How Do You Navigate Imposter Syndrome and Self Doubt While Seeking an ADHD Diagnosis?

[MaderosMadeira]

I was diagnosed with autism and got an IEP as a child, but until this year I sincerely believed I had "grown out of it" by age 14 when I changed schools. I wasn't overtly weird by then, so the kids there didn't bully me. Now at 25 I am seeking an ADHD diagnosis and a second opinion/validation of my ASD diagnosis (probably level 1 under DSM-V).

I feel like I have swapped the imposter syndrome I felt when I believed I was just a failure of a "functional" and academically successful adult for doubts about whether I am Autistic, ADHD, both, or neither. Doing screeners, talking to family and friends, and learning from Dr. Russel Barkly, CHADD ect has helped, but I still worry. Also I forgot about the food on my bed, where my phone was, and that I was putting off using the bathroom for 2 hours while sitting here writing and rewriting this.

"I can be gregarious with people".... so what if sometimes I sit in the bathroom and rock myself while blasting pink noise when I get overstimulated by a noise or a stranger touching me... but everyone does that right? I used to grunt when I liked food, but now I just do a food dance when its really good and when I'm around people I trust, so I "grew out of it" right? Besides, I can control those behaviors when its socially important, so it doesn't count right? Unless I'm tired or lack an exit-strategy and then I have a meltdown, but everyone does that... right? My mom says alot of this is normal... but my family also strongly suspects she and my brother have undiagnosed ADHD.

I really want an objective truth on this stuff, but I worry thats not something any diagnosis can provide.

[FuzBuz]

I don't think diagnosis can provide objective truth unless you believe it can. If you already doubt your ASD diagnosis, would a second opinion affirming it make you believe? Or would you seek a third opinion? How many people need to affirm your own lived experiences before you believe them? And if they say you were misdiagnosed, would you believe them then?

I've struggled with doubt over my ASD and ADHD diagnoses, and I think most of that comes from having spent most of my life believing other people when they tell me who I am. Lazy, doesn't apply himself, sensitive, weird, trouble making friends, freak, awkward, and so on. The ASD diagnosis gave me some peace at first. It was my last resort in figuring out what was "wrong with me." But it's hard to undo years of people telling me that the way I am is due to a moral or character failing.

If your experiences are routinely invalidated, doubting your own reality is inevitable. It may be helpful to focus on what your truth is rather than searching for an objective, all-encompassing truth, because you're the only one who has to live your life. If you wait for objective truth to accept yourself, it'll never happen.