Did any of you self medicate or still do due to lack of diagnosis . It took me nearly 20 years to find a Doctor who would help
Self medicating: Did any of you self... - CHADD's Adult ADH...
Self medicating
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foolishdog
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Sure, self medicated with alcohol, no idea about ADHD till 5 years sober (62 yrs old) my wife asked me see a Dr.
I self medicated with speed for at least 10 years until I finally got diagnosed and Meds .I was always skint but my ADD was under control to a certain degree
No self medicating here more like getting addicted to things like online poker and etc. my impulsiveness has ruined some friendships. I also have anxiety so I have been on Zoloft for about 20 yrs. I still struggle with these things Still it's really hard.
I understand , I think if I hadn't had help when I did things would of been very different for me . My Meds really changed my life , now I don't drink , smoke cigs ( I do vape ) and try to exercise daily to stay reasonably fit , and best of all the anxiety that crippled me is not so bad now
Hang in there , we'll get there in the end even if it takes us twice as long as everyone else ☺
Yeah that's the thing it's a lot harder for us. I'm trying I am tired of letting myself and others down. When I talk to therapist she is surprised I have never done any bad drugs. Kinda depressing at times tho. But you are right we will get through it hey I made it this far!!!! I need to start exercising it helps.
It really does , I had got a bit addicted to it , but recently had to have a new knee so it has slowed me down a bit .Some days it's so hard to go but again my medication comes to the rescue ☺ . I do live in dread that one day they might stop prescribing for me because I couldn't stand going back to how things where pretty med days , that's the main reason I look after myself now , keep my eye on blood pressure etc.
It's good you haven't done any drugs tho , keep it up you must have a good mind and heart , and you do sound sorry for letting people down so your on the right track , we all do things we are not proud of in life , but it's what's in your heart that countd
Just keep yourself as healthy as you can and hopefully of that does happen with them not prescribing the meds you won't need them you will be healthy and strong enough on your own.
I am sorry about things that I have done. Just don't like hurting people. Hopefully know that I know I have ADHD and I am working on getting my medication right it will all work out...this site is really helpful in being able to talk to others like you about these issues. Thank you!!!!!! 😊
It's the same for me , I was a bouncer in night clubs for 25 years and so most of my friends don't really understand or wouldn't wanna listen to me so the its good that there is sites like this .. They are not being nasty or anything it's just the way they are ☺☺
Yes even when trying to explain to family, they don't understand, and you get that HUH look. My sister says you don't seem that hyper like you aren't running all over. I told her it's my brain that's running all over.
Have you noticed how friends and even family love to send you articles on how ADHD doesn't really exist or its not a real condition , it's like they wanna run you down but haven't got the nerve to actually say it .It used to piss me off big time , but now I don't bother trying to explain myself
Eeeek that hasn't happened yet. I'm sure I will get pissed off too. I am getting the "oh I guess it's the ADHD" comments tho. I don't want to have to explain myself. But to me it explains a lot.
yeah, I’ve had folks try to tell me or at least imply that it’s nothing I just need to straighten up and focus as though I can just flip a switch and fix everything. The worst part is that they judge your actions as though your doing it because you don’t care . I’ve lost quite a few jobs and relationships by people just making assumptions like that.
Yes and don't they think if we could flip that switch that easy we would leave that switch on. Another thing is I don't know why I do the things I do or what I have done and when they want to know why I can't explain why and they take it as I'm lying, and they. Cant accept that. I honestly don't know why its so frustrating.
I self medicated for over 30 years - from the time I was 12 years old. By the time I found recovery at 40 I had tried just about anything and everything that would change the way I felt but meth was always my drug of choice. I had nearly 6 years clean and sober by the time I was diagnosed ADHD-PI and I tried a lot of different non stims and then like stims before seeking out a psychiatrist for medication management. I'm now on Vyvanse and Lexapro and it has literally changed my life. I had to get over the idea that I was using a stimulant and that this somehow negatively impacted my recovery, which has become such a big part of who I am and what I do and my social circle. It was not an easy transition in my head. But the alternative was to go back to the way things were post meds, and I just can't/won't do that. I have never once considered abusing my vyvanse. I have a great relationship with my psych who is a very good listener. I trust him and while I can't speak for him, I believe he trusts me too. I wish I had sought help from a professional many, many years ago - mostly due to the impact of my prior self-medication/addiction on my family - but I am SO grateful for where I am today and the opportunities I am given to make living amends to my family.
I can totally relate to your story , I also self medicated for many years with speed after trying it by chance and realising what a positive effect on my life , I never really dabbled in opiates but would have an occasional bit of coke , but never really got the same clarity and calming feeling as when I took speed . My self medication was quite ordered as I would have the same amount every day and at the same time I spent years tying to find a GP who would refer me to to see an ADHD specialist, but in the UK they are very few and far between and I had no luck getting help until roughly 3 years ago approx and one Dr a wonderful lady listened and went against protocol and referred me . I was assessed and found to have chronic ADHD and prescribed Meds, and everything is great . Like you I would never abuse my Meds and have even stopped drinking and smoking , if only this could of happened years before ☺ .Yours is an inspiring story and thank you for sharing with me , and I wonder how many addicts could be helped if only some Drs would get their heads out of their arses and listen to people .
Well done for turning things round I'm proud of you
Totally agree with you re Drs gettin heads out of arses and listening. I may have actually been treated.
Sorry I'm only just replying to you , I'm not to good at this forum thing and only just seen this response lol . Yes my life would of been so different if some Dr could of just listened , I've been 100% better since I've been medicated
Absolutely, I wasn't diagnosed until age 50. Alcohol is a horrible substance for the body, tried that, coke, nothing supportive, other than the meds I take now, the only other effective drug has been cannabis.
Personally, my reactiveness has been one of my most negative behaviours. The pot seems to extend my personal bubble out about ten feet, providing a buffer zone as distracting elements violate my ADHD focus. No matter how many times I explain to my wife "I am not angry I am just reacting," when her attempts to engage me are met with my yelling and manifesto.
I have never hurt anyone with my reactiveness other than myself and my relationship with my wife. I destroyed a bedroom door, a portable keyboard, and a number of other objects; the narratives that echoed inside me after those explosions were extremely dark, I was always better at punishing myself internally, "go deep, go silently."
Pot isn't the perfect drug either, self-medicating is rife with substance abuse. Patterns of mental health are not linear, there are ups and downs in emotional well being, those self-medicating will have a tendency to increase usage during difficult times. There can be an upside and a downside to the increased usage during stress, I would surmise that the negative events win out over positive.
When I am challenged regarding my use of pot for my ADHD I usually offer the reply,
"I'm just trying to get through each day, one at a time, and some times it's pretty difficult."
I'm lucky to have never spiraled to the deepest levels of depression, but shame is nasty, it's horrific energy that seems to be able to control our destiny from walled enclosures deep in our minds.
Verge interesting response and very true,,written from the heart of expeience
I punish myself internally as well. At the age of 5 to 12 I was molested I taught myself to just push it back and internalize it. Which is really not a good thing. Because of that I have caused a lot of problems with my husband's and my marriage. I keep things that are going on in my life that are not good things inside, and it eats at me. My husband is at the point where he knows something's up cuz I just sit there thinking that's when my ADHD and anxiety kicks in I can't sleep I am constantly thinking and my brain does not stop. I feel very angry and If something upsets me I turn into another person and I can't stop. I have never self medicated myself with hard drugs other than pot, but I don't consider pot a hard drug, but at the time I wasn't thinking of it as self medicating just as recreational, but I did like the calming affect. I would never be able to do it because of my job. I am researching supplements and hoping something will help me I am on 30mg of D-Amp. But I feel almost worse, I have an appt on Nov. 2 I will talk with my Dr.
I hope this makes sense I was all over the place.
Best of luck to you DesertAl.
You’re making perfect sense. In fact it’s really helpful to know that other people on here have similar experiences to mine.
Supplements that I’ve found helpful, each in its own way include:
-fish oil or krill oil tablets
-l-carnitine
-GABA (provides a deeply restful sleep and has a calming effect on the brain. As a result my ADHD is considerably more manageable the next day).
Medical cannibis in moderate amounts was also helpful especially with anxiety and focus , considering you have the right strain. Unfortunately western medicine is still in the dark ages on this whole topic. If you do opt for medical cannibis, only do so having done your research and consulting knowledgeable and reputable people.
I hate to run on but I keep sending replies without wanting to. I can relate to your childhood trauma. Sorry that happened to you.
Thank you I'm sorry about yours as well..yes this site is so helpful and being able to talk to others like yourself that have things in common is so helpful to me. I'm going to look up that GABA it sounds interesting. That's fine reply all you want the more the better. thank you!!! 🙂
So sorry to hear your realy struggling , it must be horrible. Pushing stuff inside is never good and it a always causes problems for the future , but if you have no one to talk to, or if it's just to painful to talk about you don't have a lot of choices and that just compounds the problem even more .There are certain things I couldn't talk to my family or partner about so I kinda know what you mean about just sitting there thinking with your head spinning.
,anxiety sky high and all consuming .
I have heard real good thing about a supplement called 5 htp , it has a natural anti depressant effect and it helps with sleep too , might be worth having a look at and it wouldn't interact with your meds.
Maybe when you see your doctor it might be worth mentioning your past trauma , she might know someone who can help you , no one should have to go through that and hold it in all your life
Stay strong , the world can be a hard place sometimes
I actually looking for someone the therapist I do see wants me to meet with someone that does EMDR therapy. I'm just have a hard time getting a hold of someone. The Dr diagnosed me with ADHD and PTSD. This site helps tremendously with ADHD questions or concerns I have no one else to talk to about these things that understand.
Yeah pushing stuff inside really messes you up.. but I have survived this long I will continue..thank you for your words.
Oh...but back to your original question. Never having been diagnosed until I was 48, I self medicated for much of my 20’s with alcohol because it helped me “feel normal” like other people. (That’s a loaded statement, I know). In my 30’s I stopped drinking and started medicating/experimenting with cannibis. Others here may disagree but this was the lesser of evils. Alcohol lead to many problems in my youth And I managed to let it go but using cannibis was the first time I was lucid and focused (never used as a teen) without being sick, impulsive, destructive etc. I went through all this before I even had a name for what I was dealing with. Groups like this , SUPPORTIVE friends and family, and professional help has made all the difference in the world for me.
Omg....you sound like someone I can relate to! Thank God I found this site, and you wonderful people!
I'm not sure if this is the right place for this discussion, as I am not very "blog or thread" savvy. But here goes nothing.
My bf of 12 yrs has ADHD. He has not been medicated by a prescription in over 20 yrs. I do not have any of these diagnoses. However, he has been attempting to self medicate with almost any illegal substance since I met him. Pot is used daily, and other drugs once in a blue moon. However, most recently we tried some speed. AND I LOVE what it does for him. I know that sounds twisted, but it's like medication for him, he is not argumentative or reactive. He is focused, calm, and such an attentive person when he's "high on meth". It is killing me to feel this way as he has made it clear that he does not think he needs meds prescribed from a dr to treat his ADHD and that smoking pot is enough.
I guess what I'm trying to say, is there somehow one of you knows what I can say or do to encourage him to go get a prescription? Because he doesn't believe his ADHD is the issue, and that it is me who is the reason why we fight. And it def isn't me, and I can't continue to live with his untreated adhd. Not now that I've experienced him "treated". And I think we could agree, that legal prescription would be much better than illegal meth to treat his symptoms.
So please, any experience or words you may have so that I can help him achieve his true potential. I have researched and read every thing I can to try and understand, or to learn how to communicate differently with him. I'm very willing to adapt and to try and help, but in the end I'm the asshole and I'm the one who needs help in his eyes. Every time we fight, I run to the internet trying to learn something else about this guy, and he ends up smoking his brains out and passing out. Which really doesn't make me feel any better about this volatile situation.
Thank for reading, sorry if this isn't the right place for this.
I'm just getting desperate
Hi , first I gotta say this guy is a lucky man to have you in his corner fighting for his health and sanity .
I self medicated with " speed" and in the UK it's the same sort of drug as adderall or dexamphetamine but not as pure or most often mixed with something like ephedrine, so it's not the same as meth so I can't can't really comment on how that would of made me feel . But if your boyfriend has ADHD and could get a prescription it's gotta be better for him than street meth. I take quite a small dosage of dexamphetamine and it just keeps me calm and happy without any I'll effects on my blood pressure , sleep or appetite and I am so happy to get prescribed this help I have stopped smoking cigs and weed (which I smoked for 30 years) just so I can keep receiving my Meds, so for me its been a real positive tradeoff. But the dosage I take never gets you high like it did when I self medicated and that's really what it comes down to , if your boyfriend wants to approach it as a medicine or if he wants to wrecked .
Getting help from a Dr , prescribed and monitored for me was perfect but if he does wanna do that and stick with the programme he's gotta wanna do it , you can only help so much for him
Hope that makes any sense to you
Good luck to you both
Until I was diagnosed in my forties, coffee organized my thinking (not as good as meds but very helpful).
I made a mistake the other day I normally drink one cup of coffee but that day I had two that along with taking my Adderall that morning was not good for me.. I will never do that again I was bouncing all over worse than normal.
It really knocks me about if I have caffeine, sweats, shakes , palpitations, I thought I was having a cardiac arrest and my anxiety sent my blood pressure sky high so I stick to decaf now 👍👍
I felt like I could run a race I was talking fast it was a strange feeling...I was at work too
Sounds as though you were speeding ☺☺☺
Yesss I was thinking is this what speed is like.
Just like that , talking fast , chewing , extreme energy , meds and caffeine together has that effect to potentiate your adderal
That was a weird feeling ...never again lol
It's high? Like what do you mean?
Def agree with foolishdog on this one, @Cher Jer . Your bf Is lucky to have a partner that is understanding and is supportive enough to learn as much as possible about it. Regardless of the substance, your Bf needs to approach this as treatment instead of intoxication.
Medical cannibis , usually the sativa-dominant strains and those with a balanced amount of THC & CBD, are helpful. These are more stimulative and focusing than sedative. I’ve only tried adderall briefly but I found it helpful as well.
The most important thing in the end is approaching whatever he chooses as treatment/therapy versus recreation. There is a difference. Anyone seeking “alternative” means of treating ADHD/ADD should keep the following in mind: self-regulation; seeking professional advise or supervision; being informed about what you’re doing; legality (in states/countries where possible); and controlled doses and scheduling.
Foolishdog....I'm 62 years old and still can't seem to find a doctor who wants to prescribe. They welcome you in and then validate and victimize you and threatevn you until there's just no way you can stay there. Along with the Doctor being a money laundering outfit???
Looking for a Doctor who prescribes Adderral in my area. (SwartCreek, Michigan). One who doesn't welcome you right in, to violate, victimize, threaten you, while running a money laundering practice at the same time. The past 10 years has been beyond hellish and absolutely NO STRENGTH to even think about one more of the same.
You seem to have the answers, hey Foolishdog?
It's disgraceful to be treated like this ,they are supposed to help not ridicule you .
Done know how it works in the US , but in the UK we first have to have some kind of referral to a specialist and only then can they prescribe meds and then your GP has to agree to shared care , if I tried to get help now with the doctors at my surgery I doubt very much if I could get referred, it's really difficult here , unless you havery money to go private .
Maybe someone on this community can suggest a Dr who might specialise in your area who would help you , but I feel your frustration
Hope you get sorted soon
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