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Need to connect with Men Executives w/ADHD

FocusAndFlow profile image
9 Replies

I am a career-long C-level executive and I was recently diagnosed with adult ADHD. I cannot take medication, as I had disastrous results twice. It has been tough, but I have made a lot of progress over the last twelve or so months since my diagnosis. I'm white-knuckling it with prayer, diet, exercise, supplementation, sleep hygiene, meditation, behavioural tools, reading, researching, etc., but I need human contact->This specific kind. I can't do all of this on my own.

I refuse to let this condition continue to affect my life and I need at least one accountability buddy or two (men, preferably at least 45 years old) who have this same interest to help each other do better every day with themselves, God, their families and at work. Medicines do not help, doctors do not help, and neither do coaches. I am a life-long Roman Catholic.

Having a men's group is critical. We all need help and support, especially with difficult issues like this, but we are used to being the breadwinners and just getting out there, no matter what. I want to form a group where guys help other guys out and give each other encouragement by sharing our experience, strength and hope in dealing this this most insidious condition.

I hope this 'message in a bottle' of sorts is well received...

Sursum Corda.

Thank you.

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FocusAndFlow
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9 Replies
STEM_Dad profile image
STEM_Dad

Welcome to the forum!

I don't recall if we have any C-level executives here.

I do mid-level IT work, myself.

There was someone who posted a while ago asking for a 3rd person to join an accountability group. (When I find that post, I'll add a link to it.)

Besides this community, I'm also a member of the Men's ADHD Support Group on Facebook. I'm pretty sure that there are some men with ADHD who are C-level executives there. So, if you're a Facebook user, you might consider joining that group.

(Details about that group and how to join are available at mensadhdsupportgroup.org/ )

I grew up in the Roman Catholic Church. Then, early in adulthood my personal journey in my faith led me to become more of non-denominational / interdenominational Christian.

(I've been a congregant in various denominations, and I'm certain that I've seen evidence of God's presence at work in most of them, starting in my youth in the Roman Catholic Church.)

STEM_Dad profile image
STEM_Dad in reply toSTEM_Dad

FocusAndFlow

Here's a link to the post where someone made an invitation to join an accountability group.

healthunlocked.com/adult-ad...

FocusAndFlow profile image
FocusAndFlow in reply toSTEM_Dad

Thank you for your reply. I don't mean to sound elitist in any way, it's just that at the executive level, there is zero tolerance for this and the stigma is autimatic and absolute. I need to work on this in complete anynimity.

Thank you for the facebook group, though I am not on FB for social media restriction reasons, and employers these days look at that in depth, as well as other bots. I'm afraid I can't join that group.

I'll keep an eye out for your link to the third guy, but I'm happy to connect offline (even better) just to have scheduled stand-up calls, for example (15-20 mins, once or twice per week to share and keep each other going.

STEM_Dad profile image
STEM_Dad in reply toFocusAndFlow

Good luck.

Maybe I'm not a good fit for the C-suite, unless I start my own company.

I can understand checking if you employees are badmouthing the company or giving away sensitive company info ...but my own preference is to have openness and acceptance of people, and that goes for inclusivity of neurodiversity, as well. (But then again, I'm an idealist at heart, and most of the C-suite executives that I've known have had to be practical realists in their roles.)

FocusAndFlow profile image
FocusAndFlow in reply toSTEM_Dad

Sad but true. You're right. Maybe one of these days, but for now, I'm still operating in anonymity out of need to protect my livelihood and ability to get hired.

You're wrong here about people needing to hide their ADHD. I have a friend who is an executive coach and there are PLENTY of CEO'S with ADHD. Now, they don't immediately announce this when coming into a job. But they announce all of the (ADHD) symptoms--and they set up a support system of staff to offset their ADHD weaknesses.

The way these folks go about it is, they lead with their strengths and they emphasize their strengths. They say things like, I'm good with vision and with raising morale and cheering people on and coming with creative ideas. And when they get hired, the board knows exactly their skill set--their strengths and their weaknesses. And the board hires them because their strengths are what the company needs right now. Later, it's possible, the company may need a details person.

The CEO has to insist on an assistant or multiple assistants and office managers who know the CEO's exact strengths and weaknesses. And these assistants/secretaries/office managers take on a lot of the detail work and they prompt and remind the CEO to get to this meeting on time or to schedule this trip, or to review this particular item that needs attention. Also the ADHD CEO almost always will need a deputy who is a details person--assuming the company is large enough.

This arrangement can work when the CEO is clear about their strengths and gifts and announces these loudly. The trick here is to not try to do everything well. But to set up structures so you get help with the weak spots.

An ex girl friend of mine wasn't a CEO, but she was a high-ranking executive who could get very spacey and disheveled. Her office assistant would come into my ex's office and say you got a meeting in 20 minutes and here are the key points you need to talk about. And the office manager, also a woman, would prompt my ex to stand up and tuck her blouse into her skirt and comb her and all of that. She loved her assistant and recommended her highly for promotions.

So in this arrangement, you definitely have to treat the assistants well.

BTW: in companies with ADHD big-picture CEO's, EVERYBODY knows the CEO is the big picture person, the visionary, the salesman, the cheerleader, the big idea person and so on. And everybody paying attention knows that for the detailed logistical stuff, you go to the deputy or the vp or to the CEO's assistant.

Anyway, hiding your ADHD in my experience doesn't work.

Here are some quick stories of "out" ADHD executives and CEO's.

fastcompany.com/90264253/10...

sanespaces.com/2019/05/4-wa...

linkedin.com/pulse/adhd-ceo...

linkedin.com/pulse/adhd-sup...

additudemag.com/adhd-entrep...

forbes.com/sites/drnancydoy...

FocusAndFlow profile image
FocusAndFlow in reply toGettingittogether

Thank you, this is helpful. I'm a CFO, not a CEO, though. In Corporate Finance, there is no room for distraction or lack of attention to detail. Maybe its time for me to move up to CEO...

One day at a time. Some days, one hour, one minute at a time.

Well surely even in finance, there is a need for the big picture.

What are your strengths that you bring to the job? That's where you want to start. You have multiple and MAJOR strengths or you wouldn't have got anywhere close to CFO.

Identify them here. That's your start.

cfodive.com/news/for-cfos-a...

additudemag.com/dream-job-a...

FocusAndFlow profile image
FocusAndFlow in reply toGettingittogether

Thank you! I joined Health Unlocked just a couple of days ago and folks are sending me resources left and right that are proving quite helpful.

God bless you.

Reading, learning how to modulate my perceptions and finding better approaches every day.

Sursum Corda.

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