I (think I) need a (different) Doctor...

[brocoli_420]

If you’d rather have a computer read this to you, than read the whole thing yourself... here you go.

soundcloud.com/pump_kin_pum...

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I'm 25,

I live in India (One of the holy grounds for bad mental health Care, purely due to negligence. )

& I recently discovered that I might have ADHD (Or am a dysfunctional INTP (or) I'm an INTJ with ADHD.)

Then I figured out I was Diagnosed By the time I was 10 years old. The report said my parents visited the doctor because they got complaints that I was being "very lazy, had a bad handwriting, was Inattentive and had horrible spellings."

The Report Said I have dyslexia & ADHD.

my Parents completely hid the fact from me. And according to what I have learned from the Internet. I got HORRIBLE care for my condition.

So I visited a psychiatrist a month back. And She's not taking my situation seriously.

She thinks only extreme Cases need coaching & Care.

And all I need was "medication & trying my best."

Basically, her Conclusion was "I'm just being lazy because I'm not Struggling enough." (i.e. losing Control And physically assaulting the people around me due to impulsivity.)

and according to her, my 128 I.Q. does not matter ( I know it actually doesn't in real life.... but it's a bit disheartening to see Stupid fks perform Better than me just cause they aren't handicapped.)

according to her, I should simply accept the fact that I have learning difficulties On top of ADHD (which doesn't matter according to her, because the first thing she said to my parents after I left the room was... "Adults don't have ADHD."), and she wants me to just, accept the fact I'm going to struggle to be average.

Because I got a U.G. degree in engineering She thinks I'm fine. Only I know Just how much I Struggled to barely Clear that. Even then, I took an extra year to get a degree. & she knows this. and She knows that experience Gave me Crippling depression, anxiety & mild PTSD.

so NO!

I DON'T CARE ABOUT MY LIMITATIONS.

I'm writing one of the toughest competitive exams in the country now. And...

I want to be the BEST, I want to be better than everyone who's On my track. or at least I want to try my best. ( Best = it's literally impossible to do any better, because my body would Start failing and my mental health would be at risk )

I feel like I need a Better Coach / medication / doctor / psychiatrist / psychologist / psychotherapist

To actually help me, reach my goals by

1) Putting Systems in place, to keep me organized.

2) prescribe proper eating & dietary habits.

3) regiment my day in a militaristic fashion for the most optimal use of time. (i.e. turn me into a productivity machine)

4) Guide me on how to organise my Study, Plan, and regiment my Study schedule.

5) monitor, analyze and Calibrate the efficacy of my Plan & progress.

6) Consistently push me to be better than yesterday's self and Better than Everyone around me.

7) Keep me @ a point of "Consistent-Growth-Oriented-Failure." ( i.e. I must always be failing, because I'm always trying to achieve things beyond my reach. and as a result, make progress at an "exponential rate")

8) track all aspects of my progress, failure, habits, behaviour, mindset, environment, performance, etc... Every. Minute. Aspect. that affects them (both positively & negatively). and help me manage & optimize then to ATTAIN PEAK PERFORMANCE.

9) (optional) Also help me be a better person.

***

How / Where Can I Get these???

[RollingThunder]

Well, brocoliI too have ADD and dyslexia and an IQ of 126! I have done very well for myself. I am satisfied with my career, family and lifestyle. I did not get Best in my engineering class but I did graduate from University with honors. I disagreed with your psychiatrist, IQ

has everything to do with having ADHD, People with high IQ function much better. LD’s are what they are but with ADHD You are able to work around the disabilities! I would say that you will do well in life if you lighten up your demand for perfection. There are a great deal of books, videos courses regarding ADHD on the internet. Pick out a expert and follow them until you find someone better. I like Kati Morton, Dr. Todd Grande, ADHD Mastery, Michael Sealy Meditation. Hugs 🤗

[brocoli_420 in reply to RollingThunder]

Thank You So much, for sharing this.

It feels great to know someone with similar conditions as mine, went on to become Successfull in life. 🙂

So, I plan on making another post asking the following question... but still...

what Books do You recommend I read?

And this Question is for You.

will it get better???

...

And finally, My mad hunger to be "successfull" comes from the expectations I have for myself. because at this point...

that's all I have. ( I have lived for 25 years and I have nothing to show for it, like I've Said, I barely managed to Get my degree even though I was the dude who tutored 3 of the 5 high acheivers.)

so, I don't think I'll be able to handle the disappointment if I lower the expectations I have for myself.

Or is there a way to do it???

P. S. thank You for Your time.

have a nice day 🤗

[LifesLesson in reply to brocoli_420]

i feel you..... im 30 in computer engineering and so many dumb people are breezing through it... but they put a test in front of me and i fail.... even though i know EXACTLY what im doing outside of a test. and i push myself to be the best because i know i can be.... but that added pressure makes it worse.... yet i know getting a job after school they will look at grades and it terrifies me they will ignore me because my grades are crap.... because homework and tests are so hard for me to do.

[LifesLesson in reply to LifesLesson]

example.... programming class....... the exams are a multiple choice weird test with tiny one string snipit things or hypotheticals.... almost 0's on them...... yet when i need to write the programs after that we have 3 due by end of the day.... perfect scores..... beautiful well written condenced fast programs..... yet i get like 60's because yah perfect programs.... aka THE COURSE!!! but the stupid paper test i fail.... shits wack.

[brocoli_420 in reply to LifesLesson]

Sorry for taking so long.Liver's been chayoltic...

I feel you Bro, I feel like I have the Exact same Problem. no matter how well I know the subject, when I sit in the exam hall. it all fliesaway.

.

I don't know IF this would work, but try,

1) Delebrate practice &

2) spaced Repetition.

there are a lot of Resources on to do that, But... you (WE) have to mess with them a little bit to mocke those work for us..

.

Good luck 🙂