to me if you want to, but I am fairly new to the bipolar world, but not to depression or anxiety. I'm quite experienced in those. I'm bipolar II, and I'm guessing you are, too, if you're managing without meds.

I can't say it enough...give yourself credit for the huge job you are doing all alone!! Keep up the good work!! ;o) I've been there and I know it's not easy. At least I found meds eventually and I hope you do, too. Don't give up but take a break if you need it. I'll be praying for your success as it's the most powerful thing I can do. Private message me anytime and I'll write back.

I almost forgot...there are 2 necessities: a good psychiatrist and a good counselor. Do you have both? If not, I highly recommend you start asking around and searching the internet for Dr. reviews. You won't find LMHC reviews. Ask your current docs for their referral Drs. & counselors of choice. Ask anyone you can think of and you don't have to say it's for you. I can tell you more, but I'll leave it at that in case you already have both. Bye for now.

[Jmk0813 in reply to BonnieSue]

Wow!! Thank you so much no one has ever said anything like that to me. I am trying so hard to keep everything together and it is so incredibly difficult when you have no one.

I don't have either doctors right now, I left the last therapist when she started putting me on 2 and 3 meds and said "it was a good combination only down fall is we won't no exactly which one is working for you..." so in my eyes I'd be taking unnecessary medicine yes I want to find something that works but to be taking 3 pills when I may just need the one is pointless. Then they just started pushing Xanax 3x a day, I don't want to be numb I just want to be happy.

I do have bipolar 2, more downs than ups, along with manic depression and anxiety.. a horrible combination if I do say so myself.

You can also message me privately anytime it helps having someone to talk to and is so positive I greatly appreciate it!!

Thanks again!

[BonnieSue in reply to Jmk0813]

You're welcome. I didn't say that I truly believe raising children is one of the most important jobs an adult can do. Saving the world in other ways might rate highly, too. You're saving the world by raising responsible adults who may contribute significantly to mankind. We won't necessarily know their contributions sooner but eventually we may learn about them later.

FYI: Bipolar is the same as manic depression. So you have bipolar II and anxiety. Depression and anxiety go together so if you say you have bipolar II many people will already know that includes anxiety. That leaves you with bipolar II or BP II.

I clicked on the "follow" tab under your post so hopefully I'll get notices when you post something and can stay in touch that way.

[Bill998]

Look into ketamine therapy. It's relatively recent and it can be much more effective than regular psych meds.