Does anyone have advice on how to cope living with ADHD and C-PTSD while not having any form of support?

[MoonMunch]

I was diagnosed when I was 6 and I just turned 24 years old as of yesterday, and have been raising my self since I was 16. I am finding it more and more difficult to navigate through life with the overlapping symptoms of both conditions without any kind of support system.

My parents and I don't speak much do to a complicated childhood, hence the c-PTSD, and that goes for my siblings too. There's five of us and most are half siblings.

So I have family, but unfortunately we all do our best avoid each other and move on.

I have been prescribed many different variations of meds to help with my ADHD. At one point I even had to start using PATCHES! But all failed because for some reason I had a very "aggressive" reaction to the medication and the doctors could not figure out why. I had violent outbursts and blackouts. I was always in a constant state of agitation and anger, and was very hostile until my dad decided to take me completely off of them when I was 12. I have stayed off since then trying to cope without it.

R.I.P to my working memory and executive function.

I have a hard time opening up and so therapy doesn't always work, and good friends are very hard to come by. I even seem to have trouble journaling.

I am in a chronic state of emotional chaos trying to manage my life without failure and also trying to heal past traumas that only seem to magnify my ADHD faults. Some days I feel like I'm making progress and on others feel like I just got knocked back 10 steps. I guess it hard to really see the difference when it's just you and it doesn't help to have a lot of self doubt.

How can I keep going without a hand to hold onto?

Advice and life experiences are welcome.

[New-Diagnosis]

Hi. Sorry things are so tough and lonely. A lot of us on here can relate and empathize with you. Have you tried looking for a support group? There are ADHD-specific groups through CHADD and NAMI has some too. MeetUp is another site to check out for support groups and fun gatherings. Or you could take a non-credit class or do volunteer work to meet other people.

It can take time to find the right therapist and feel comfortable with them. You explained your situation very well in your post.. Maybe you could write out your thoughts to bring to therapy vs having to spontaneously talk about your challenges. I also think it'd be worth talking to a prescriber as there are a lot of meds options. Meds can affect kids in different ways than an adult with a fully-matured brain, which happens around age 25.

I hope you find support soon. Let us know how it goes. Take care. ❤

[BeamBlue in reply to New-Diagnosis]

thank you for sharing your background. Things have not been easy for you, and for many od us with ADHD, making and keeping friends can be difficult. The other replies gave great ideas to try. I also agree that exploring medications again may help. There are some newer treatments and in general meds work differently for children vs adults. Keep looking for help. You deserve to have a good life.

[JazzElvis1]

happy to chat on a FaceTime! I turned to God at age 21 , I found him through the way he provided for us in Jesus Christ , who is alive , resurrected from the dead, after taking the sin of the world on him at the cross , he promises to be with anyone who turns to him, he says “ repent and believe “ the good news , a relationship with almighty God , and life eternal , but that he will come by his spirit and live in us. Make his home with us, never leave us and never forsake us, in his church ( which are those who truly believe) he led me to trust worthy people Who support and help ! Where he provides a family here on earth for us. It is the best decision I ever made. To follow him , to find him and be found by him, his love is like no earthly love , I’ve found security , I turn to him when in need, I walk with him through life , and all the adventures it brings , I share this because for me , it’s the best family and confidence I’ve found , lots love, and I’ve known much healing in him x

[smlawrence0413 in reply to JazzElvis1]

I want to echo and add on to @JazzElvis1. I understand religion can be a sensitive, and sometimes triggering concept. I personally was raised by undiagnosed parents with ADHD and CPTSD of their own in a Catholic, legalistic, performance-based setting. I was also recently excommunicated from a church, including my former husband, because my ADHD and CPTSD were written off as "bad behavior". Even though mankind rejected me, Jesus has not. My personal relationship with Him has remained in tact and continues to grow stronger. When everything else was stripped away this past year, He remained. People, who love Jesus for who He is and receive His unconditional love, will love you in the same way, not perfectly, but faithfully. I pray that you find this kind of community to support you.

From a very practical standpoint, learning to be still and breathe daily is game changing. Also, eating an ADHD friendly diet and getting some type of exercise daily helps tremendously. I am not sure if you are a male or female, but I just completed an excellent workbook called "A Radical Guide for Women with ADHD," which offered a fresh perspective and many practical exercises.

Remember, you are allowed to exist, you are not your faults, and you have legitimate needs. You can take one step forward, and 10 steps back, as long as you choose to keep moving forward. A friend once told me, "life is a wave, learn how to ride it." And I would add, and do not forget to have fun along the way. Seek ways to laugh daily.

Please feel free to reach out to me directly via message if you are comfortable with that. There is hope for you, even if it doesn't feel like it, friend. I promise, as someone who has done an intimate dance with hopelessness. <3

[FindingTheAnswers]

Hi. We have a lot in common. What you described reminded me a lot of my younger days. I wish I had a better answer for you. Like you, everything was a struggle and family was no help. As with you, they were a big part of what got me to such a bad place. If I was foolish enough to go to them about anything, I usually felt worse after trying to talk to them. A lot of Self-Help info will say to turn to family and friends when times get tough. Bad idea for me.

I did have 1 tremendous gift of good luck when I was around 26 (I need to remind myself that I have had some good luck in life). I changed jobs to get away from the job I had. I had planned to stay there about 6 months and then look for something for better pay. My Boss (Frank) at the new place turned out to be the Father and older Brother I never had. He had been in our place-he knew-he 'Got It.' He was the 1st person I ever trusted. That being said, how long did it take before I did trust him? If it wasn't for the number of hours we worked together, I probably would have never taken that risk-who wants to beat down once again?

I know this doesn't solve your situation, but I do hope you realize you are not truly alone. There are a lot more people like us in the world with experiences like we have (even more ironic, was that Frank was an immigrant-he didn't come the the US until he was 14). But they're hard to find. Both people have to drop their guard and be vulnerable-and for me, that's extremely uncomfortable, scary. Even thinking about it now is unpleasant.

Good thoughts and pryers to you. And even more of Hope.

[Endorphinella]

Sorry to hear about your struggles.

I had C-PTSD from age ~8-24 years old. I was dx'd with ADHD at age 41 years after years of struggling. Therapy without medication for ADHD was hell and took way long.

I wonder if your agitation and anger when you were young on meds was because you were still not able to create a safer environment? If your family was abusive, then anger would be sensible. So I wonder whether meds for ADHD as an adult (if you are currently safe) may work wonders for both the PTSD and ADHD?

Besides meds, maybe:

--EMDR

--Distress tolerance training

sunrisertc.com/distress-tol....

--Intense exercise

I find that exercise helps me the most.

And when people stay still, they have more negative thoughts and feelings. And people with trauma have *way more* of that at rest.

Best wishes,

E. Vroom!

[emiL1234]

Talking to a complete stranger is sometimes more helpful than therapy.