Hello, Im new here. Looking for support. Thank you.

[Ou2rme]

My whole life I always knew I was different than most people in many ways. I never seemed to quite fit in when socializing in groups weather it was in elementary school early on or at a place of employment throughout my life up to this point. I have always felt socially awkward and found it impossible to relate to others or engage in a conversation that would hold my interest for more than 3 minutes. I have always struggled academically in school and life in general. I find it very difficult to follow simple instruction because I will always over think things and come up with 3 or 4 different meanings as to what was asked of me.(legit) but, would seldom quite get it right unless it was explained differently to me or I was shown visually. I have always chosen friends who were safe to be with and far below my intellect because I felt there was no judgment there. The constant bombardment of noise and environmental overstimulation I have normalized throughout my life. Somehow I just assumed everyone was experiencing the same thing because that is all that I have ever known. My spinning, racing thoughts accompanied by servere anxiety and depression. I have always hidden what I have dealt with out of shame even from my wife through 30 years of marriage, until I couldn't. I started to rely heavily on alcohol to quiet my mind and take a temporary vacation from it all. After 10 years of self medicating and putting my wife and two children through hell,eventually my life and marriage fell apart. I have spent the last 2 years separated from my family. This separation tore me apart and made all my adhd symptoms 10 times worse. I was in constant torment, throwing up and not sleeping or eating. I went from weighing 220 lbs down to 170. I had even contemplated suicide at that point. Out of desperation I finally started doing my own extensive research and pretty much diagnosed myself. This was a huge moment of discovery for myself, and the start of new life with possibly and hope. I occasionally still experience some of the emotions of sadness and anger and mourn the fact I have lost so many years of my life and missed out on many great opportunities. Thing's would have been very different if I had been diagnosed early on. I am currently stable and being properly medicated for the first time in my life. I am back living with my family and moving forward every day. My hope is to get a better understanding of what other people are struggling with concerning this illness. It is important to me to know I am not alone in this struggle. I feel the need to be validated and understood, if this makes sense. Looking forward to hearing about others experiences and gaining some coping skills alone the way.

[Prairiefrontporch]

congratulations for doing the work to diagnose yourself and for then making changes for manage it for your family. Start fresh, try not worry about the past . You were reacting to something out of your knowledge and control . I became aware at 36. My life also could’ve been very different. I am now in a mission to conquer this, I want my daughters to have a better future than I did

[Prairiefrontporch]

one huge thing for me is to simplify everything. I got rid of 75% of my possessions & obligations. Big difference

[Mamamichl]

Hi. Thank you so much for sharing. I can totally relate to some of your experiences. I knew something was different for me too. I was always called cry baby in elementary school because of my rejection sensitivity dysphoria. My first marriage didnt work because both my ex and I have ADHD and we both lashed out and tried to change the other. I can’t hold a job, though I am a great student advocate and special education teacher. Had I been neurotypical (and still such a hard worker and smart), I would have gotten my Master’s with a grant and been making a ton of money by now.

What you said that truly hit home is losing the weight. When I am super stressed, I can’t eat, and smelling food makes me nauseous. Last summer I went homeless thanks to my undiagnosed parents who think mental health is fake, and they thought it was ok to abuse the ones they love. I went no contact, though I was homeless with my partner and children all summer. I had to fight just to cook for my family, though most nights I didn’t eat. The 60 pounds I gained over covid went away last summer because of this stress. My daughter has been in counseling since then, and I have started DBT, which has been a great help with living in the moment and working on the future without being depressed. It really does help to be medicated well, though it took me 5-6 different medications and dosages to find the right one. Getting a gene sight test also helped me weed out certain meds. I do hope you have gotten an official diagnosis so that you can move forward.

With an offficial diagnosis, you can ask for ADA accommodations through work to help you process information. It is quite beneficial. Hope this helps! Zen hugs 🫂

[Queen_of_Tara]

Thanks for sharing your story. That's not always easy and I appreciate knowing your struggles and how you have over come. I agree to simplify your life. Prioritize and simplify the decisions and the why's of your life. Figure those things out and day to day can be easier to live and most importantly, to sustain. Sustaining health, for me, is harder than working toward it. That journey is long and hard even in health. I'm glad you're at the point in your journey that you have support and self-knowledge!!

[Skwurl]

idk if you can say welcome when you've entered after the person you're welcoming but-

WELCOME! 😂

That moment of clarity is like a new beginning, you've taken a big step and now you are looking for a deeper understanding of this new version of you. That's brave! And you should be proud! To look back on opportunities missed is a disservice to your growth; it wasn't your time and maybe something better is on its way.

Just don't lose the faith. You're not alone.