My wonderful husband of 38 years passed away on September 26 at the age of 71. Ten years ago he had brachytherapy. In 2018 he was on Zytiga for seven months until it stopped working. In January he started taxotere for a few rounds, then Jevtana and finally cyclophosphamide. He rapidly started to decline on cyclophosphamide. He was accepted into receiving Keytruda but was too weak. He had three cystoscopies between December 2018 and June 2019 to stop the bleeding but they didn’t help. I am beyond sad and heartbroken that he is gone. He suffered so much.
I pray that there will be a cure for all of you battling on against this horrible disease.
Written by
Holly1952
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Sorry to hear this news. Praying for you to have serenity to accept this huge loss. Wives like you who stand by her life partner like a rock are great human beings. We all have to go some day..that's the ultimate truth .
You are the definition of a real warrior, your husband tackled the prostate cancer, but science is lacking on how this disease survives beyond what we know.
Some cancer cells just thrives beyond the treatments, we need to discover why.
I'm one year in with advanced prostate cancer, your husband took the bullet for many of us on the front line.
I'm so sad to hear of your loss. We lost a member of our local prostate support group this week, These people are irreplaceable. We are all diminished by their loss.
I am so sad to see this. Know a lot of hearts will be hurting with yours as they read this, and so many people will see this and be thinking of you, praying for you, sending healing thoughts your way. There are never the right words but your loss will be shared and felt here. ❤️
Hello Holly, all of us face this disease together. It is a true brotherhood, and your loss is devastating. So many good men face this disease so bravely, and so many suffer for all that it has stolen from us. Your husband must have been a very brave man, it is not easy to live with this disease, and often it is the women in our lives that maintain our drive to stay alive. I am truly sorry for your loss.
Thank you for sharing. I'm sad to hear of your loss and of the difficult times you've had to deal with. Please accept the condolences of us on this site.
So sorry for your loss, sounds like you were lucky to have each other for 38 years...hope you find solace in your memories, Godspeed with your healing.
What can you say to someone who’s lost the love of their life? Our language has not yet created sufficient words to express the sorrow. Hopefully the love you can feel from this site will at least give you a small bit of comfort as you move forward. I can tell you one thing. Virtually every man on this site with a loving wife such as you, wishes upon our demise, for you to somehow forge on, and try to find some meaning and joy in life until we meet again on the other side ....
I am sorry to read of your husband's passing. It is never easy. Your words show the special bond you and he had. Try to do what he would have wanted you to do. Grieving takes time but also reflect on the good memories. It is hard and you will never forget but the pain will ease. My sincere sympathy to you.
Currumpaw
My sincerest heart felt sadness for your loss Holly - thank you for thinking of the rest of us at such a tough time for you - bless you.
I am so very sorry for your loss. It is only 16 months ago since my own husband lost the battle. I suppose the only comfort that remains is that they are no longer suffering and that they are at peace now. I hope you have people around you to support you in this difficult time.
He is at peace and you are embarking on a new journey. Hopefully you can enjoy the memories and have some peace yourself at some point.
Best wishes for your transition from being care taker for your husband to caring more for yourself. I am guessing your husband would want it that way. Please let us know how you are doing.
Thank you for sharing your story of your love and companionship for so many years. I can only say that his experiences likely played a part in advancing the quest for a cure that may help some of us or our progeny in the near future. You are very lucky to have the time you spent together. Keep looking ahead and enjoy your remaining life as a tribute to the partnership you shared.
My sincere condolences for the loss of your husband, I’ve read all the comments sent regarding your husband passing, the sincere warmth of feelings and sorrow felt by others on this site was so supportive and very comforting to read. I hope that all these supportive comments help comfort you in this time of sorrow and help your spirit soar once again. It’s time to take care of you now Holly. Hugs being to you . Take care of yourself .
I’m so sorry for your loss .you now start your painful journey of grief. My thoughts are with you.it won’t be easy.my husband died at 67 three years ago this month..everyday was a gift.
Are those gifts enough, C9? I struggle with the thought...the certainty... that I have the advantage of knowing that every moment of my life is “now”, and that my family will go through years of “when”... will I continue to bring the sorrow of my struggle to them even after a I am gone? It is almost unbearable.
I feel similarly but I believe two things to be true. First, my family is very happy to have me here for as long as is possible, though they are still worried. Second, it is my unfounded guilt and love for them that is driving my concern. Love is good but guilt is destructive and distracts from our being here now to enjoy the moment. I have gotten better at enjoying the time we have together, knowing that everyone has to deal with life events their own way. Thankfully, my daughters are grown and in solid relationships. I would be much harder with younger children.
My wife bears most of the burden (though I remain independent and working right now), for helping coordinate my care, along with care for some others in the family. I am most concerned for her. We talk about how she's doing and what we can do to keep her life balanced and healthy. She has a therapist to talk with and I hope to have one soon.
I don't know your situation but I do wish you the clarity of mind and that you are able to take the opportunity to have candid conversations with your close family and friends about this. You may be pleasantly surprised at what you find.
MY prayers for you and your family. I pray that you can hang on and draw strength from God the Father and knowing that your husband is no longer subject to the suffering and pains from this world. I also pray that his last few years with you had been a pain free and had happy one with you by his side.
Holly, I am truly saddened to hear about your dear husband’s passing. You both will definitely be in my prayers at church this morning. I hope the sorrow and sense of loss you feel now will, in due time, be replaced by happy memories from your 38 years together. Stay strong. Keep your faith. May your love for him sustain you and your family as you grieve his loss.
As for the rest of us, his passing is a sobering reminder that we are a long way not only from a cure for advanced PCa, but also from the ability to make it a chronic, but not lethal, disease. We need to join Holly in her prayer for a cure for advanced PCa.
May God bless Holly, her family, and all of us in this forum.
I'm sorry. All I can say is that no one can grieve for losing the love of your life as you do, it's a singular grief known only to you, born of the love you and he built together, moment by moment, over decades of intimacies, great and small, none forgotten, all of them unique only to you, that now reside forever in your heart, yours and yours only. So while we share your grief, at the same time you are alone with it, and it's something precious none but you can bear, a continuation of the love that bound you together with him, memories to hold you as he did, motivation to wake every morning and continue as you know he would want you to, with sorrow, yes, but also with smiles as those memories arise to guide and strengthen you. The pain may ease over time, but it will also always linger, and I'm sorry for that.
Your and his courage are models for all of us. Partners carry so much of the load. I know that mine does. We attended the MaleCare conference yesterday in New York. A featured speaker was Debra Jennings, the wife of a New York Times writer. The entire program yesterday was given by females----surgeons, radiologists, oncologists, therapists and researchers. Imagine!
I’m so sorry for your loss, his memory and life lives on in those who he touched. Stay active and Take on new exciting endeavors! This will help your transition. God bless you
Hello Holly- I have sadness in my heart for your loss. I hope in due time you can think about the wonderful times you enjoyed with your husband over the many years you were together and not about the difficult times he had to go through.
I'm so sorry. Its heartbreaking. My dad passed away 3 years ago this October at age 70. It's so terrible to lose our loved ones to this terrible disease.
I am so sorry to read this news; my sympathy to you and my hope that you may find comfort in the good memories you have of him and the continuing presence of friends and family.
Dear Holly, my heart breaks when yet another warrior goes down. My sincere condolences and might the Almighty God have mercy on you in the years ahead.
I usually have something to say on all topics but words escape me whenever this happens...we lost a Brother and his journey ended. May you gain the peace that lasts and lasts.
Holly1952: Thank you for sharing this sad news with us. I hope you understand that you are a special member of this family, and we would all like to give you a big hug if only we could.
So sorry for your loss. I have lost 4 family members and 5 friends to cancer . I am also frustrated that the followup treatment remains the same for 50 plus yrs. Kemo and radiation which poisened your body as well! Granted they have keytrudata which also can kill you as it can cause your immune system to attack your organs as well. It is very discouraging and the majority of population are dying from this as we speak. All the dollars that are given to this horrible disease and we still don't have a better cure for this disease that torments your body. We can only hope and pray that this will change soon. My deepest sympathy to you and your family and may your husband finally be at peace!
The end time comes to all of us. The lucky ones have someone like you to walk with them. I wish you peace and blessings now at this time and that some how the good memories will smother your pain.
I am truly sorry! I hope you and your family can find peace and comfort knowing how many terrific years you had with him and that he is no longer in pain.
When my time comes my biggest wish will be for my wife to remember me fondly but to start enjoying her new life without me. After all of the love and compassion you showed him, I am sure that he wants you to be happy in your new reality. All my best to you!
Prayers for you, this cancer is brutal and what a brave husband . I’m so happy you had each other to lean on for 38 years. I hope you can find all the good times to focus on during those 38 years to bring comfort. Just place your hand over your heart, he’s always with you.
My heart goes out to you...I pray you stay strong as you have during his battle. It’s a tough road to be on, but when you can, remember him with a smile on your face.
A virtual hug from one who knows what you’re going through ...
Please accept sincere condolences. So sorry to hear of his suffering and yours. It must be hard to imagine, but in time, the warmth of his memory will replace the pain you are feeling now.
Of course, we don't know you, but we are all thinking of you during this difficult time.
May your husband rest in peace. I wish you and your family hope in the midst of sorrow, and comfort in the midst of pain.
Holly1952 Sorry for your loss. Thank you for supporting your hubby through his PCa journey. Having someone like you with him every step of the way must have made the suffering that much more bearable!
I send my prayers and thoughts for your grief. I believe in “life after death” and believe that the spirits of those who die still remain close to the living. “May the Lord look upon you with kindness and grant you His Peace.”
Gather loved one around you now. Know that your husband's no longer suffering, and remember the Man who was;
The Man who was the one you loved
The Man who caught your eye
The Man to whom you shared yourself
The Man who in Spirit still is close
The Man who shared this life
Peace and love,
Bees
Dear Holly, I pray that you heal and recover from this horrible diseases presence . Please know that there is no suffering for your beloved husband now. As a husband with APC my hope is for my angel to live healthy and happy if and when I check out early. There is no joy in loss . Please Keep yourself well and hold on to your faith. God Bless...Scott 🙏
So very sorry to hear this. I lost my wife to inflammatory breast cancer in 2006 and needed help dealing with the grief. Our local hospice offers a program for bereaved spouses that I found extremely helpful in moving forward. The program went for 7 weeks and included the same individuals at each session. We became somewhat a family and some of us still meet for dinner every month.
Your loving wife hears everything you think and say. And I'm sure she is just as proud of you now as she was when you were together. May she rest as an angel...
So sorry for your loss. My prayers go out to you and your family. I lost my wife four years ago but not to Cancer, but her pain at the end was great. The wonderful memories of our long marriage and our family and friends have helped me through my loss. God Bless you and your family.
I am desperately sorry for your loss and the fact that currently there are some matters that are beyond the scope of mankind's knowledge. My prayer is that it will not always be so.
Holly I am sorry to hear of your loss. My husband lost the battle Sept 16 2019. I am still trying to wrap my head around it. I am ever so thankful that he is no longer suffering. I miss him so much but I believe I will heal and I am praying for the very same for you. Just one day at a time!
So sorry for your loss. My dear friend told me to go one hour at a time. I went back to work yesterday. My students keep me busy during the day. Funny things happen that I would always share with him. I still do when I get home. I know he’s listening and watching over me and our son. I will keep you in my prayers. They help me go on every day.
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