Do you all prefer a coach or counselor when navigating changes or ADHD burnout?

[GrowthMind]

I've been trying to decide which path might make sense. I personally have had a lot of luck with counselors but not as many have had training around ADHD specifically. I'm looking into coaching, and I'm curious if that will be a good option. I also don't have as much experience with it, but do like that it is goal oriented. I would love to hear others experiences, and/or thoughts.

[BLC89]

Hello GrowthMind,

Full disclosure I am an ADHD coach and here's my take.

I used talk therapy for many years in my early twenties and it was helpful. As I have grown and learned more about different wiring what I learned is that talking through past events can be very therapeutic the first time or two.

My issue with therapy is that they generally, in my experience and that of friends, don't ask for action or focus on a measurable outcomes. Often times therapy focuses on how you got here, the underlying experiences that lead to this or that coping mechanism.

After the initial walk through of events from the past it seems to just get rehashed over and over. "How do you supposed this reaction ties back to your past experience of X" the past is brought forward to evaluate the present. Again, my take on it.

Coaching is more taking what you have now and moving forward. It is goal oriented, as you mentioned, and holds you accountable. You look at the tools in your tool box and decide which are still useful and add what is needed.

The other area of focus for coaching, as I was taught, is to focus on thought patterns and adjusting those. Many coaches have you think about your thinking. This can sometimes take you to past experiences to understand the origin but it usually, again, looks at the here and now and what to do with the current thoughts. How to make adjustments to your thought patterns to reach your goals.

And as a coach, personally, I want to work myself out of a job. I want to give clients tools so they can continue on their journey effectively without me. I haven't found that to be the case with most therapists.

All that said, for ADHDers coaching has been found to be very effective. But so has Cognitive Behavioral Therapy because it focuses on thinking about your thinking and making adjustments to thought patterns.

So I think either can work and be effective. You do need someone who is trained in ADHD so they can approach your situation with a general understanding of how your brain works.

Find the ADHD trained expert that your gut feels is best for you. That is my unsolicited advice. You gut is extremely wise and when you have a good connection you will be propelled forward faster than you thought possible.

Good luck in your search for the support you so deserve.

BLC89

[GrowthMind in reply to BLC89]

Thanks so much for your detailed and thoughtful response.

[Mamamichl]

I chose not to go the coach route because I can’t afford it. I really do like my DMT counselor.i found my regular counselor after googling for 4 hours. All providers need a synopsis page and where their strengths are. It was great help.

[GrowthMind in reply to Mamamichl]

Wonderful! Glad you found the right support. Thanks for sharing.

[Iwanttobenormal]

For me, counselors have never worked for me . I don't think it's the best match for me. I have tried more than 20 and I always end up bored confuse discouraged dissapointed. Speaking about me, doesn't help because I do not know myself . I have never tried a coach . Do you think it will be a better match for me?

[BLC89 in reply to Iwanttobenormal]

Iwanttobenormal,

It is possible that a coach is a better fit. I am wondering if any of the past attempts were with folks who specialize in ADHD? It makes a huge difference in what tools they use and offer to you. Being bored is likely because they aren't really sharing anything new or useful. Discouraged and disappointed could be by trying tools that work for neuro-typicals that aren't suited or effective for those with ADHD.

Keep learning, you are creative and will find things that work for you even if they don't work for anybody else.

[GrowthMind in reply to Iwanttobenormal]

Sorry to hear that. I hope you find what supports you. I'm curious about whether a specialized ADHD coach may be good for adult ADHDers with the goals approach and knowledge base. I'll keep you posted if I go that route.

[Iwanttobenormal in reply to GrowthMind]

🙏🙏

[Queen_of_Tara]

I have a long time therapist for depression and anxiety but since diagnosed with adhd we talk about a lot of that too. I also use coaches I've found on meetup.com one is for body doubling/accountability sessions another is for talking through adhd issues.

[GrowthMind in reply to Queen_of_Tara]

Yes, that can be so helpful for me too. Thanks for sharing.

[1_21gigawatts]

I ask myself the same. I have just about reached the end of my rope with "therapists" who once heard of ADHD and now consider (and advertise themselves) experts. The problem is that insurance (Medicare for me) doesn't cover coaches, and the get real expensive real fast.

[GrowthMind in reply to 1_21gigawatts]

Ugh this is such a problem. I know a few of these as well. Thanks for sharing. I hear you on the cost aspect, something I'm thinking about too.

[Queen_of_Tara in reply to 1_21gigawatts]

Check meetup.com for free resources. Search adhd or add, coaching, body doubling. I found a couple online that do sessions in a group online video chat. We all get on the video and take turns talking about challenges, guided by a coach. or in another group for body doubling also run by a coach, we share what we want to accomplish in the following hour, we mute ourselves but stay on camera and then check in at the end of the hour.

[Gettingittogether]

Both!