Learning about my ADHD

[Terrarian]

I am new here. I first sought help as I had started studying and after a year and a half I had only completed a half a years work and wanted to just find out why it is such a problem for me. I was officially diagnosed with ADHD in a public hospital and the psychiatrist had me begin taking 20mg of ritalin twice daily. The beginning was extremely eye opening an had me begin achieving simple and complex tasks that had before never been possible to complete or extremely difficult to complete. I quickly improved my grade average and though I still felt I could do better, I felt that if I continued the path that I was on I would learn how to do better. Fast forward to a few months ago, I began to start doubting my diagnoses despite some small changes, I find myself still not being competitive in completing things that I had hoped I would learn to complete. I, however, persevered and put my faith in the process and went to the hospital bi-monthly. The main questions I am asked are more on the lines of the physical affect of the medicine on my body and I am currently not receiving any emotionally or phycological support. Though I have been going through this for just less then two years, I feel that I have only just started understanding what is going on and have so much more to learn about me and how to deal with having ADHD. This brings us to today. l watched an episode of how to ADHD on youtube where she spoke to a ADHD counsellor Brett, and right from the start as he began sharing the beginning of his journey brought me to tears as he began describing something similar to the journey that I have been on, just knowing that I am not alone was such a wonderful feeling. Though I do not currently have the funds to start therapy other then the factory line doctors visits that get me my meds I know now that taking medicine is not enough and that I will, in the future seek help via coaching/therapy. If there is anyone that is going though this, and reading this helps you know that you are not alone or relates to this and has some advise to give me please do. I feel so alone and don't know of anything other then therapy that might help. Thank you for reading this and have a wonderful day.🙂

[Acpg25]

You are not alone. I'm new too and newly diagnosed. It's hard. For me, my hope is to learn and accept who I am and do what helps me feel like the best version of myself. I recently read this quote related to ADHD, "Fixing is for furniture. You don't have to change to have a fulfilled life."

[Jozlynn in reply to Acpg25]

Amen!

[ADDandMe]

Thank you for sharing your journey. You are definitely not alone 💕 It is so sad that only the symptoms of ADHD are being treated - and not your whole self. You are right to seek holistic support and understanding and the fact you are here posting and curious is a great sign.

For me, at just 2 months post-diagnosis, it’s all about learning and integrating this new information into my identity. I read in ‘ADHD for Women’ that we go through a grief cycle when we are given a life changing diagnosis (Shock, denial, anger, bargaining, depression reconstruction, acceptance). Everything we once knew or believed to be true is challenged. The ultimate end goal of this cycle is to move through these stages and reach acceptance.

Part of where I am is noticing the obstacles I have in organising my environment - that I thought were the same for everyone - and recognising that it is not my effort that is the issue - but my psychology. And in recognising this - I want to give myself the grace to stop persevering and summoning all of my energy towards completing that task - and instead employing different strategies like delegating and postponing and accepting that it doesn’t need to be perfect. Learning about my ADHD allows me to take a different angle - instead of pursing a goal to be organised -all the time- with all the belongings that I have, my goal is now to declutter and purge. Be more mindful of the amount of items I buy and add to my chaos and to understand that I sometimes prioritise organising to the point where I will neglect my wellbeing and relationships. This results in double dissatisfaction- one: with the task itself, and two: with the balance in my relationships.

I haven’t had coaching or counselling yet /or meds for that matter. I hope to get the latter in January. My psychologist said it’s important for me to use this time to process the diagnosis before starting meds. Did you get your meds soon after diagnosis or did you get time to come to terms with things first?

My only advice is to keep reaching out and connecting to establish your ADHD community. Keep striving to give yourself grace and acceptance. Focus on the wonderful aspects of the ADHD brain - creativity, spontaneity and originality. No two days are the same! Check out podcasts, Instagram pages and any local groups where you can connect in person. Think about the obstacles you experience and find a practical solution that supports you rather than creates extra work and pressure - eg. Lawn cutting - employ a school kid - or replace your grass with hard landscaping to get rid of the job. Ironing - only buy non-iron clothes from now on. I’m hoping to save up and bring in a professional organiser and declutterer eventually. Just find ways to calm the chaos and embrace what comes easily to you.

Keep posting. X

[Jozlynn in reply to ADDandMe]

Excellent words of counsel!

[Jozlynn]

Hi Terrarian! Welcome to the group! You'll find a lot of support and encouragement here. At least I have. It's helped me feel a lot less alone in this journey of coming to understand who I am, what I deal/struggle with, and what my actual strengths are.

I found that in the beginning, the meds made a truly life-changing difference. That being said, it wasn't like BAM! all my issues were explained and fixed. We have a LOT of preconceived ideas, habits, mindsets, etc., that we bring into this. Particularly if this diagnosis is late in life. We've spent decades believing one thing about ourselves, only to be told that who we are isn't who we thought we were. Getting out of those mindsets, in particular, is truly challenging. That's why a therapist and/or coach can really help you work through a lot of that. I've had both - therapy and coaching - and it has made a significant difference in the way I feel and the way I function. When you have someone viewing everything from the outside, they often have insights that we don't see because we're so caught up in the way we've always thought. I can't recommend getting one or the other enough. At first, I struggled to believe it was really helping - until I realized that it was just the discomfort of having a light shone on my bad habits, mindsets, and mentality about ADHD and I didn't like the discomfort. It's not particularly fun to have so many aspects of ourselves challenged, but if it comes down to staying the way things are or improving how to live and function with ADHD, I'll take the discomfort.

Wishing you all the best! Keep posting - we're here for you!

[Abagail]

I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was in second grade, and I started on Ritalin. and my dad said he saw a night and day difference with my home work , made Better grades ,as I got older I was put on Adderall. Adderall helped me a lot better. I am now 38 years old and I still feel that I fail miserably. I feel alone because no one understands it but they don’t have it so I’m constantly trying to keep up with everybody else and I can’t. And my advice would be to seek out ADHD groups. The groups, I am a part of her all online because Tulsa Oklahoma does not have any current active groups. That’s where I find my normality and sometimes the posts can be very funny and sometimes they can really hit a nerve and make me cry. I’m constantly trying to learn about my ADD and other things that come along with it like sensory issues ,anxiety stuff like that. I’m also a very tired individual so a lot of times my stimulants don’t help me and some doctors think I’m medicine seeking because I ask for higher dosages and I know there’s regulations on that however I’m not sure all of mine is the ADD. I think some of my symptoms might be something else. I’m not sure to how to label them and that sucks because I can’t understand what’s wrong with me. Don’t be afraid to ask questions to the right groups and doctors some days you’ll find some answers and some days you will not.

[Blue_186281_red]

I posted recently about my therapist not being very ADHD knowledgeable. I was expecting specific tools to manage ADD cuz my inability to meet goals is 75% of why I am not happy. But the therapist is totally focused on how I feel/coping with how I feel, not ADD which is CAUSING how I feel. When I ask her how to cope with ADD symptoms she says stuff like "try to be more mindful"

I'm sure you can get lucky and find a competent ADHD therapist, but responses to my post were mostly - Find a coach, which is not covered by insurance.