Does my son have ADHD?

[Neurosri]

Hi everyone,

I apologize in advance if this is not the right forum for this question.

My almost-5- year-old who is in Pre-K goes to public school in New York City. He has had a rough past few weeks with trouble following directions and being disruptive. Apparently, he walks around in class in the middle of activities and goes to the restroom too frequently. His teacher thinks he is also "fidgety" and can't focus for more than 5-10 minutes. Last week he crumpled up his drawing and put it in the trash because he did not like it, and she took offense to it. On the same day, he spilled milk on his jeans and she says it's because of his restlessness. Once he touched another kid's lunch despite being asked a few times not to. He laughs when confronted for not following directions and she thinks it's because he is "trying to get a reaction".

We have tried counseling him at home, being gentle, being harsh, punishment (no TV/toys), but nothing seems to work and he is not making progress. The only things he has to say about his behavior are that "it's boring" and "please stop asking me". Oddly, he never has an issue going to school or getting ready for it. He goes to martial arts classes twice a week after school and he has had some trouble following directions there as well, but only as much as the other kids, and the classes are pretty late in the day at 5PM.

I have a feeling his teacher is trying to prepare us for an ADHD evaluation, but I am at a loss, and I bring up this question here because he is a totally different person at home. He focuses for 45 minutes at a time on things he enjoys. We actually have a hard time getting him out of his activities and on to meals, bath, or outings. He reads comics, colors, does 50-piece puzzles, does basic math, and builds tracks (he is pretty hyperlexic and has an incredible vocabulary for his age) . We think he is obedient and respectful and I find it hard to believe he does things to evoke reactions in his teacher.

I am wondering if the issue is with the school and it's just that he doesn't find it stimulating, or if he has a selective form of ADHD. If he has ADHD, what are his initial options? Are there behavioral therapy options or is it usually medication? We are open to being evaluated and want to see him make progress. I appreciate your inputs.

[Mamamichl]

Welcome! It is quite normal for a person with adhd to hyperfixate on a preferred activity and still have trouble focusing on non preferred activities. Schoolwork was one of my hyper fixations so I wasn’t diagnosed until 48yo.

Ask your doctor for a neuro psychological evaluation. It may take a while to get in, but they evaluate a lot of neurological conditions for kids. My kids doc didn’t want to do medications, so we went elsewhere. I’m a sped teacher so I know we’ve tried other options. Some families start with certain vitamins because adhd symptoms may become more prevalent when they are deficient, but others believe that’s just a bandaid.

Some families do ABA therapy, which is mainly for autism, but works with practicing certain behaviors that are expected with life.

With most doctors, stimulant meds are the first go to, because they work with most people. It has been found that the average person tries 4.2 medications before finding the right one. If you’re concerned of side effects, I recommend a gene sight test. Super easy (like a paternity test). It can be expensive if no insurance, and is only in America, but it’s been super beneficial for each of the people in my family.

If you want to research it more from their perspective and from a loved one perspective, watch these you tube channels and read their books (audiobooks read by the authors):

How to adhd (book by same name)

The holderness family (book is adhd is awesome)

Adhd_love (books are small talk and dirty laundry)

These books are totally engaging. Feel free to reach out with any other questions.

[FifthWheel]

Your son sounds like my son at five years old. He was almost kicked out of kindergarten. Fortunately, it was a small school and the teacher was willing to work with us. We put him on the Feingold diet. This diet removes all artificial ingredients and some natural ones also, He was a different child within two weeks! feingold.org/

[STEM_Dad]

Welcome to the community Neurosri !

You may also find this other community in this site helpful, since it is for parents of children with ADHD:

healthunlocked.com/adhd-par...

Your son's in-class behavior does sound like it could be ADHD, but it would be up to a professional to do a proper evaluation.

Pre-K and Kindergarten are a time when children learn what it's like to be in school. Some children don't adapt to it the way other kids do. My youngest two were in preschool back to back, and they both had some interesting disruptive behaviors that the teacher told me and their mom about. (Nothing too bad, but a bit troublesome, and they definitely stood apart from their peers.) - For the record, they are both preteens now, and both have mild ADHD symptoms that I notice, but they aren't diagnosed with it.

For children, at least, the diagnostic criteria asks if they exhibit the symptoms or behaviors in at least two different areas of life. You have shared about school, martial arts, and home. It appears that he does not act up much at home, definitely does at school, and apparently does some in martial arts. (At home, try looking at him from an outsider's perspective. You know him and his personality very well, you are accustomed to him and he is accustomed to the dynamics within the household. But if a stranger were to come into your house and monitor his behavior, what would they likely see?)

You also mentioned that your son is hyperlexic, that he has a large vocabulary for his age. Children who are ahead of their peers in some way or another, and for whom the classroom environment does not seem to be a good fit (does not seem to be engaging to them), might become very bored and are seeking to stimulate themselves in the way that the class is not. He may simply be a neurotypical child who is precocious or gifted.

• My own kids have all been hyperlexic, all reading adeptly before they were in Kindergarten. (All four of them also exhibit ADHD traits, in some way, shape or form. I'm convinced that they all have it, but their mom does not think so.)

There are also other conditions/disorders which can exhibit behavioral issues, bet it would require a mental health professional to be able to identify if it was one of those, ADHD, both, or none.