PTSD AND ADHD AND BEING BROUGHT UP BY A borderline personality disorder parent

[Freedomforme]

So i think I have adhd in adulthood, it makes sense but I also have explosive anger when I am triggered by something that feels like an event that happened to me before such as my physically abusive ex husband , i now react like this with my new partner who is driving me crazy one minute but he is delightful the next.

I feel like my anger leads to lashing out too and all i want to do is stop it somehow, and dont know what to do.

I have 3 children and im fine with them but I can get snappy or have low patience for them.

I have endured a lot of trauma an just as life is getting better it seems as though I am sabotaging it all due to my fears and insecurities.

i feel my adhd partner CANNOt be sentitive enough for me about certain things, I was cheated on really badly by a mailgnant narcissist who i was with for 8 years and was only 19 years old.

I obviously now seem to have betrayal trauma and trust issues no matter how much im okay one day , another day I am having problems

is there anyone else suffering this? what method of therapy helped you ?

Ive tried RTT, EFT, Normal counselling, healing the inner child and trauma edmr one session ( not the eye thing just speaking to a trauma coach)

I am still having outbursts of anger and all I want is to stop it

anyone help me ?

of course I am also reaching out to God to help me too

[Hidden]

Hi. I want to take a second first to celebrate you. You have survived a lot of trauma and here you are asking for help. That takes a tremondous amount of courage! Bravo to you.

I am an ADHD coach but not equipped to help with PTSD. I think Cognitive Behavioral Therapy(CBT) has had success with both ADHD and PTSD. No matter what type of therapy you settle on, you should look for a therapist that specializes in both ADHD and PTSD.

Here is a great article from ADDitude that talks about the relationship between the two.

additudemag.com/ptsd-sympto...

Good luck with finding the right kind of support to help you work thru your trauma.

[Freedomforme in reply to Hidden]

Thank you very much that is very kind.

I realised that I might have complex PTSD and plus PMDD as well its terrible and I understand it all stems from the inner child , I have to reparent the inner child and to do that I must find a coach for that too,

adhd coach that great

I might need to refer my partner maybe ex soon to you,.

[Hidden in reply to Freedomforme]

It sounds like you are getting clearer on what you need. That's great! Knowing that will help you get the help you need so you can move forward. If you want, I can ask my ADHD coach buddies for recommendations for coaches that specialize in PTSD and ADHD. I don't know much about PMDD but could add that too. Let me know...

I hope you and your partner figure out the kind of relationship you both need. And thanks for thinking of referring me to your current partner. I love referrals and would be happy to have a free exploratory call.

[GatsbyCat]

Hello,

Congratulations on recognizing your various symptoms.

Wow! You have been through a lot of ***** And, I should mention that we have a great deal in common.

My mother was a bi-polar person and had manic episodes. She was also very smart, and finally say a psychiatrist and got medication. Unfortunately, as my dad said "They fried her brain." This was before medical breakthroughs and better treatment for BiPolar. On top of that, she's also very narcissistic. Think of a closet bursting for her, and neither of her children having much to wear. As a teenager, I was so jealous.

Then, of course, my dad most likely had ADHD along with anger management issues. Being spanked as a girl, up until age 14. Not cool.

So, I saw abuse as okay in my life, having grown up with it. Fast forward to first serious relationship age 20 which turned into domestic violence. No children, thank goodness. Finally got up my courage to leave him - years later.

Now, I'm in a relationship with a really great man. But it's very hard for him with all of my issues. He's a very patient guy, which is what i need. Books help, Cognitive Behavior therapy helps, and going to a Domestic Violence Support Group (that was the best, because you can talk honestly about what happened and the other people understand)

I used to have quite a temper when I was younger too. One thing I have learned to do that helps me now, is to take a breath and count to 10. Do not respond to everything with an immediate outburst of anger. It's not helpful to anyone- including yourself. Think of how you want to be treated as well- do you want some angry person shrieking at you? Probably not. If you need to write down a script for a conversation do it.

Being calmer has come about through guided meditation. Go to YouTube and just type in Guided Meditation. Practice these DAILY. Sometimes more than once.

Lastly, have you been diagnosed yet? If not, go do it. Depending on where you live, go to either your general doctor and tell them you think you have ADHD. They will get you evaluated, and if you want, you can get medication for this condition.

Hope this helps you out on your journey.

[Freedomforme in reply to GatsbyCat]

Will reply to this full later

You are an amazing example

[Stonesfan]

You mentioned Borderline Personality Disorder. (Your parent?) in the title of this thread.

The main.way of dealing with BPD is DBT

IMHO - As you have been so close to BPD picking a therapist that is able to practice DBT might be a good call (rather than an everyday /'vanilla' therapist that is only skilled at CBT)

Further reading below.

verywellmind.com/dialectica...