Newly diagnosed and struggling at work

[ATreeGrowsinHarlem]

Hi I'm new here and feeling encouraged to find this community in a moment of personal crisis. Working from home, with a kid doing online schooling, and a partner that has been out of town for the last 6 weeks supporting a fam member thru chemo. Work has always been a struggle for me - what I'm now understanding as ADD had made it super hard for me to perform consistently. My insecurities around that lead to low self esteem and avoidance, so my relationships with bosses and colleagues have also always suffered. Enter COVID and all the challenges listed above. I feel awful that I'm underperforming at work and I am a freelancer so more pressure around time put in and deliverables being met. I feel like I should quit or at least reduce my hours- even though I'm putting in the time over the course of the day, I have very little to show for it. How are other people navigating through these crazy times? Especially when it comes to work and communicating about performance with supervisors? I feel so lost.

[Tiggerakafidgity]

Hi ATree

Welcome

I also suffer from adhd.

Your under performing,is that you convincing your self ?

Or has your boss told you ?

With adhd it’s kinda difficult to keep ones opinions to ones self which can kinda get you in to trouble.

Adhd,yeh we are invincible,we can do long hours longer than any one else,trouble is we don’t know when to stop and usually burn out right when we need that extra gear.

Have you explained to your boss ?

Can you just have a little down time ease back a little

It’s probably your own self saying I’m under performing.

We are very critical of our selves especially when we compare our selves to some one we think is even greater.

What would be a great idea was if your under a mental health team is go ask for behavioural therapy.

This will help you to look at your self inside and see your actually a great person.i had a real problem of my self belief system but with lots of work and healing I’m on now.

I got diagnosed at 40 and it’s ten yrs on and Christ the work I’ve put in is amazing but it’s all helped me and I’m as positive as ever.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help.its there for a reason

Good luck

T

[ATreeGrowsinHarlem in reply to Tiggerakafidgity]

thanks for your reply Tiggerakafidgety! I have received the feedback from my boss that I was underperforming unfortunately, and was reassigned. With the pandemic and all that's happening I havent had that deep focus time that makes up for all the inattentive/ overwhelmed hours that are unproductive. I have a therapist who is occasionally helpful and a good psych that has prescribed me Strattera. Going to start on it next week so hopefully I'll get some relief.

[Shnookie in reply to ATreeGrowsinHarlem]

Hi 👋 I’m shnookie. Love ❤️ your hashtag. I take generic Strattera and it has worked for me to a certain extent.

I take 25 MG daily and was feeling a little unfocused. The issue with generic Strattera is that’s it is in a capsule so

obviously 🙄 can’t be broken up like a

pill. So my shrink upped my dosage to

50 mg a day taken in the morning. Took

my pills in morning and went to wor as a caregiver got elderly people who have

advanced dementia. I felt like I was bouncing off the walls. Don’t ask I somehow got thru my work day.

Obviously 🙄 went back down to my

25 MG. Can be challenging and with COVID even more so. Fortunately, I

have been taught CBT - cognitive behavior therapy and it helps me break things down. Good luck 👍🍀 with

the Strattera. I’m in your corner

Hugs 🤗 shnookie

[HarperValley in reply to Tiggerakafidgity]

Tiggerakafidgity,

I understand where you are. I was both undervaluing myself and performing badly. My job also had a large fiscal component, where misentering a number had big repersussions. I was also unaware that I had a math learning disability. I was doing a job that pushed all my weaknesses and my strengths were not valued. I have just left before being fired. This means I have not burned the organization and may be able to apply again, just in a different department. First time in my life and I am 42. But I already feel better about myself. I am doing low pay political survey calls from home. I am working through some trauma, simplifying my life and finding my path to a new career.

Hang in there. It is tough, but you will get through if you think you can.

[F_RN_Dx_at_39]

I was also reassigned for underperforming and start my new position on Monday. I'm really grateful that my supervisor was thought enough to move me to an area that she thinks I'll do better in. She could also see that I was trying really hard while also being bullied/harassed by my peers because I take more time to do my job than my peers, even after 1 year in my position.

All of my coworkers with kids are really struggling right now, as is my girlfriend working from home.I can't imagine how hard it's going to be being in your position. It probably would be good to talk with your boss to see if you can do something like modify your hours until you're ready to return to your regular shift, which could be in a couple months or a couple yearssince we don't know how this whole COVID thing is going to play out.

Best wishes to you.