I spent my whole life trying to be neuro-typical when in all reality I had undiagnosed adhd the whole time. I had no idea I had it until my partner asked me if I had ever been tested three months ago when working from home made my symptoms worse. After working with my psychiatrist I got my official diagnosis, and took my first Adderall today and it was the first moment my head stopped buzzing, and I felt calm. I hadn’t ever experienced that before, and it was unsettling yet freeing at the same time.
When the medication wore off I was back to my old self. And it’s hard to not severely dislike that side of me.
For anyone who had a late diagnosis, how do you cope with that feeling of wanting to remove the adhd. I spent my whole life feeling like a lazy messy unmotivated failure and now I realize it was undiagnosed adhd.
I am continuing working with my therapist and psychiatrist to find the best path moving forward. I just would love some advice in the meantime. Not to mention I don’t know anyone who was diagnosed as an adult and feel like I am going through this whole life changing moment and can’t connect with anyone about it.