Today I did a guided Psilocybin trip. I followed all the pre-trip instructions and had a guide for 6 hours. A preprogrammed musical tape was played.
So far I am underwhelmed with the results but who knows. I had the main "intention" of coming to grips with earlier death than I had previously planned for.
The musical program was good but maybe masked subtle things that were going on that I missed. I ended up taking about 7 grams of mushrooms which should have provided a pretty vivid trip?
I had taken a small does of mushrooms about a month ago so maybe this effected the current trip. I know it is not good to repeat in short time but thought a month after a small does was not a problem.
I am nauseous most of the time, from chemo etc, and have just dealt with it but decided to take one of the prochlorperazine pills that was prescribed to be sure I did not puke the mushrooms. Maybe this was a mistake. I can not find anything about interactions online but ???
Maybe my dreams tonight will be revelatory?
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spencoid2
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It's been about forty years since I've had any experience with psychedelics. But the nature of my individual experiences, good or bad, seemed to depend not just on what was going on during the trip but on my state of mind going into the trip. As I felt both were beyond my control, I stopped tripping with friends... they were having a good time EVERY time and I was not!
It seems possible that your concepts, intentions and expectations may be overwhelming the "letting go" power of the drug. You seem to be approaching the experience as a tourist might approach a trip when he has a preconceived schedule of every sight he wants to see, along with expectations of how he will experience and enjoy each sight. Maybe better to kick those to the side and let the trip take you where IT wants to take you? (Because, you know, wherever you go... there you are.)
Another idea would be to do some reading and try to get a thought-based or intellectually oriented approach to possible spiritual meanings of realizing earlier death than previously planned for. Authors like Ram Dass, Eckhart Tolle, Anthony de Mello, etc. can provide a foundation for "new" (old, really) ways to think about human consciousness and existence.
Even if you don't buy what they are selling as you read, while in your normal state of consciousness, the next time you go on a trip things might click. You might then experience some sort of "enlightenment" rather than just reading about it, and have an ah-ha moment. But then again, you might not... you might stay stuck in the words and concepts, because that is what our Western minds like to do!
As with the tourist, reading about the mountain is not the same as having the experience of BEING ON the mountain. Perhaps during your trip you actually were on the mountain, but your mind was occupied with the guidebook's list of all the great things a trip to the mountain can bring?
my guess is that the continuous musical program masked what might have been going on at a deeper level. i do not listen to music as background. When i listen to music i listen deeply for all the subtleties. I think i will try it again on my own in a few months. We have a bunch of mushrooms we recently bought and also the process of growing them sounds like my kind of thing.
I think a book that helped me with the death issue was "How We Die" I also read "how We Live" by same author
Thanks for the link... I will check that author out.
The authors I mentioned would be coming at what "me" actually means for a human being. Or as some have asked, are we human beings having a spiritual experience or are we spiritual beings having a human experience?
What you said about music is interesting, because when I listen to music it often can become an intellectual exercise where I am analyzing the music and THINKING about how it was composed, what the structure is, what instruments there are and what the lyrics mean, etc. This compared to when I was a young child and always just heard and FELT the music without any analysis, letting the music create images and moods and emotions.
Same with the psychedelic trip: the "bad" ones involved more thinking (and worrying) while the "good" ones were more about feeling (and just being) without trying to analyze or understand the experience.
This is what I enjoy about alcohol. It can relax the thinking (and worrying) part of my brain and liberate the "just being" part. Unfortunately it is also habit-forming and tends to work less well than desired when consumed too frequently or in too great a quantity. And booze has NEVER given me a truly transformational "not-me-anymore" experience the way tripping has. It is more of a "still-me-but-a-relaxed-me" experience, which is good but is not about to change the way I view life, death, and human existence in general.
A good trip to me is one where my ego mostly dissolves, but what is left of my ego is not at all worried that the rest of it is gone. A bad trip is when my ego gets worried and afraid about being disturbed and tries to amplify itself to survive the trip... or, put another way, the most defining characteristic of my ego (and many others) is FEAR. Fear is why I stopped taking trips some forty years ago.
The ultimate trip is when perfect love casts out all fear. And it is possible to have such a trip without drugs... just ask Jesus. The problem is, when you go LOOKING for that trip, you become worried that you won't get it, and that fear of not getting it means... you don't get it! (Story of my life.)
I don't analyze music when listening or at least not much. I do not need to completely understand the music to enjoy it. I had a friend many years ago who demonstrated how you can destroy a musical experience or at least not enjoy it the way I like to. I went to the opera with him, forget which one but it was Wagner. He brought the orchestral score and a flashlight, not the libretto, the whole score. Th only joy he seemed to have was when the orchestra departed from the score and he would (softly at least) mumble some sort of ahha. I promised myself I would never destroy music for myself tats way. The farthest I go with analysis is trying to figure out what is wrong with my player piano or stereo. Even if there is something a little off with the piano i can usually fix it with a drink or two or a hit on the joint.
That's good. I too can destroy music, by thinking too much. I'm an over-thinker by nature.
My father loved Bach and seemed to be able both think deeply about the music yet still deeply enjoy it viscerally. Usually I'm either one or the other.
now that i have no fear of mushrooms (it had been 40 years since i used them in my youth a few times and had good trips) i will probably wait a few months and take some on my own.
i stated as my goal to deal with fear of death but i really don't have much fear or at least do not obsess about it.
Some of the other drugs sound interesting. I also do want to do MDMA together with my husband to help re-establish our bond that has withered over the years.
At this point I am doing just chemo (and had balls off) and probably have a number of possibilities in the future. Tolerating it well, the only serious problem is not getting much sleep due to hot flashes and frequent urination.
probably a mdma experience together would rekindle some fresh “ wooohooo “ ( yayahahahaya ) … just say’in ….but be careful, check both your physical conditions , ….for example I have adt induced cardiac qrs train scrambled eggs. My trying to experience a mdma run would likely trigger a heart attack in me ( I’m told I might due for a stroke or heart attack due to adt - zometa cardiac damage , to be careful and not over exert myself unnecessarily ). MDMA is a long lasting experience, …..if you start ( say ) this evening it’ll last thru the night and into tomorrow, you’ll feel very depleted ( and sleep a lot ) for several days afterwards. If you’se guys are healthy enough, it should be everything you want from it and more.
Sounds like you have a sound plan with the shrooms, you already know about having to wait to repeat it again ….. I’m pretty sure your experience will allow you to be in more of a controlled situation, …… better than this last one. It should be way more fun too, at home where you are safe. Kewl …
❤️❤️❤️
Good job being open minded . Shrooms are good . Ayahuasca is more healing imho . Worth a shot . . It healed my mind and dropped my fear of death by pc completely . It’s a form of spiritual healing . Good luck ! ✌️
yes indeed! They call them a church that run these ceremonies bent on healing . They guide you gently through it all night . They protect you from fear .
in reply to
Did you have to travel out of state or out of country to avail yourself of that?
I would like to also get info on where this is available. A is not illegal so that should not be a factor. My very preliminary investigation shows that Costa Rica has many opportunities. I have been wanting to visit Costa Rica anyway, get really good reports from tech support people working there. No need to speak Spanish, everyone speaks English. High standard of living for all but the poor. Low cost of living. Great weather. It looks like this country is slowly getting over some of its craziness but still want to have someplace to move to if it gets too strange here. I found this site that threatens to find guided trips in the US but I did not explore the site. Lwaving that to someone else
Make sure to take multivitamins for several days ahead of time…. And if given a choice, during orange juice if possible while going on your trip!
While my experience is all in the past (mostly due to living in a state where everything is illegal), proper preparation made a huge difference in how intense the experience was..
I am not sure how I would feel on a guided experience- I always flew solo, or I acted as a Sherpa…. Also, being comfortable was key to enjoyment, and the deepest introspection happened towards the end, where I was alone and generally getting laying down / getting ready to sleep - no music, white noise if needed - And turning my trip inwards…
i think it was the continuous music that masked any trippiness that i would have experienced consciously but i might have gotten some unconscious benefit. i actually feel a little calmer. i am putting the stuff together to grow mushrooms. also have maybe a half ounce from a friend. the next trip will be camping in the redwoods. we have a really deluxe camper (no more tent camping for me) that we never use. might have to wait for better weather or we could find some other natural location.
if it were warmer, a moonless night at home would be great, we have a night sky that it amazing.
That sounds great. And since its been 40 years for me too I can see why you might have chosen a guide experience but the camping trip sounds great. You already have enough experience to maybe not need a guided trip ?
Plan it though. Make sure your neighbor campers aren't scary looking rough necks lol.
Home is never a bad choice either especially or own.
we know of a place to camp where there are virtually no people. an also find a place on our land. there are some really great places but being in the mountains there is a little potential for danger
The guides choice of music sounds like might have lessened the trip but when on your own nice to have some of "your music" along as it might be needed. I always "feathered" the trips with cannabis and music.
we have some decent bluetooth speakers we could bring and have about 70000 audio tracks to make a playlist from. however i would love to figure out a program that i could play on my player piano. it plays remarkably, it is the player system that was eventually licensed to Steinway as Spirio. Most of the music I like is pretty heavy classical stuff but I can probably find a mellower (impressionistic stuff probably) but this would require me to be at home since the 9 ft piano is a bitch to move to the redwoods. I'll figure out something
Mescaline was my favorite of the hallucinagines by far. Almost as good as acid visually but able to reign things in if necessary. A really nice head trip too.
Shrooms were fun and not taken as seriously. Although I once or twice I had some acid like experiences with them.
im with ya there. The best trips were mescaline as far as fun goes but brown windowpane for Led Zeppelin music hallucinations.
Best night on mescaline was with 3 of my brothers riding kid spring animals all night long in the pouring rain, come daylight we looked at each other totally caked in mud and soaking wet and slunk away into hiding.
i am not aware of any legal trials going on now although a look on clinicaltrials.gov might show something new. you could travel to one of the legal states Colorado Oregon and maybe more.
About 10 years ago a friend with metastatic breast cancer did a mushroom trip with Columbia Presbyterian Hospital.. it was a trial to help people not fear death...
She found her Spirit Animal.. let go of the fear of death... not sure if this all still exists, referenced on the Internet.. true story, I witnessed this trial was a valid trial and successful.
I was interested because about 45 years ago I did it in the form of tea- had a guide with me, though not interfering. The mushrooms may be altered today just like the cannabis has been. This 'one' experience was not recreational. I prepared for a sacred experience. It changed my life forever. The experience is still vivid in my mind and showed me another dimension of life or reality. I did another two after that also created an opening to more QOL and a wider scope of this reality. My caution today is the adulteration of the mushrooms. Source is important. And, I also believe the environment you place yourself in... to have someone trusted with you though letting you be on your own solo journey.
I was very lucky to find a therapist who needed a get away. We have a lovely little remote cabin (with all the modern amenities) so she and her partner stayed with us for three days. Otherwise I would have had to travel about 150 miles. She is not taking new patients, I was just lucky to catch her at a weak moment
Ok can I remember what it cost? It was a sliding scale and I paid based on my net worth which is shrinking so I think it was $1500 which included a $100 contribution to less well off patients.
Psilocybe is legal in Oregon, Colorado and some cities like Oakland California. This is a decent recent (i think) site with a lot of information on the current state of legality.
i did not but i avoid puking at all cost and also took an anti nausea pill which might have been a mistake. the mushrooms were soaked in honey which probably helped. it could be the bitter taste that prompts puking, i don't think it is a necessary part of the process as it is with other drugs.
in reply to
sure did , every time . Barfing from too much booze is worse . After the purge you feel much better and the trip enhances . The sickness goes away . Imho
yea buddy .. put the 24/7 fireplace - Christmas tunes on the big screen . Lower the lighting, snuggle on the couch and sip some hot chocolate with marshmallows. ( enhanced as necessary 😁 )
Even if I went to one of the legal states, as Spencoid2 suggests, I would still have to find a legit guide, as Lulu700 says. If anyone knows of such a contact, please private message me.
not easy to find for illegal drugs. it was a challenge to find one for mushrooms which i believe are not legal in California as someone else suggested. you can search online for ayahuasca which might be what i should have done. anyway my not spectacular trip has a possible positive explanation which i will not detail unless anyone wants me to. I am not suggesting it for anyone else but I did MDMA a few times in my youth and did not find it at all scary.i also did mushrooms maybe two or three times and enjoyed it and found it enlightening. i plan to do it some time soon together with my husband. it is a great bonding drug as well. i think it would be easy to find this as a street drug but i would choose my supplier carefully, recommendation from friend etc.
The worst drugs are booze and cigarettes , both legal and taxed, Imagine that ? Compared to what they’re are doing these days( meth , fentanyl ,oxy, ) we were angels just exploring in the 70s. . Now a huge portion of the youth and adults too are suicidal . You almost have to be to doing these kind of drugs that kill …You know it before you do it . There is little help for anyone out here along doing these drugs . My only addictions now are spring water and fresh air and veggies . 😔
i was referring to the war on drugs as a simple solution to a complex problem not ayahuasca and was being sarcastic about loving simple solutions. and i loved the helicopter assaults in out peaceful mountain retreat in order to bust the pot growers (sarcastic)
It is mescaline. Peyote. I read them in order of publication in my youth as did my friends and we imagined when under the influence that we were seeing our "allies" etc. I have forgotten most all of it.
Journey to xytlan..sp?....and a little i ching to help in your decisions....used to get ozs of mescaline powder...and some small speckled pink pills...think thos werechemist made....but man.
The powder yep. Came in aluminum foil. Now that its all in the past I wonder who decided what quantity was a hit. My foil packs were always 3 hits and definitely did the trick but again it was a more mellow, controllable trip than acid and still had plenty of visual fun.
Yes...i agree.....would give a left nut for some now....oh thats right....no nuts....we used to cap it in gel caps...one did the trick but it was the licking the fingers while capping that was always a plus......🥴
Any psychedelic that requires puking wouldn't be for me. Just saying. I remain psilocybin and MDMA 'naive' as the med types would say. After watching documentaries promoting their potential psychological benefits I remain very interested.
puking is optional. actually it is not that common and if you improve the palatability of the mushrooms by soaking in honey for example, puking is not likely. I did not puke. Can also make a tea which also reduces puking.
i have an absolute adversity to puking. My mother was an expert. She could keep up with the social drinkers by puking. So I took an anti nausea pill before the shrooms but that might have changed effectiveness?
in reply to
With ayahuasca , peyote , mescaline purging brings on the high . It is nessasary . After the purge the magic increase greatly . The purge is your friend .
There are probably biographies of people alive during this time and other books written about the era but I would love to see you write a little memoir of that time. You had a great perspective to view it from.
that’s a nice thought , ….. great perspective. It’d have to be written from a point of view that left out at least a bit of the debauchery and overt nerdness . Yayahahahaya yayahahahaya.
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