I'm new here. I am currently a grad student studying Public Health, and was diagnosed with ADHD about 6 months ago.
As part of my program I am completing a summer internship. I have been finding it VERY difficult to focus at work, primarily because I have a complex project that has no firm deadlines or structure. It is a 9-5 job where I am stuck in a cubicle all day with little to no social interaction.
I feel overwhelmed, anxious, and inadequate in my work- constantly feeling like I don't have what it takes to succeed. It has really taken a toll on my self-esteem, and my depression has re-surfaced in the past month since starting. Does anyone have a similar experience to share, or any suggestions?
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lanky_giraffe
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6 Replies
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Hi Lankey Giraffe!
I had similar experience about 18 months ago. I was undiagnosed at the time but the job I was doing sounds very similar to the situation you are in. It certainly felt isolating and the complexity of the job I was doing propagated a real sense of overwhelming stress. I would go to sleep at night and run through the days work and tomorrow’s work in a disjointed and stressful way.
The way I broke the cycle was by making the smallest changes each day. To someone who doesn’t know what it feels like to be in that headspace these tiny changes would be described as insignificant. It will be different to everyone but the first thing I did was ask to talk to my supervisor. I didn’t make a big deal of it I simply asked for an informal chat. I didn’t just divulge every thing that was going on I simply made them aware that for the next month my work pattern would change and that I needed to take some time for self care.
I sat down one evening and made a really simple analysis of what the exact problems were. Not in the grand scheme of things but simple annoyances and stress triggers. I then next to each one came up with a solution. For example I enjoy swimming. I would work until I was exhausted and stressed and then go home get a take out and aimlessly watch tv. So I told my boss and supportive colleague at work to tap me on the shoulder a little before the end of the planned days work and say ‘go!!!’ I found the accountability of a plan and help from others just what I needed. In the mean time I also went to the Doctor just to check in and see if I needed help. When it comes to the whisper in the back of the mind saying ‘ I can’t do this’ or ‘ I won’t succeed’ then acknowledge that this is a falsehood. I found ( and I hated it with a passion to start with) positive affirmations, personal to yourself and your present experience a big help. I’d wake up and say aloud the affirmation, during the day I’d go to the car and say them out loud with passion. I felt like a right idiot but after a while I noticed the difference. More than anything just the fact you’ve reached out to this community shows that you’re not alone, go have a look at others posts and see if you can help? I’m absolutely sure you can. You have experience and fortitude that others are in need of. Give yourself a break, be compassionate to yourself and above all know that things pass but with the smallest actions. And when in doubt go help someone. It’s the mainline to better self-esteem. All the best and thank you for the post.
One last thing. Actually two last things. My reply sounds like a self help book summary. Do what feels right for you and keep it simple. Second Lankey Giraffe is an excellent user name! Hope you feel better soon keep posting and talking! Cheers
Dear Hidden , thank you very much for sharing your insight and experiences- it was extremely helpful to hear. I often forget there are other ADHD'ers are out there struggling just like me.
I set up a time to meet with my supervisor next week so I can have a similar conversation- I absolutely love the idea of taking a break in between to squeeze in self-care. As for positive affirmations, I'd like to give those a try. Are there any specific words or phrases you use? I was thinking of writing them on notecards and just placing them around my apartment/in my car etc. Is this what you've done?
Here are some examples but make them personal to you. Make them subjective. The more individual you make them the better they can be. I also put affirmations into the first person. But also with all the positivity and self esteem enhancing techniques sometimes it’s ok to feel bad. It’s ok to struggle at times. No ones perfect so if you’re going to beat yourself up do it with a feather not a baseball bat!
Hey Lankey Giraffe!
I just wanted to say that I hope you’ve had a better few days?
I started in a new job 6 months ago where I had a lot of self doubt and anxiety. My doc upped my ADHD meds & my anxiety meds, that helped in a big way. I had no choice but to plough ahead and keep working at it - I got better over time & began to feel less stressed. Helped myself by making my life outside work as satisfying as possible. You can do it! It’s only temporary - summer is over soon!
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