I've been struggling with ADD my whole life, I was diagnosed about 15 years ago. I'm 52 years old. I have been married for 32 years and I am very unhappy, I feel I have no support at home with anything. I have 3 sons, don't live with us, so it's just me, him and our pets. As with most ADDERS my house is a wreck. You know how it is piles of things that need to get done. The thing is not everything needs to be done by just me, such as doing the dishes, sweeping the floor, cleaning the bathroom, you get the point. I have gotten to the point if I want something done I just do it myself because asking him is useless. For example, I wanted some wires run through the wall to hook our TV up over our fireplace. What could have been accomplished in a day or two took me a couple weeks because I had to keep going up and down stairs. Or hanging a ceiling fan in my sons room, or I had an ironing board that goes in the wall between the studs, which sat in our garage for 3 years before I finally did it myself. It seems like anything that is important to me is less important than anything I want done.
He tries to make excuses like it's all my fault that our house is a mess. I will ask him to do something simple like make sure the sink is empty at night or take your bottles and put in the recycling, which I moved right by the door, all he has to do is open the door and throw them out there. And he still won't do it. He does suffer from depression and is on meds but he has taken it upon himself to cut back on what he is taking, plus I know he doesn't tell the doctor everything that is going on, I know he blames me for a lot of his problems, so of course the doctor only knows what he is telling him. He is a very private person and doesn't like anyone to know anything about him but it is driving me crazy. One, I'm not one to keep everything to myself, so by telling anyone my problems is not okay by his standards. He is the type of person everyone likes, "he's such a nice person". No one really knows what he is really like. He is not abusive, he don't yell at me, but he shows his emotions on his face and body language. During one of our counceling sessions we had years ago it was discussed how I could read his emotions better than him because he was taught to hide them when he was growing up. I struggle every day with my emotions, besides ADD I have depression, anxiety and bipolar. I know a lot of it is a result of his unacceptable of his problems. I can't tell him what to do, only he can make the decision to get the right type of help. I would love to go for counceling or therapy but we don't have the money to be able to afford it. We have had a significant income change in the past couple years, we both lost our jobs, his due to out governor cutting the funding for the film industry and all the jobs are literally gone and my job just ended. Unfortunately it happened at the same time. Neither one of us has any sort of degree, we have just always worked hard and did well for ourselves. But now if you don't have that paper that said you went to school, sorry I got off track.
I guess through bottom line is, do you have help and support at home and how do they help you. I feel so alone and everything is my responsibility and he feels like he has to work so he shouldn't have to do anything else. It's probably my fault because I have always did it, but I just can't keep going on like this.
Sorry for such a long post, it's like I start talking and I can't stop.