I need to confide and vent :)

[LunaBean]

hi, since idk who to tell and so I figured maybe I can talk to you guys this is not ADHD related though. so last year I had a boyfriend. we met each other on November, and started dating on December. we do what every couples do, we cuddle, kiss, etc. but we don't have sex because I am from a conservative and I am saving myself for marriage, but we do make out here and there. so one day, we cuddled and I fell asleep, suddenly I was awoken with his hand down on my pants. I didn't do anything because I am scared. But I didn't confront him either because I'm scared if he will leave me (yes that was dumb). this happen multiple times and now I have broken up with him, but he didn't know that I know that he touched me. and up till now I feel like it's my fault that he touched me. I'm sorry that I am venting, but idk who to tell and I am scared if they will hate me. thank you for those who read this. please be careful out there, you cannot trust anyone

sorry for the broken English, it's my second language

[Hidden]

I’m sorry your boyfriend did that to you. I don’t like confrontation either. It freaks me out. And don’t worry about your English, it‘s pretty good. And I’m glad you found this group

[Shnookie]

Hi it’s Shnookie. Sorry 😐 U had to go thru this. Don’t be sorry 4 venting. This a supportive group. It’s better that U have got this off your chest. There R people including men who U can trust. This incident opened your eyes 👀 unfortunately to men who don’t know how to say no. U need time to heal from this

I’m here 4 U hugs 🤗 M

[bagenae]

wowwowwow, i am SO sorry that this boy doesn't understand bounderies, and his stupidity had to affect you.

let me, let you know that this is not okay.

sleep-sex/touching NEEDS TO BE AGREED ON IN ADVANCE, otherwise you can't possibly know if the sleeping person is fine with it. it can seriously damage your relationship to intimacy.

i'm SO proud of you for dumping him, and yes i would suggest that you talk to someone (prefferably a professional), it may seem small now, but things like these grow inside, if you don't let it out, because basically you diminish you own value by saying "it wasn't that bad" etc.

i hope that you're in a country that accepts concent and womens right to decide over their own bodies, otherwise i just need you to hold on, and KNOW that ANY touch that you haven't concented to, isn't okay - even if they didn't "mean to assault/rape you", they thought you "liked it", you were asleep, the touch isn't seemingly sexual and if you're told that you are "over reacting/potentially ruining his life over a "small" mistake" and so on.

here, have an internet hug

🖤

and lastly - i freaking can't get over the fact, that some people thinks it's okay to reach into the pants of an unconscious person.. sorry this happend to you

[LifesLesson]

sorry that this is something you had to endure. some people are just disgusting people who only think of themselves. It is good that you left him and did not stay in an unhealthy relationship out of fear of losing that person. ESP because in the end losing that person is better for you. It was by no means ur fault, never was or will be. If all he wanted was that kind of relationship, changing you was not the way. dont put it on urself, and yes i am a native english speaker but i grew up with flip phone txting so its kinda how i wright now. XD unless its literally a scientific paper.... then i still do it, but i have people edit it hahahah.

[c-mac]

That's awful, sister. And the guy -- he hoped to have a long term relationship with someone he was secretly abusing? What was going through his head? Good thing you got him out of your life now -- just think if you hadn't actually realized? It's best it happened the way it did, so you could take yourself out of the picture before you were married or something.

[Mini-S8]

Hi LunaBean.

Your English is great. It’s probably better than most people’s English in Manchester where I am in the UK 😛

I’m so sorry this happened. This is NOT your fault. Consent is a very sensitive subject and I am really glad you have found the strength to reach out and talk about it.

It is NOT okay for someone to touch you without your own consent. Sexual intimacy requires trust and consent from each/both partners. There is no shame on your side if someone else has broken this trust.

I’m so glad you have spoken up and if this is causing you any confusion or discomfort then please seek some help and talk to a close friend who you trust or a professional.

I have been “taken advantage of” many times in my youth (I’m 30 now) and I always felt huge shame and kept it to myself. I now understand that none of it was my fault and that it is NEVER okay for someone to cross that line without our full permission and clear consent.

Sending so much love and big hugs to you xx

[F_RN_Dx_at_39]

He did not have your consent, he knew you did not want to have sex with him, that was more sexual contact than you had consented to in the past and it may technically have been Rape. Either way, he took advantage of you and disrespected your explicit wishes. I'm sorry this happened to you.