How do you manage?

[Jubmay]

1. How do you get motivation to get your works done without feeling stressed and overwhelmed.

2. How do you stop being procastinator

[Clayfox]

Those are surprisingly deep questions! While the answer isn't identical for everyone, it generally is an onion.- The outer layers are self-worth/perfectionism. If your reasons for doing things comes from meeting other people's expectations, you will never succeed. You cannot perfectly know what another person's expectations are, or how they will perceive your work. But making your own decisions, and defining your own success requires a sense of personal self-worth. You're allowed to make your own decisions because you decide what success looks like for you. It's common to think "if I just do what I want, I'll self-destruct. I won't care for those I care about, I'll quit my job and have no money, etc." But the thing is, you do care about the people and things that you care about, so decisions that come entirely from you won't be self-destructive, they'll be self-affirming. The ownership of decisions and belief in self-worth is actually really hard for many with ADHD because of how it undermines self-confidence. So therapy, ADHD books, and some serious reflection are needed here.

- It is only after those outer layers are peeled away that the overwhelm and most other issues can be addressed sustainably. The solution that's been working for us has been taking some time at the beginning of each day (10 minutes when you start, but less than a minute once it's practiced) to say "what am I choosing to focus on today and why?" This is helpful for a few reasons: the success is self-driven, the question sets the expectation that you can't and shouldn't try to do everything perfectly, and it gives you a chance to review all the projects you have going on each day so they don't get away from you (that's where a lot of the overwhelm comes from).

- Finally, procrastination is and will always be hard. Solutions will come and go. The best we've been able to do is to try to make friends with it. It feels better to not beat yourself up, and the self-flagellation doesn't decrease procrastination.

[Jubmay in reply to Clayfox]

Thanks for your reply.I'll try doing that

[Jubmay in reply to Clayfox]

And please do you have any reference to ADHD coping mechanism, CBT

[Clayfox]

This tab is always open on my phone: getselfhelp.co.uk/cbt.htm

[99cents]

There are a lot of apps for CBT. Most are journal like. But getting a counselor can help too. If you have little money, talk to a counselor about how to space sessions apart and get the most for your money? IDK. Counseling and CBT have been huge for me.