for perfectionists

[Prairiefrontporch]

“if it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing poorly”

thought this might help those of us who cannot start a task because we know it won’t be perfect . Just do it. Do it half assed it’s better than nothing

[Colls47]

so true . never realised how much perfectionism is ruining me in every aspect . How I appear to family , how house looks, the job I hold , the way I come across , all has to be perfect . Think it’s my ASD Alongside my adhd that tells me I must be the perfect person society tells us we should be

[Prairiefrontporch in reply to Colls47]

Yes! I was thinking about how this relates to me in regards to cleaning my house. But I hadn’t thought about other the areas you mentioned. So true

[Colls47 in reply to Prairiefrontporch]

Really has . Unsure if this has always been my need to fit in with what society has led me to believe is a good alround person , or if it’s that I found out when younger that a way to avoid messing up is to do it all perfectly !! Looks , how everything looks , money , house etc . And now I can’t meet all that , hmm, feel failed . Feel it is to do with the need to be perfect .

[STEM_Dad]

Thanks for sharing this.

It seems synonymous with another phrase I've come across:

"Done is better than perfect."

[Prairiefrontporch in reply to STEM_Dad]

Yes! For me personally the word done would be a stumbling block. I’d probably define done as perfect .. but definitely same idea

[STEM_Dad in reply to Prairiefrontporch]

I see your point. I tend to think the same way. I'm realizing that "doing" (as in your original post, "If it's worth doing, it's worth doing poorly", has a different connotation to "done".

I'm trying to reset my expectations for myself. When I was back in school, even though I was a perfectionist, I knew that it was better to have SOMETHING to turn in, rather than not turning my homework in because it wasn't perfect.

[Prairiefrontporch in reply to STEM_Dad]

For sure. That’s great. I don’t think I ever realized this unfortunately. I hope I can remember it! I put a note with my cleaning supplies with this quote on it. Hopefully it works lol

[NotAChevy]

thank you! I needed to hear that today

[FocusAndFlow]

I hear you, but I'm trying to stay positive in all my sayings/phrases/slogans, etc., as I find that even phrasing things in a negative way chips away a tiny bit at my self-compassion and it runs the risk of putting me in a bad mood, and round and round we go. No thank you.

That said, I came up with a saying for myself to help address/reframe/circumvent my perfectionism, and I phrased it carefully to be a state of being, rather than an action statement - Not to get too perfectionistic about it.

See what I did there? Sorry, I couldn't help thrown a little ADHD/OCD joke in there. Moving on... A saying I repeat to myself several times per day now is:

"I am a content imperfectionist."

No such word exists, which is actually a plus in this instance. I cannot tell you how this has helped me here and there, day by day over the last year or so. It is infinitely better than striving to be a "happy perfectionist". That is the ultimate oxy-moron in my book.

I hope this helps.

Be well. Godspeed.

[Prairiefrontporch in reply to FocusAndFlow]

I love that, thank you!!

[DogKissesAreTheBest]

I’ve had to keep repeating this to myself at every turn! Yesterday, I started forming beds for a new yard. I ran a string line! You’d think I climbed Everest! But, for me, this is Everest. I didn’t finish yet and I kinda got it wrong, but I managed to get pretty close to right! And I’m proud.

String line

[Prairiefrontporch in reply to DogKissesAreTheBest]

That’s awesome!!

[Tigger4me]

Prairiefrontproch, Another saying I often have to say to myself is that "Perfection is the enemy of the good" as in those who feel good about themselves. Thanks.

[Prairiefrontporch in reply to Tigger4me]

I like that!