It's taken me a very long time to learn to do this, but it comes down to forcing myself to do something that will give me some completeness. Usually is some kind of housework, or go for a walk, or music. The struggle is real, and it doesn't get better fast or easily. Even though the meds help, I have to catch the wave so to speak, when meds and energy are kicking in, and throw myself into something. It's still hard.
I feel ya Choya526 . ❤ Your advice is great though; when I occupy myself with work or house chores I do feel better about myself, I guess sometimes we have to just do it lol.
Like you said "It's still hard." You're doing your best though. ❤
It's called 'addiction'. The 'need' for something.
With problematic addiction, 'recovery' is the main goal. Like most addictions, it starts with something small, and that leads to more and more, bigger and harder things.
As you admit to trying to impress, I would say you're becoming lonely.
I think you should write your behaviours down, keep an eye on them because if they get too much, they can and will spiral out of control. Before you know it you've got more problems.
Craving attention is something everyone does in different ways. Being comfortable with it is one thing, people giving it is another, and if you dont get the attention, you'll over react, and over try to seek what you feel you need. You'll find ways that work to get attention, and if they fail, you'll try bigger things. That's how accidents happen. You may start to blame people for not reacting the way you want, and lose relationships.
It's about balance, finding what works and sticking with that level. Over do it and things crash
I absolutely agree AuDHD3245 , I'm extremely concerned about my "dark side" and try to supress it because I frankly like to stay a decent person. It really is like a playing a game of basketball and desperately trying to get the ball through the hoop.
Yeah I'm definitely lonely lol; that's a tough road to go down for I do crave a friendships or at least one but I dislike myself to much to let anyone new get close to me. I carry a lot of guilt and shame for my past actions and even recurring actions.
I feel like self-sabotaging myself to avoid rejection ( definitely RSD ) or hatred.
I probably should journal more frequently haha. Despite me being a Libra balance is non-existent in my life lol.
Never regret anything you've done because of one point in time, it was exactly what you wanted to do. You can message me anytime you like. I see messaging as abit of a mask, so makes it easier
Nytol work for sleep. I take the one a night, 50mg, medicated type. I find focusing on relaxing, listen to your breathing, and focus on relaxing every part of your part, face, shoulder, neck, arms, body, legs, feet, toes, just become a dead weight. Literally pretend you're asleep.
Have a look into addiction, it's a massive range. Everyone's addicted to the same things. Food, water and air. Exercise does a strange thing to your body, it picks your mood up, increases dopamine and serotonin, but, tires it out because it's worked out. You can find the 'balance' in exercise, and it does it all for you, you just have to do the exercise lol
No, i'm dyslexic, and reading doesnt make sense to me. I read right to left, from the bottom up, then start and if I dont understand a word, that's it, the end. I forced myself to read once. Went through the pages, it wasnt making sense, but, carried on regardless, about 40 pages in I realised it wasnt making sense because as I flipped the page over, I was reading the page ont he right. Completely missing the page on the back of the page, I'd just read. It didnt even click that it wasnt taking long to turn the page lol
No, the book came up in my recommended list on Amazon, it's free if you've got Kindle unlimited, so, thought i'd spread the word
Oh boy I'm exactly the same; It's rare I can literally read a book properly. It's why I don't read often because it's such hard work, it's been like since I was a child lol.
There's a really good book though called "ADHD Love", it's written by Rox & Rich Pink (Rox has ADHD.)
They've recorded loads of TikToks and Youtube vids on ADHD; they're really informative.
Their book is not long and the words a nicely spaced out so it's easier to take in. Thought I mention in case you're interested. 👍
I have extreme difficulty concentrating when I read and I'm not sure why but I have discovered that listening to someone else read the book I want to study while I color helps me to concentrate for long enough to get good information and eventually work my way through the book.The coloring in the coloring book with my pencils and pens uses up the extra physical energy so I am able to sit still for at least a half an hour at a time.
Even though I'm choosing colors and trying to stay within the lines and make it attractive it's still mindless enough that I can give enough attention to the thing being read out loud to which I am listening.
I'm sure that other activities like latch hook rugging or crocheting or whatever will do the same thing.
there are a lot of things you can do to handle your chance for dopamine. Therapy is one. I’m in DBT and it helps me with acting impulsively. They have taught me many strategies and make me do a diary so that I practice the skills. There are other ways to get the high. Some people volunteer. I have an accountability partner and have a separate account that I use for my orders so it doesn’t affect my bills.
I'm curious about DBT and whether it's worth trying. I've been unsure if my therapist is right for me awhile but they've helped me realise that I most likely have ADHD, so won't be leaving them for now. I admit I've been relying to much on the possibilities that meds would make this fixed, which is obviously not true. I guess I'm trying to figure myself out as person and what brings me purpose and fulfilment.
hey oats, i think u already identified your problem and its solution!
develop productive, valuable, meaningful ways to spend your time. the specific activities will be unique to u personally. what gets one persons dopamine flowing might not even be interesting to another. also, with ADHD, our interest tend to change alot n thats okay too
it seems like u get your feel good dopamine from” attention” . that could be an indicator that u dont have enough friends n people who actually love enjoy you. do u have a best friend, do u have goals that u work towards, do u have hobbies that u reg engage in, that u consider to be a part of your identity?
for me, when im online shopping at midnight, my head overfull with all these new home decor ideas for HOURS, lol!!! in the AM, i know that im not getting enough human connection. essentially im trying to bypass putting in the work of maintaining or developing my actual social relationships n instead trying to purchase stuff like cookware to host with, n clothes to wear to events i dont want to put the energy into planning or going to, redecorating my living room to have a relaxing place to host dinner parties that i wont have, lol😂😂
I do definitely need to find more hobbies or activities to engage in. I guess I feel unfamiliar to myself as a person, I do enjoy drawing and after an extreme burn-out, I've slowly introduced it back into my life. I only engage in it when I actually want to rather than forcing myself to do it.
I'm passionate about music and never get sick of it , maybe I'll learn an instrument someday?
As for my "need" of attention is a complicated subject as I try to avoid it because I feel it brings out my toxic side.
Also I can relate when it comes to excitement over an idea and sometimes never going through with it. 😂
Thanks everyone for your compassion and advice, very much appreciate it. ❤
I waiting for an update of my referral for ADHD and it's been challenging but I shall remain patient, especially since I'm with an organisation that's quicker than the NHS.
I've gotta admit I was a little dramatic in my post haha. I've been busy today so no need to sulk.
Alright I've said enough. XD
Thank you all and have a great morning/afternoon/evening. ❤
I have to say that reaching out here is a way to feed that need for connection and it's very normal, I think, to want to impress people with your insights or writing etc. That's a big plus of making human connection.
Also. I was going to mention that I have a plan written down (that I created with my therapist) called a WRAP plan. Google the acronyms because I forgot. Basically it's has when things are going well...what are signs i am doing well like I am taking garbage out, showering, etc. Then, some red flags are when garbage is piling up, I've been late to work, etc. When things are bad and it's more than red flags, like I'm missing work, havnt cleaned myself or my place. And then for each one I have things to do. Like call therapist, call my sister, do 1 thing to clean. This is brief just as an example. Lots of examples online. Basically when you're down, it's hard to decide what to do first and even you don't want to do anything. The WRAP plan help take those decisions away. I follow the plan to get back on track. Doesn't make it easy but it's a helpful tool. Maybe it would help at your low points...
I've just saved the file and I'm really interested. I've somehow never heard of this or I've forgotten lol. Definitely something to practice at some point. 🤔
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