I so badly need therapy to help me narrow down goals and have accountability. My mind is all over. I take meds but it isn’t enough. I am currently home with my children both with ADHD LD anxiety and H.F. ASD. Life is so not fair. I have never been able to afford therapy even with health insurance. Now I don’t have a job and I need therapy so badly and I can’t even find a virtual support group we don’t even have CHADD in my town. The worst part about my 80 HD is that I can’t turn it off when I am doing something I am interested in even when there’s a deadline. Even when I have responsibilities. I feel so out of control of myself. It’s always been harder for me when I didn’t have a job. But I quit my job right before quarantine because I got burnt out. So whether I work or don’t work I guess it’s always bad. My husband says I need to find a job in order to pay for things. But right now my girls are homeschooling. We are waiting for them to be evaluated for autism so we can get them the funding to go to a special school. I’m a teacher by profession. But I am anxious about what teaching is these days both exciting and uncertain. I quit two jobs suddenly last year because my daughters were having problems in school I thought the second job would provide a better school for my daughter. It’s actually made me afraid to work again. I’ve always had some sort of job I’ve never gone this long without a job.I don’t understand why they don’t have any virtual support groups like with zoom or FaceTime or Google meet right now for people with ADHD. I would think with quarantine and no structure and uncertainty that many people with ADHD would be needing these things. And why are people that help those with ADHD so greedy and selfish? Who charges $400 for an online virtual support group? Even if I wanted to even if I thought of it was an investment I couldn’t afford to pay for this. My mother founded a CHADD support group in Tulsa when I was a child it’s still there. But I live in Oklahoma City there is no group here. The Tulsa support group is not doing any virtual groups. I can’t understand this. I don’t feel I could start one because I have enough on my plate anyway I don’t know. I’m the one that needs fixing. I probably couldn’t get any one to host I’ll be a moderator or the expert. These online groups are great I need more structure I have a tendency to go down the rabbit hole on social media. I research, I try different things, even prayer and timers etc.
Longing for therapy : I so badly need... - CHADD's Adult ADH...
Longing for therapy
Hello there,sorry to hear that you're struggling.Its horrible when you have these issues and you feel that there's no way out.First of all,I think everyone is brave when they come on any of these sites.So many of us are giving ourselves a real hard time when all we want is to fix our longstanding issues.You have got a lot on yer plate but maybe you need to get some wellbeing/ meditation in to calm the outside noises.Ive been thinking about it for a long time and if we maybe got ourselves into a better headspace,then maybe our coping mechanisms might be able to break some of the anxieties that we've all got.You could do these at home when you have 5 mins.I hope you get yourself into a better place and keep a lookout for some ADHD therapists close to hand.Maybe you could still contact an out of towner via zoom or summat similar.Good luck with everything,hope things begin to fall your way again.
Hi Jengirlmama!
I am right there with you dear! I too have found myself extra super scattered as of lately. I added betterhelp.com into my book of tools recently, its an online therapy app that I really really like... not sure if you've ever tried something like that. I used to attend a weekly group therapy session when I was feeling all over but since that's not an option at the moment I've been liking the better help therapists.. I have been journaling a bunch too.. Are you a journal person? Anyways.. I am here for you and you are DEF not alone =)
Hi Jengirlmama! There is a lot here that I can relate with. Fetching goals/responsibilities from the abstract, not being able to turn of my ADHD hyper-focus, feeling out of control at times, burnt out, anxiety, needing structure, rabbit holing, and even being in Tulsa where I live today. First, and jokingly, you should come back to Tulsa as its much better than OKC 😉! I wish I had the right words to change your perspective, but that's likely not the case, so here is my perspective.
From your post, I hear the frustration, despair, and uncertainty. However, I also I hear you are strong, dedicated, and loving, while seeking growth, answers, and solutions. To me, this is the right place to be in order to make the changes necessary. You have the need to change, and you have the drive too. I believe the first sentence in your post is of great value, its a great place to start. Now you just need to make simple small steps to realize that. Piggy backing on the other replies here, I start with mindfulness and a journal. Mindfulness to get in the right head-space for a few moments, and a journal to begin making the abstract more concrete. Knowing where you want to be is important. I know this isn't easy, I seem to find myself at this step with a pattern of recurrence. That's ok though. It takes time and effort to uncover ourselves, sifting through the waterfall of static that is our thoughts. As I better understand my desires, I work with diligence to hack my hyper-focus, hack my brain to dedicate interest to those desires. For me, this is about knowledge, about understanding myself and how I fit into existence. The more I understand about myself, I become more in control over my perceptions and subsequently my actions. This has led to a great reduction overall in anxiety, which has also allowed me to start structuring my life in perpetuation with consistency. I feel like once I can reach consistency in structure, then change becomes very transnational and certain, or bearable. When I do fail, I fall back to my journal, and seek reassurance. It reminds me where I am going, and just as important, it reminds me why!
We work so hard to build actionable or physical routines for structures of success, the stuff we try to manifest into reality. I'm starting to realize that my structured routines are not better managed through the prism of trying to control my actions, rather they begin with the right thought process, with understanding. When I have that understanding, I find that I am subconsciously making choices that lend to more structures of self control.
If you ever decide to start a chapter in OKC, let me know, I'll come visit! ✌... I hope you find some peace and get the help you are seeking. Good luck, and keep your head up!
Oof. Those are lots of big challenges you are facing and while my issues and life experience differs from yours the suffering, depression and feeling of helplessness is all too familiar. My heart is with yours.
While easier said than done, from an outside perspective, start with small steps. Right now for me my changes have been small. And I'm honestly thankful they are because I've been the one trying to fix all aspects of my life at once and what that has ended in is tears and worsening depression because I couldn't make it happen.
So, my lesson has been to start small. Start by getting a mood tracker and some means of starting a routine. I use Pixels as my mood tracker. It's free and simple to use. I started with just aiming to give an overall mood for the day. But, as an ADHDer I struggled to remember to log it. So, I set an alarm everyday at the same time to remind myself to log my mood.
Routines, I've learned are critical for ADHD minds. I started using the free app Brili. It was developed by parents of ADHD children to help them stay on task. And I have found that it is a godsend for me! You could find use for it for your kiddos and yourself.
I have always got the urge to go even further but I've put down a limit that I need to start here. Because ofcourse I will always overwhelm myself if I'm not careful.
The only other habit I'm trying to build right now beyond the 2 above is connecting with others like myself. For me, this forum is where I've started. And you already have taken that step as you're willing to bare your struggles to us. Good job! Here are some videos that have helped me.
There's so much more but I hope this helps. Just know that you are important, your emotions are valid, and you are not alone in your struggle.
I was using Trello on my computer for the longest time, then I started using the Sectograph app on my phone play.google.com/store/apps/... , which seems like a decent alternative to Brili if you're using an Android OS phone because Brili isn't available outside the Apple OS store.
Oh, I forgot to note that my watch is Android OS based but I haven't bothered trying any watch apps for this purpose, just Sectograph on my phone.
I have an android and brili is available on it. May have been a recent change.
Ooo, just downloaded Sectograph. That also looks like a helpful option.
Man, why couldn't I find apps like these before?! Lol
I couldn't find it in the Google Play store. I'd download it if you link us. I could use all the help I can get with these tools.
Hopefully this helps. I noticed you can't find it if you search directly on the google play store but I got the link from the brili website. So weird! play.google.com/store/apps/...
It's saying item not found when I go to their site and through Google Play store. I think you're right that they might have stopped supporting it. It looks cool at any rate!
That one will be a mystery to me. How did i get it on my phone? Lol
The theme I am getting is to work on a positive mindset and small goals and meditation / journaling. Did I have a positive mindset? No. Meditation, I have often use what my faith has a form of prayer where we meditate on Christ as we pray over and over. I am trying to use it while meditating how Christ’s life and miracles can transform me. He is resurrected, I can be resurrected etc. and doing it while trying to do small goals. I once used a journal, I have started using anylist with several categories to help me dump my mind and remember stuff I need to think about. I decided to do an end of day examination to look at what went wrong and what I can do better next time, come up with solutions instead of my habit going to bed saying well its the end of the day I need my rest, try again tomorrow.
Not what you're looking for?
You may also like...
Do you get therapy?
Combination therapy: Elvanse + Strattera
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
First therapy appointment ever.
Is anyone in an abusive marriage and know that your marriage expired a long time ago?
Embracing Ongoing Therapy or Seeking Independence?
Finally diagnosed, but finding actual treatment feels impossible.
My first psychiatrist did me dirty
My 12-yr old with ADHD and anxiety refuses to go (back) to therapy 
HERE TO HELP ALL DAY LONG 
