I think my meds are working. Now what?

[courtm187]

I'm finding this forum pretty helpful, so now I'm posting an update about my saga (refresher: diagnosed a month ago at age 33, only lasted 6 days on adderall because it made my depression worse, also on prozac for depression/anxiety)

my psychiatrist started me on dexedrine (5mg 2x/day, will switch to extended release next month if I'm sure I like it) and I feel everything I thought I was supposed to feel on adderall. Here's a basic list of what it felt like:

- watched an entire movie and actually paid attention, didn't need to be fidgeting/on my phone - and I'd even seen the movie before!

- don't feel like I need to take a nap every afternoon

- drove 24 hours CO-->NY and didn't lose my mind

- paid more attention during work meetings

- took time to drain, clean, and refill my inflatable kiddie pool and didn't hate it or feel rushed/impatient

- minor side effects: some trouble falling asleep the first few nights, dry mouth, suppressed appetite

- stalked a cute bathing suit online that I saw my friend wearing and I wanted, but did NOT buy it

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NOW WHAT?

Now that I feel like I've found a medication that I like (for now), and have been on it during "normal" workdays and been able to tell the difference, I'm kind of wondering.....what happens next? Will everything just fall into place? (obviously I'm in therapy....twice a week now!)

The night after I was diagnosed, I sat down an made a list of everything I thought would make me happy. The list was mostly about being able to perform executive functions:

- be able to keep my house tidy and organized

- be financially responsible and stop impulse spending

- take the time to make healthy food instead of only eating low-effort junk food

- have the energy to exercise, and not constantly feel like I need to take a nap

- be able to sit and work and actually do my job during the day, and pay attention

Theoretically, medication should improve ALL of these things. This are all executive functions I've struggled with my whole life, that I now understand are related to my ADHD. I'm having all these epiphany-type thoughts (especially because I've been on SSRIs for depression and am somehow still depressed) - maybe if I could just DO these things, I wouldn't be so depressed. And then I also would be healthier, more organized, have more money, be better at my job.....I mean if I follow that train of thought it's hard to think about anything in my life that wouldn't be amazing

I'm finding myself needing to not set too high expectations, as desperately as I want to magically fix all of these issues. I know that medication can't suddenly just make me better at my job, and neurotypical people deal with motivation and focus issues too.

I'm interested to hear from you what positive changes in your life you have noticed from ADHD treatment (both counseling AND medication)

[Pollyanna444]

you need support at home because we can't oversee all that and sooner or later we spin out

i wept for 3 days and literally had a breakdown...slowly coming back with my epifanies for 60 years...alcoholic...depression..addiction..me too just seeing my whole life and why I am the way I am...God bless us...I was just sub par..damanged goods...we are just mis understood...keep researching...I am taking adderall 8am & 8pm...this has been 10 days and I am sleeping for 1st time in forever...hang in there

[courtm187 in reply to Pollyanna444]

so sorry to hear all this, thank you for sharing! so glad you are finally able to get some sleep. I'm very curious to hear how adderall affects your addiction issues. My dad is undiagnosed/untreated ADHD (in my family's opinion) and has been a very severe alcoholic my whole life so I understand a bit about that

[Pollyanna444 in reply to courtm187]

The epiphanies keep revealing themselves...I was 16 yrs sober in AA..and drank..why?because aa isnt enough and ADHD is the CORE issue, not addiction..,That is a symptom...things keep not working..businesses..relationships...I see now that we dont manage big things well..we are visionaries but to manage books & people...have him watch this..I have more sources...I am researching and will not stop..I've have 10 drs. in 10 yrs. & each gives me something else til now... in those rooms we're told we are addicts with character defects ..treat that correctly..why would you want to drink? Yes I have the gene but i am repulsed by the small and I drank alcoholically for 25 yrs. watch Dr. Thomas E Brown youtube.com/watch?v=ouZrZa5...(Not working as expected?)

[MarylouD]

I have been able to maintain a clean house. I learned to cook. I am no longer a shopaholic. I get up and exercise every morning and I am able to concentrate on work.

[courtm187 in reply to MarylouD]

wow!! so there's hope! Does it feel sustainable? I.e. not so exhausting and emotionally draining like it feels without medication - previously, I could do all those things for a short time before falling off the wagon again

[MarylouD in reply to courtm187]

I won't lie, I do have my bad days, but they are few and far between.

[tiredofstruggling in reply to MarylouD]

I cried reading this. I hope that’s what it’s like for me. Appointment July 7 for evaluation.

[MarylouD in reply to tiredofstruggling]

I know that you can't see it or feel it right now, but there is hope, you're going to be okay.

[Pollyanna444]

youtube.com/watch?v=ouZrZa5...(Not working as expected?). great info!!