Hi, I am 43. I have never posted before,I have always hid personal issues and tried to just go with the flow. I’m married (19 years)and have 3 teenage children. Too say my relationship has been a roller coaster is an understatement. I was “officially” diagnosed about 3 years ago, which has been challenging with self doubt, denial and a non-adhd spouse who hates “excuses”. So, you can only imagine the amount of broken promises, mistrust, hurt and blame that has happened. Our issues started early in our marriage, for me it always seemed to be about money and trying to provide for my growing and not ever having enough which in turn let to stress, being overwhelmed, emotionally shutting down, frustration and anger. As you could probably guess these are still all happening. So the years have had ups and downs. My spouse has always been able to express herself, where I have always been afraid, so the amount of miss communication or no communication, being talked at, talked down to and told “it’s your fault...” is a lot which has lead to frustration and anger. Long story, my spouse is hurt, angry and bitter, rightfully so. A few years of bouncing around Therapys, TMS, different medications and not researching adhd with no success, I am told that all I need is to get to the root of my issues which is causing my “anger” and threats of “divorce”(which infuriates me) and if you really loved me you would let me go be happy. All I ever wanted to do/be is happy and provide for my family which isn’t really the case I guess. I want to try to keep my family together and when I mention maybe my adhd has been big part of the issue. It get blown off as an excuse.
Not really sure what my point was just need to ramble and let some of these feelings out. Thank you.