I have kept my cancer treatment to a personal basis sharing it only with some family and friends. Almost 7 years ago, I was diagnosed with Stage 4, Prostate Cancer and a Gleason Score 9, positive margin. As most, I went through prostate biopsies, the radical robotic proctectomy, radiation treatment, and hormone treatment. I took all the available treatments, Lupron, Casadex, Xtandi, Zolodex, and just went through my first round of Radium223 with the experimental pill called Olaparib.
Before starting Radium223, they wanted me to get a bone biopsy so I reluctantly went in to get that done. Just as I questioned the biopsies on my prostate, I questioned getting the biopsies on bone marrow. They potentially spread cancer throughout my body despite doctors stating it's not a threat nor compromising to my treatment prospects.... I challenge that and just about everything at this point.
Before starting Radium223, I started taking Ivermectin to see if it had an effect on my tumors. Within 3 days, all the pain was gone. It was amazing and while I can't medically prove what happened, I know 100% that it improved my life. The largest tumor of 45 was at the top of my right femur and walking was restored to normal.
When I went to get the biopsy, they first said it would be in my spine, then hip, and then changed it to my right femur while on the table ready to go. The nurse technicians actually debated why the changes. While under partial sedation, I could hear everything as if I was participating in the procedure. The bad part was I could feel everything and went through unbearable pain when they drilled into my bone. Originally, I was told 3 biopsies would be collected but they collected a total of seven, all from the same hole.
When I returned home, pain set in and within 24 hours, it became intense. I took Advil but it wasn't enough. By Saturday morning, I had to go to emergency because I could no longer walk and was stuck to crutches. Between 15 days from the procedure to when I saw the Oncologist to start the Radium22 treatment, more than half was very painful stopping me from work and normal day to day functions. If it was going to hurt this bad, they should have said something! My question is why would they pick the single spot wh ere I bear the weight of my body when there is 44 other tumors to pick from? I was furious. After telling my oncologist, his response was, "at least you are through the worst part of it now". I feel that I should have gotten up and walked out right then and there.
With the lengthy list of side effects for Radium223 that they insisted get immediately, I reluctantly proceeded. Remember, other than the pain from the biopsy that was now almost healed, I had no pain in my tumors. After getting the first of 6 injections of Radium223, I started the 225 mile drive home. By the next day I felt fatigued and sore, similar to flu or a bad cold. The next day it got worse and I felt sore all over and my tumors all started hurting. By the weekend, I could barely move around to extreme pain in all my tumors. They gave me hydrocodone which did help for a while. The bad part is I live in pain only relived by pain medications. It really pisses me off!! I don't believe the doctors are shooting straight with me and push a slow and painful death instead.
I don't fear death as we all have time and date stamps. I explained in great detail that I want to die with dignity, and not suffer some sick, slow, painful death. These folks are tone deaf and worship the almighty dollar. They feed me a line of BS just to push their lab rat experiments. It's about betrayal and it's about dishonesty. It's also about an institution that treats symptoms and never utters a word about anything (alternatives) not on their scripts or menus. When I asked about other possibilities, they quickly dismiss them backing it with the excuse that it would already be a treatment option if it was so great. *I said I agreed with exception options that won't make money will never be available. They didn't like my honest opinion.
So, here I am, it's show time, do or die time, and I have everything to gain and nothing to lose at this point. I don't accept what they offer and will either find a miracle or die looking.