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How do I find proper care and an ADHD diagnosis?

Hopeful1989 profile image
13 Replies

About 3 years ago, I realized the problems I have had since I was a little girl, in school, socially, with my family, my memory, are likely due to undiagnosed ADHD. It could explain everything. This knowledge was comforting at first but then I came up against a new problem. I couldn't get anyone to believe me.

My mom was skeptical until just a few months ago when she sent me a YouTube video about adult ADHD with specific examples that fit my life. It took 3 years of me not backing down from my certainty about my diagnosis for my own mom to validate me.

But that wasn't the hardest part. I have been disbelieved by 2 nurse practitioners, my PCP and my mental health prescriber. My PCP gave me false information (she said there was no one in my town who could evaluate me) and then ignored my phone calls.

My mental health prescriber said, "They are going to put you in machines." Really. He was angry. I don't even begin to understand why he would be angry with me for asking for an evaluation for ADHD. Both responses shocked me, shook my self-confidence, and hurt me deeply.

I applied to become a patient of another doctor who specializes in ADHD but I get vague responses when I call and ask about the status of my application. It's been 3 weeks. I am so scared to trust another doctor but I know having a treatment plan will help me so much.

Has anyone else been through this? Do you have any advice regarding finding a doctor or dealing with rejection?

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Hopeful1989 profile image
Hopeful1989
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13 Replies
MemphisAdhd1988 profile image
MemphisAdhd1988

Thank you for sharing. I am amazed at how many of us feel the same way. Keep searching. Have you been on CHADD.org? It has a lot of information. Please read my bio to possibly see that you are not alone.

Hopeful1989 profile image
Hopeful1989 in reply to MemphisAdhd1988

Thank you for responding. I have felt very alone and hearing from you helps a lot. Thank you! 💙

Hopeful1989 profile image
Hopeful1989 in reply to Hopeful1989

By the way, I found CHADD.org just this morning.

Hi! I’ve always shown symptoms especially in high school but was labelled as “ bad behaved” and “depressed “. I only just got diagnosed this month. I’ve been round in circles trying to get a diagnosis for months because they thought I had other mental health issues! Just keep fighting for it and you’ll get there ,you’re so strong thanks for sharing your story.

Hopeful1989 profile image
Hopeful1989 in reply to

Thanks for your response! I can't understand why it is so difficult to get a healthcare professional in my corner. Today I bit the bullet and called all the psychiatrists and psychologists in my insurance network. Nada. I won't stop trying, though, and thanks for the encouragement. I think there are times in life when the only advocate we have is ourselves. It is important to believe in ourselves and fight for our health, even when it seems crazy that we'd have to. It can only make us stronger, right? Congrats on your diagnosis!

in reply to Hopeful1989

Good on you for still trying! I don’t get why it’s so hard to be diagnosed with something nowadays. My doctor kept saying to me “ why would you want to know if you have adhd?” I was like well because then I can get the help i need and understand myself better. Are you paying for private health care?. And thank you!

KarlaJo profile image
KarlaJo in reply to Hopeful1989

I was diagnosed by a neurologist.

MemphisAdhd1988 profile image
MemphisAdhd1988

A few other things - adhdonline.com/ You can pay $175 (I think) for to take their assessment. My current doc asked for a "test" so they could have one on file and said they would accept it. So, you could possibly take this test, then tell docs that you are just looking for a new person to prescribe meds. Does that make sense?

Rejection - have you heard of rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD). If not, google it with ADHD. It might answer some questions for you.

Hopeful1989 profile image
Hopeful1989 in reply to MemphisAdhd1988

Thank you! That is valuable information I so appreciate it. I have heard of rejection sensitivity and I know it's one of the things I deal with. Isn't it great when things have names though?

Phianoposis33 profile image
Phianoposis33

Why not try to get a neuropsych test done instead of going and asking "Am I ADHD"

Hard2ThinkofUserName profile image
Hard2ThinkofUserName in reply to Phianoposis33

New member here: I've been reading through comments and want to thank you for this idea, I think this is an efficient way of getting straight to an answer and what I was originally thinking the testing was actually like? I had a Psych assessment today and it didn't seem as relevant to ADHD with his round about questions as to how my brain actually functions - if this makes any sense ...

Hopeful1989 profile image
Hopeful1989

How do I do that? That sounds like a great idea.

DianaPrince64 profile image
DianaPrince64

Persist! Doctors hate when patients self-diagnose. Sometimes for good reasons, but sometimes out of arrogance or unwillingness to admit to not knowing what they don't know. It is especially true that doctors often don't listen to women when we tell them what we are experiencing in our own bodies. I have a good therapist, but she missed (and originally, dismissed when I suggested it) my ADHD. I'm 60 years old. There is so little training for adult ADHD in the current medical proffessions, and even less information on women with ADHD.

Add a woefully inadequate healthcare system, and it is very hard and time consuming, and expensive to find qualified care. I share your frustration. Support groups and coaches can be helpful until you find a doctor who listens to their patients. The struggle is real!🙃 Good luck.

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