Does this Forum truly help?

[Oncos]

Does this forum/chat room truly help? Because to me it sounds like everyone is asking questions and we are the same people who are attempting to answer when we have questions as well.

I joined this fo 2 years ago at a desperate time in my life seeking for help as do many. But only got a few comments and that was it. I realized there is no actual help here. Are there even therapists here?

I only come here twice or thrice a year to read stories of people going through the same thing as me or worse. I shake my head and log off.

All the good stuff seems to be behind a pay wall. ADHD can ruin your life so much that some people can't even keep a job hence are poor to pay for an actual support group.

[Otterly001]

I am also surprised that there aren't more support groups for ADHD. It's truly odd. I go to free support groups for type-2 narcolepsy (treatment is functionally the same as bad ADHD) on Heypeers--but there are no ADHD support groups there. I don't get it. The Heypeers group helped me understand treatment better, supported me when I tried something new and it failed, and plugged me into a very active network of non-profits and such that were doing research and advocacy. If I had the skills to run a peer support group I'd do it in a heartbeat. The need is obviously great.

[Gettingittogether in reply to Otterly001]

People with ADHD have trouble starting meetings, creating meetings. People with ADHD have trouble getting to meetings on time, or just remembering the meetings. To regularly attend a group, you have to plan and carve out time each week. You have to complete other tasks so that the group time is open.

The best support group network I've seen is through add.org ... It cost $60 a year. I know people often have limited resources, but $60 a year for access to a bunch of different groups ... that seems like a good deal to me.

Add.org runs about 20 online support groups for ADHD. There are people who join multiple groups.

I see people post here and don't get answers a good amount of the time. The reason I don't answer these folks is usually because the question has been asked and discussed in detail about 20 different times earlier. I know: who wants to do a search for the topic? But the reality is, if you use the search bar at the top of the page, you'll encounter all kinds of helpful tips, discussed multiple times, on pretty much every issue-question that newcomers pose.

[Rodster]

yes this place works. Why wouldn’t you want to get advice from other adhd people? What advice are you looking for that you don’t get here?

[El-Eektrified]

I think it does help, because the only people that understand ADHD are the ones living it… my psychiatrist knows everything about meds, but not what its like taking them. … if I want professional help, I’d see my psych and if I’m looking for support or can help someone through my experiences, that’s what I’m here for.

[Mamamichl]

It has helped me immensely. I feel validated and learn so much from reading comments. It is the first forum I don’t feel judged and that people truly want to help. It’s almost like a group therapy but it’s anonymous so we can actually share honestly. At the least, I don’t feel alone in this, but people here are so welcoming for me. I’ve been here less than 6 months and share whenever I can. Yes, we all have questions, but because we are all in this, we are able to use our experiences to help each other too.

[MaudQ]

I find it helpful because it’s peer to peer advice. I have been in therapy and I have a psychiatric prescriber but I don’t have a lot of people in my life who understand the specific day to day grind. But everyone is different, so what works for one person wouldn’t necessarily work for another. My personal life makes it very difficult for me to attend in person meetings, so an in person support group wouldn’t work for me. It’s really a matter of personality. As to your question about whether there are therapists on this board, I don’t think mental health professionals can give advice to people they haven’t met - or at least there’s probably a thicket of regulations and professional ethics considerations to contend with. I will say that, as someone with adhd, I have a hard time staying away from comments sections and online groups that annoy me 😊 When my kids were little there were online moms’ groups that drove me crazy, but I couldn’t stop scrolling. So I do feel your pain 💜

[WA_Mom]

Sometimes just having a place to vent helps! Knowing you’re not all alone helps. What is your part in this? What are your contributions? Maybe the conversation is missing your voice. You can help build this into the place you’d like it to be, and that’s amazing!

Yes, help is out there. You can find sliding fee scale therapists and groups. Start with your doctor and your health insurance company for a referral.

Asking for help is scary. Asking for low or no cost help is even scarier. The waitlists can be long. But if you get on the list, you will get there eventually and that’s better than never. Meantime, read books. Libraries are free and many books can be downloaded. Books got me started and that was in 1995. I’ve come a long long way. If I can do it, you can too! Chin up, have faith in yourself. You have value. Be kind to yourself.

[LifeIsLearning]

When I first joined this group I spent a lot of time here reading and giving in-depth replies. I felt validated and less alone which I think are HUGE especially at the start of ones journey. I was also very glad to help answer some questions, especially on the topic of diagnosis. There were several people whom I seek out their other posts and replies because I felt they had similar journeys as mine and wanted to see how they'd handled things.

One of the great difficulties though is that posts can be years old so it's often not pertinent to reply, or if you have a follow up question the person is often no longer active. Another problem is that sometimes I'd put WAYYYY too much time into a response and ask several follow up questions to help me know better how to respond and the people only occasionally answered, so I quit putting time into the long responses, and then quit putting time into reading.

Free help is hard to come by because we all need to make a living. I love the free podcast "I have ADHD with Kristen Carder" and benefited a lot from it! And then after about a year of listening to that I have chosen to pay for her coaching group, Focused. (which I have a discount link for if anyone wants it).

I'm in several Facebook groups for women and moms with ADHD and they are mostly posts about crisis, venting, needing validation, etc. They are useful at times (including when I need a dopamine hit for being helpful). ADDitude Magazine has some great webinars, but they are still relatively short to dig into a topic and produce sustained change. As far as I have found, the deep work, unfortunately, is either in a book (which few of us have the ability to persist with), or in paid groups.

[WA_Mom]

PS. I like ADDitude.com. They have helpful articles and webinars that are free.

[ArtsyBrain]

I was recently diagnosed with ADHD, at the age of 67, so all my life I was experiencing the symptoms, and related consequences, of ADHD, but had no "name" for it. As an artist, I thought I just had an "artistic personality" (thus, my username) and muddled through life, forgetting things, losing things, "daydreaming", having cognitive and communication problems like forgetting what I was saying or what I was going to say, and struggled with severely low self-esteem assuming others thought I was "ditsy" or downright "stupid." When I got the diagnosis a few months ago, it came as a great relief to me because I now have a name for it, I am receiving the proper treatment, and finally know I'm NOT stupid! So, if for no other reason, I like coming here and seeing others who are dealing with, or have dealt with, the same issues I have. It reminds me that I'm not alone in this. Sometimes, I learn something helpful, or might even be able to help someone else. Sometimes a doctor or psychologist will come on and contribute some valuable information, but forums are NOT the place to seek serious medical or psychiatric advice. In fact, most posters here will refer such individuals to the appropriate local professionals in those cases.

There may come a day when I too will tire of hearing the same topics discussed over and over. But that's the good thing about online forums; we are anonymous and free to come and go as we wish. Perhaps, if we're lucky, we may even make some good online friends. And that is priceless!