Hello. I am a 27 y.o. female and was recently diagnosed with ADHD - inattentive type. I have just started taking adderall to help cope with the systems.
I successfully completed my undergraduate degree without a problem. However, I have been fired from my past two jobs as a project manger / account executive because of my lack of attention to detail and was called a "liability." No matter how hard I try, I can't keep up. I mix up dates and times, I can't seem to remember what is discussed in person and it seems like I need to work so much harder than everyone else just to stay a float.
It's making me feel like i'll never be able to support myself and my self esteem is almost at zero. My parents say I've got so much going for me. College educated, no debt, athletic and decent-looking. However, I feel helpless and worthless. It's exhausting to try to keep up with every day.
Please help!!
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Daydreamer21
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I was fired from pretty much every job until I was 32, which is when i was diagnosed. After a lot of counseling, I realized that the 'regular' job world is something I just can't do. Doesn't matter that I've got a degree and experience, I just can't do a 'job'. I had to go to trade school to learn a manual field, and now after 5 years I finally have a part time job. The only way I've been able to support myself is by marrying well. My husband's job has allowed us to scrape by for most of the last 5 years, and now things are better. But there's really no way that I can work enough or do the 'right' work to support myself without him. It's a hard pill to swallow. I was always told that I had a lot going for me as well (at least in the education/ intelligence department), but none of that matters one whit because of adhd. So, I really hope your experience is different- finding a different part of your industry that suits your ability, finding a boss that 'gets it,' or finding the right medication mix that allows you to work through the more difficult symptoms can change everything. Barring that, for us, unfortunately- failure is always an option. I hope you find a better path than I did!
Simplicity, Streamline, Structure. These and other Life Management concepts have helped me the most. One of the best books I’ve read on ADD Life Management is ADD Friendly Ways to Organize Your Life by Kolberg & Nadeau
Thanks for the book recommendation. I will check that out. Managing a job and doing 40-50 hours a week is super exhausting for me. I wish I could get a job that was 6 hours a day, 5 days a week. I feel like the 8 hour day is just so draining.
You are not alone in how you feel. It is frustrating isn't it?
Maybe your dosage isn't the right mg.
I take Adderall and it took a
while to find what mg works
best for me, when to take it and also knowing when it is the most effective for me and choosing the task that is the hardest for me right when med is working, but i know you cant always do that with a job.
It is up to you on whether or not you wish to disclose your adhd to any employer. Sadly, many do not disclose due to fear, and rightly so as many employers are not educated on adhd. Some employers are willing to make accommodations for an employee with adhd.
It is heartbreaking to hear the word “liability.” I think its wonderful you got your undergraduate degree having inattentive adhd....not an easy thing to do.
Have you considered a different kind of job?
Also I think other things can play into cognitive impairment which then makes adhd symptoms flare....such has not enough sleep, stress, anxiety etc.
also....sorry my thoughts are all over the place on this...typical for me but how about recording meetings from your phone, or recording conversations at work that deal with dates and numbers etc.
The three things that help me mitigate impacts are medical support, escalation, and type of job. Medical support for meds and therapy is vital, I would include social connections and education related to ADHD. I have learned to escalate tasks that need same day resolve. Some times I get into trouble when I can't resolve a task in a day, I have a tendency to lose focus after the initial escalation. This supports your close relationships, you are addressing your support structures needs. Type of occupation is also important, we all remember the toddler toy with the square and round pegs, well the round peg didn't fit in that square hole. You might find that you are not in the right type of occupation. I guess it's kinda like learning to surf the wave, there's a zen aspect to dealing with ADHD. We are banged up from years of collisions.
Hi ! I am a pharmacist. And I am ashamed to admit that it is sooo hard for me to focus and pay attention to detail because of my undiagnosed ADHD. Reading all of your stories makes me feel like im not alone. But I have been fired form literally every job because of dumb things like forgetting to put in the right date for a vacation and getting a no call no show, or just being late to work all the time because I can't figure out time or forgetting to lock a controlled substance cabinet. IT sucks but I always end up finding another job.
What helps me now is really sitting down and thinking about what are the repeated tasks I need to do and then create a checklist and then follow that checklist until it becomes habit.
I think creating good habits and breaking bad habits are the key to ADHD success in the work place.
Mgandhi, you are most definitely not dumb. A pharmacist is a highly educated professional and is a respected position. It's not easy doing your job because of the many laws and regulations that surround dispensing medication. You should be proud of your accomplishment. Never feel like you are lacking because so many other professionals have ADHD as well. You will find that position that fits you and allows you some space and flexibility. Your talents are needed in society.
I also am an inattentive type and I’m writing to tell you this- I worked as an administrative assistant for over 20 years, then went back to school while working f/t to get my bachelors and master’s degrees. While some people are truly naturally organized, unlike music or artistic ability, this is something you can learn. The first step is to truly embrace and recognize that you process info differently and write down every single thing. I work from lists all the time and I’m very up front in telling people who ask me to do something as I see them in a hallway or away from my desk to please email or message me because I will have forgotten by the time I walk away. If it’s a manager and I can’t reasonably expect them to msg me and I don’t have a notepad with me, I set an alarm in my phone for 5-15 min from that point to remind me of the request. I do walk around with a notepad and pen most times specifically for this reason. I set up routines for the beginning of my day so I’m basically on autopilot when I get to work and at the end of my day I leave notes for myself for important things which need to be finished the following day. If I recall something at home later, I email my work email with a note. In old positions I would color code things (post it’s, folders) to help organize me as I assisted several different managers. I still find myself off task sometimes or picking up something new before the old thing is finished or at a good stopping point and when I do, I force myself to go back to the original task and complete it or get to an appropriate point. It takes discipline and it takes a plan. I set multiple alarms on my phone to remind me of things, calendar reminders, sometimes both. Of course you can’t fit a square peg in a round hole and if the job fit is bad, it’s bad. But if that’s not the case, you can do many things to help yourself. My boyfriend is also ADHD and the frustrating thing with him is he doesn’t make lists or write things down because he is stuck thinking “he shouldn’t have to”. I think of it like this - it isn’t like I have to walk hot coals or stick a needle in my eye or something awful, I simply have to make a list, keep good notes, calendar well and set alarms and reminders. I’m better situated for this with today’s technology that I ever have been at any point in history. At home, I often ask “Alexa” to remind me of things - how much easier can this get?? Lol. I was not diagnosed until I was 46 so I’ve lived with this my entire life (I’m 49 now). You CAN cope with this - thrive even - if you accept that you need to use a few different and a few more tools than the so called “normal” person. Want to hear the funny part - I get complimented all the time for being “so organized”. Lol. If they only knew, this is all an act of self defense against a scrambled brain!!
Hi, thank you for posting this. I am not college educated, but I can still relate to your feelings, so much. I feel worthless at my jobs, like all they do is put me to do jobs nobody else wants.
Oh my goodness, this so sounds like me. I cannot remember what is talked about in person. The intricate details elude me afterwards. I'm really not sure if its ethical but I have started recording meetings and transcribing them later but I always feel guilty that I'm recording. Ive tried telling people in the past but no one is really receptive to recording. Also, this additional work takes me more time. I'm not sure what to do about it either
Hi there I have Inattentive ADHD myself. I have four years of research on ADHD and I'm currently pursuing my PsyD. to become a clinical psychologist in order to help out the ADHD community.
Your issues and symptoms sound identical to mine before I started taking supplements. Stimulant medication only takes care of the neurotransmitters Dopamine and Norepinephrine, but this disregards the other neurotransmitters people with ADHD have low levels of. This is why you are still experiencing much of the inattentive symptoms. A good strategy plan when it comes to supplements and ADHD, should include aiming to help the brain with the specific neurotransmitters that give us the most trouble due to their low levels. The following neurotransmitters should be addressed.
Dopamine : A neurotransmitter in the brain that affects your levels of concentration, motivation, pleasure senses, and sense of pain.
Norepinephrine : A neurotransmitter and stress hormone that deals with attentiveness, emotions, impulse control, planning ahead, sleep, and interpreting actions of others.
Serotonin : A neurotransmitter that deals with mood regulation, sleep, nervousness, empathy, appetite, digestion, and sexual urges.
Acetylcholine : A neurotransmitter that deals with muscle contraction, pain responses, mood regulation, REM sleep, and coordination.
I would highly recommend the supplement, PS100, this supplement helps out tremendously with memory, recall, and speeds up thought processing. If you click my profile pic, it will take you to my profile, where in my bio you'll see theres a link of a google doc I made of every supplement I take that includes ones specifically to help those low neurotransmitters I mentioned above. It mentions what grocery stores and online stores (Amazon has all of these supplements a lot cheaper than markets like Sprouts and Whole Foods) sell these supplements, and some information about each of the supplements and how they help out people with ADHD, in case you're interested. I also have links to Inattentive ADHD videos I have made where I go into detail about the Inattentive subtype and the unique issues it brings, along with a book about Inattentive ADHD I published a year ago. Hope some of this helps.
Boy do I understand you. In the last nine months I have lost five jobs. Would replace them to meet my responsibilities than lose it. I struggle w concentration, focus in all aspects and without a dought, can not place my thoughts together correctly. From an articulate individual to a questioning bumbling mess. It has weighed on my self esteem, will it happen over and over again until I get the proper help? Dealing w relationships has always been a struggle for me. Not because we all have different opinions but how people speak at times. Yes relationships whether personal or professional, I have issues....maybe it's because they might not understand or just disregard my opinion in general...it could be different issues. Trust is another thing. I could to on and on..
As the mother of a young adult who struggles with ADD, I suggest finding an in-person support group. They can provide the support and recommendations that should help. I worked for a CEO who had attention definite, and when I was struggling with getting the support for my daughter I needed, he asked what was wrong and when I told him. He was said, "what's wrong with that?" They say I have ADD. He did have many of the same symptoms as my daughter. He made suggestions, recommended a book for me to read as a parent, and even though we no longer work together, when we touch base, and asks how my daughter is, and I share. He provides suggestions from his own experiences, as well as his son, and daughter, who are both severely ADD. A caring community is always helpful, And will reasurre you that there is nothing you are doing that can't be addressed. Although it doesn't mean it won't be without some hard work. Wishing you all the best!
I feel this. I haven't graduated yet but I knew this scenario ( this if i was able to finish college ) will happen to me and i developed depression anxiety
Oof, I'm kind of a year late to this discussion... although I wanted to add that I thought it was illegal for employers to discriminate based on those things... This is somewhat what I found looking into it on the web, "The Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) prohibits discrimination against people with disabilities and guarantees EQUAL OPPORTUNITIES for individuals with DISABILITIES in EMPLOYMENT, transportation, public accommodations, state and local government services, and telecommunications." (Sorry for shouting couldn't find a way to underline :)) Meaning can employers fire you when you have adhd for adhd reasons legally? Certainly I think the act applies to the interview process (supposed to, despite whether people actually do...) so if I'm understanding that right, shouldn't it cover and be applicable to the retention part of a job as well? I thought businesses and employers are supposed to make accommodations if needed so there aren't things like liability issues or harm to either party. Even though it's not my job to interpret law, like judicial courts do, I thought that's what it's implying.
This post reminds me of a non profit I came across called Lime connect that helps people with disabilities get jobs and find a good fit. (They offer scholarships too). And I think to help make that law more of a reality. They highlight that people with disabilities can offer something to the table to the workspace and connect them with potential employers, they also emphasis how people with disabilities can offer some positive unique perspectives and diversity, such as how people with adhd tend to be more creative.
I feel like in society we aren't actively taught these rights :/ maybe this will help this topic come to light, even if it's not 100% accurate, so we can all go searching and find the truth of things that will support us and our labor law rights. I wish us all luck on our career journey, finding what we love doing and being able to support ourselves amidst adhd.
Hello Daydreamer, I live in a third world country and doctors here are not so update on ADD treatment. I bought a book by Daniel Amen "Healing ADD" and Im following his recommendations. Exercises and dieting have helped a lot. The next step is to get some supplements.
I really recommend this guy as I see it, he really understand ADD. You can look him up online.
I am 28 and I hear you, I am the opposite though. I was diagnosed in June 2021, with ADHD- inattentive type. My school years were rough for me. Never can fully grasp the concept of what the students were learning no matter how hard I studied. I dropped out of high school, I finished by doing independent studies, one class at a time. I lose things all the time, and my organizational skills are nonexistent. I am in understudy and have been struggling with classes but now that I am on medicine, it has changed my world for the better. Have you spoken to your employer about having ADHD, maybe they will understand and possibly work something out with you? Sorry if I am no help but, if you need someone to vent to, I'm here.
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