New member seeking strength and hope

Greetings -

I am a new member having spent the past week or so reviewing existing posts from other members battling this disease. I am so impressed with the wisdom and strength you fellows have and your seemingly undying positivity in the face of the reality of this disease and the harsh side effects of the treatments you are going through. I truly admire you all for this and want this for myself. I searched the forum to try to zone in on my specific concerns but I feel I need to submit a post of my own as my main concerns seem to be quite different than most, but I'm not sure.

Prior to my stage 4 prostate diagnosis I've had a lifetime of physical trauma injuries from several separate accidents over a 25 year span, many of which required major reconstruction surgeries in which several internal fixation devices were utilized, skin graphs from being burned over 40% of my body, compound fractures, fractured skull, broken spine, pseudomonis spinal infection from one of 11 spine surgeries and then dealing with the psychological impact of all of these injuries.

I've also battled spine cancer that I think was caused by the probably hundreds of Xrays I've had of my spine...I went through chemo and radiation for that....

Anyway, with all the past situations, I was determined to fight back each time and I had that undying hope and positivity ... time after time. But I must tell you, with each separate tragic episode, I found it harder and harder to find the inner strength to bounce back. I mean you just get tired, you know? My last reconstructive surgery was in 2007 and for the next 5 years I began to feel assured that maybe the worst was over now and just MAYBE now I can finally start enjoying my life. Then, in 2013 at age 58 I got the news that I had PC.

With my deep faith in God, I prayed for strength to see me through it. I asked for God to put me on the right path for healing. I was directed through what I believe was Divine intervention to a Naturopathic doctor who told me I could cure my body of anything with the 3 crucial elements of Mind, Body and Spirit. To condense, he showed me how to change my way of thinking, then detox my body and radically change my diet to supply my body with nutrition to enable my immune system to fight disease. The third aspect was to bring God closer into my life.

The result of all this was that I was able to bring my PSA down to less than 1 from 10 and followup MRI's showed the tumor shrinking year after year. I was able to keep my PSA over the following 5 years below 7, sometimes down to 1 and it would vary from test period to test period but never rising above 7. It's like I spent those next 5 years rebuilding the house of cards and then suddenly the wind came through again and blew 'em all down once more when in 2017 I lost my entire family in a horrendous tragedy resulting in the tragic loss of my elderly parents and all 3 siblings.

I was so devastated I just isolated myself ... I prayed to Jesus saying "Lord, you've gotten me through a whole slew of tragedy my whole life. You saw me through each time. But I'm never gonna get through this one. Please help me!"....and that tragedy just triggered me to relive like a movie all the previous tragic events in my life in true PTSD fashion....I waned from my cancer diet and just let go of all desire to live. But with more help from my Naturopath doctor, I once again found the strength to get myself righted back on the tracks, primarily through the power of prayer.

So, in October I went for my first PSA test in a year and I was floored when my urologist told me my PSA was 47. Bone scan, CT and MRI confirmed mets in both hips, ribs and spine. My reaction to the news of the Stage 4 PC was an immediate depression plunge, I mean like when the f#*k is the perpetual tragedies ever gonna end??

So I may have sounded shallow or negative to my doctor when I told him that at this point in my life I'm just tired of the bad news, tired of the pain, tired of the operations, tired of the long recoveries only to be greeted by a newer and bigger tragedy....At this point in my life I'm concerned most with quality of life than quantity. I don't find it good news that my doctor said my cancer is still treatable but with few options, all of which will leave me with incontinence, impotency and all the other undesirable side effects that I hear all you guys talk about.

But despite all the physical stuff I've been through, I've rebounded from my tragedies remarkably, I've kept active and hopeful, watch my diet, I'm in excellent physical shape despite what I've been through and I'm proud of my reconstructed body. I was married in 2016 to a wonderful woman who thinks I'm incredible and the two of us have been enjoying our sex life more than at any other time in either of our lives.

So now I've got stage 4 PC and the research I've done on it over the past couple weeks has shown me that now that will now soon evaporate.

Again, I feel shallow by seemingly being concerned mainly with this aspect of it but that's how I am feeling. It's very important to me. I've not had a lot of good s#*t go on in my life, but I have always had great sex, so it's not hard to reason that I am very upset (scared) of losing that too. Plus I just discovered I have a large painless lump in my scrotum leading me to wonder if I also have testicle cancer.

So, largely due to the tragedy of losing my family I moved to FL from NY just to try to begin a new life. Once here I got back on my own natural protocol, this time adding the 35% Food Grade H2O2 protocol and colloidal silver as well as taking advantage of the Florida sunshine and getting myself a half hour a day of sun for best Vit D delivery. I'm also reading about Fenbendazole and the Joe Tippens protocol.

I found Moffitt Cancer Center in Tampa, near where I live and I had an admissions appointment via phone last week with the director of Urological Oncology who spent almost an hour with me discussing options. I have a face to face with him as well as with their top RO on Jan. 8th. I told him flat out what I basically said here. I'm exhausted of life and can't fathom any more loss of QOL. He understood and assured me that Moffitt is one of the best Cancer Centers in the US and that he looks forward to seeing me on the 8th.

I guess the first question I have here would be, is there any consensus from any of you guys of precisely what I should ask these doctors on the 8th? Clinical trials? Should I maintain my natural approach of the H2O2 and Colloidal Silver protocols (which have greatly helped my symptoms over the past few weeks btw).

The research I've done thus far I think leads me to think that I really don't want to do the LHRH hormone therapy. I was thinking that perhaps an androgen blocker such as Casodex mono-therapy may help me get the PSA down effectively and once achieved maybe I could then drop the Casodex and then go back to maintaining and monitoring my PSA through my own natural protocols as I have for the past 6 years?

But probably the advice I am really seeking is to ask you guys how do you maintain your optimism and hope through all this. I have always been a positive guy, believe me, but after a lifetime of perpetual tragedy I'm finding myself just asking God to please just take me. I'm just exhausted physically, mentally and psychologically with the constant struggle to survive.

Any thoughts and advice would be appreciated....And, I truly appreciate the fact that this forum exists for me to be able to confide and seek support.

[GP24]

If you want to avoid the side effects of Lupron injections you can take 150 mg of Casodex instead. Add Tamoxifen 10 mg to avoid gynaecomastia. Almost all doctors are convinced Lupron will be more beneficial against the cancer than Casodex, however, you stated that quality of life is more important for you. I would estimate that Lupron provides about 25% better results than Casodex 150 mg.

A better alternative would be to use Xtandi and ask your doctor if you could use this without Lupron. Xtandi willl then work without lowering testosterone:

xtandihcp.com/crpc-results/...

[16starsky]

Hi dbfrav,

Just read your post, wow what an incredible journey you have endured so far in your life. Sorry you are also had to find this forum due to your PC.

Everyone, and I mean everyone will welcome you and try and help you.

ANY questions you have, someone will answer them.

I am the wife of a APC man, diagnosed 2018, I have found more about PC on HU in six months than any OC has talked about, and am truly grateful for all the help of the kind members here.

As everyone will tell you, positive thinking is a must (although it is difficult sometimes) I hope your wife is a strong lady and will support you all the way on this difficult journey that you are on.Its as hard for the care giver, sometimes as it is for the man ( I know from personal experience)

God will be by your side, you are only the same age as my Hubbie, and with your healthy lifestyle, exercise, positive mind and lots of love from friends and family you will ride this wave.

Be kind to yourself and never be too proud to ask others for help

I wish you along and happy future with your 'relatively 'new wife

NEVER GIVE UP!

Kim

[LearnAll]

You are brave man ...a true survivor. What you have gone thru is enough to make anyone hopeless and discouraged.

There are men (like Magnus) on this forum for whom casodex worked for many years. In many european countries ,they still use casodex as monotherapy.

Coming to sadness and despair and what you have been thru, I would like to suggest something...I hope you dont mind. Get yourself evaluated for depresion and try a simple antidepressant medicine which can do wonders and help people cope up with very stressful, tragic situations. This is not advice but info for you to think and consider. Best wishes.

[Hidden]

Your story is both sad and uplifting. It is amazing what you have survived. You do not always know the differences you make in other peoples lives. I mean you just made a bit of a difference in mine and I don't even know you.

I suspect the crap you have to go through to fight PCa would be an annoyance compared to the tumult you have already faced. There are guys on this board that are thriving for more than a decade and they seemingly started off worse than you.

I do not know if you saw this but if i was Stage 4 I would be asking my oncologist about it. I mean low toxicity and in that one guy, it wiped his cancer out. PCa morphs into something that becomes castrate resistant eventually. The cells that are not castrate resistant are wiped out selectively leaving those cells that somehow have another way to thrive. These oncologists believe it is prolactin.

healthunlocked.com/advanced...

Enjoy the warm weather down there!

[tallguy2]

Thank you for sharing your life's story. It is humbling to read. And a tribute to the human spirit that you shared it with this forum.

I have nothing much to add to what's already been said. At some time we all will be faced with the decision "enough is enough." My father made this choice a few months prior to losing him to mCRPCa. I am not there yet. Perhaps you are, but please take a look at ADT. Your relationship with your wife is very important. My wife told me that having me around for many years to come, and being able to travel together was more important to her than a few more years of sexual intimacy. Intimacy can take many forms. We now delight in just hugging each other and snuggling in bed. Each couple must make their own decision. And that's the point: it's decision time, dbfrav. No doctor can make this decision for you; they can only advise. The decision is yours.

Blessings.