Sadly, my story is far from unique. A late life diagnosis of ADHD (predominantly inattentive type) at age 56. I'm just 6 months on from diagnosis and life for the very first time is starting to make sense to me. I remember feeling 'different' at pre-school and throughout my life but explained it away through various life events and traumas (bullied age 6/parent divorce age 11/growing up gay in 70s/80s/bad relationships yada, yada yada). Perhaps all of these things played a part? they certainly shape a personality but ultimately also bring strength/resilience and empathy. But my recent confirmation/diagnosis of ADHD had been quietly revolutionary and life changing in putting a life in context.
I've been treated for depression for 30 years and can remember feeling an underlying sadness or melancholic feelings, even as a small child. A constant low mood has followed me for most of my life, interspersed with more life affecting episodes of clinical depression. The list of anti-depressants long...Imipramine, Fluoxetine, Paroxetine, Venlafaxine, Mirtazapine, Amitriptyline, Bupropion, Reboxetine. Some more effective than others and some I could tolerate for only a day or two. Many came with unwanted side effects. The most effective was Reboxetine, a selective noradrenaline reuptake inhibitor (NARI) but it came with probably the worst side effects - but it worked! Reboxetine apparently is an ineffective anti-depressant in many but it has an almost instant effect on lifting my mood. After some research, I discovered that it is sometimes prescribed off label for ADHD. More research ensued into ADHD and the more I read, the more I realised that I fit the profile, which led to my consultations and ultimately diagnosis. I now honestly believe that I was misdiagnosed with depression and treated with some pretty powerful meds unnecessarily. The label 'depressive' never sat well with me - I couldn't understand how despite doing all of the work and dealing with my past that I still lived with a cloud of sadness. I now take Methylphenidate for my ADHD and have not been depressed since. it's not a panacea. but life is a whole lot more productive and much calmer!
It is now with relief and not regret that I can now recognise my ADHD and see a life in hindsight - the patterns, the missed opportunities for intervention, the chaos, the poor decisions but also the resilience, the work arounds, the lessons learned, and the growth that comes from messing up and having to find new ways and rebuild! I certainly don't see my ADHD as a disability or even recognise it as a 'developmental disorder'. It's a quirk that means my brain works differently to many others but often sees the bigger picture that others miss (if only it could stay focussed, motivated and on track I could have changed the world! - ha ha!).
Yes, life could have been different if only etc etc... but all we have is now and the new understanding that I have and now with the right medication can shape my particular future in a more positive way.
I realise that everyone deals with diagnosis in their own unique way. Our own experience of ADHD and where we sit on a spectrum varies greatly but I'm personally grateful for now having the missing piece of the jigsaw and re-focusing the lens on my life. Where previously I may have felt feelings of shame or failure, I now see someone quite different. A survivor, who despite the odds had come out the other end unscathed and in a pretty good place (with some interesting stories to tell - perhaps there's a book in there somewhere!).
No Meds Work? A “death sentence” diagnosis. 
ADHD Diagnosis
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Late diagnosis
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