Self harm

[Tormented555]

Does anybody else self harm because of ADD?

Apparently you shouldn't tell places you do this because then they don't want to deal with you.

[STEM_Dad]

No, but that's definitely concerning.

Definitely, definitely seek help for that.

Is the self-harm intentional, or accidental?

If intentional, do you also have depression or any other disorder that might cause the impulse to self-harm? (If you don't know, then that's something else you need help with.)

Sometimes medications have warnings that they can cause thoughts of suicide or self-harm. If you started on a medication and then such thoughts started, then inform your doctor right away.

-----

I have a family member who is accident prone, who I think has Hyperactive-Impulsive ADHD, but they aren't diagnosed. They were asked at least a couple of times if they were doing it intentionally, but they truly were only doing so accidentally (which I believe is due to their impulsivity, not to carelessness).

The same family member was once depressed, and tried intentional self-harm during that depression, but not at any other time that I am aware of.

It's because of my family member that I thought to clarify whether you experience accidental self-harm.

[Tormented555 in reply to STEM_Dad]

No, it's intentional. It started out as slapping myself in the face and saying "Wake up! Wake up!" whenever I would do something stupid, and then it became a release of frustration and self loathing that became habitual. I go through periods when I don't do it, but it always comes back. I do plenty accidentally as well, I'm extremely clumsy and accident prone. I'll reach for a glass of water on a table and knock it over and think "How the hell did I just do that?" Or, I'll be doing something with my hands, and I'll think a sudden thought like, "Oh yeah, don't forget this, it's really important" or, "You screwed up that, so you better remember to do this now" or whatever, any sudden thought, and my hand will jump, and I'll drop what I'm holding, or knock something over, or something. It's really wonderful having ADD. It's a gift that just keeps giving. I wish I could get help somehow, but at the same time it's really hard to imagine anything actually working. Do I take a pill and suddenly I'm not clumsy and forgetful anymore? Outside of a getting a completely different brain, it feels hopeless

[STEM_Dad in reply to Tormented555]

Sounds like self-punishment and self-criticism.I used to use self-criticism a lot. (I still catch myself doing it sometimes. Therapy did help me with significantly reducing how much I put myself down.)

Both the self-criticism and self-punishment are concerning, so I strongly encourage you to get help.

There are some types of self-harm can be dangerous to the point of causing damage, scarring, risk of infection, and risk to life. The reasons for engaging in it can vary, but regardless of the reasons, there is help available.

-----

For the record, I was clumsy much of my life. Though I tried to be careful, my inattentiveness and issues with my working memory seemed to make me less aware of my surroundings, and do I was error prone. I've noticed that in the three years that I've been on ADHD medication, I've been much more aware, and less prone to accidentally injury by bumping into things or knocking things over.

So, there is an aspect of ADHD which can cause accidental harm, even from just inattentiveness...and treating the ADHD with medication has helped me to greatly reduce accidental injury to myself.

I would think that the same would be true of getting effective medication treatment for ADHD impulsivity.

[Mamamichl in reply to Tormented555]

My partner and his kid are the clumsy ones and I can relate to the arm jerks. As for the slapping, I used to do that when I got mad at myself. It took a lot of conditioning but I was able to transition that into things like hitting a pillow. Our emotions towards ourselves are so strong, it’s scary.

[MaudQ]

I’m really sorry you’re going through all this. I also saw that you posted last night about not wanting to live. I went through a complete breakdown about two years ago and I’m still not fully over it. I can’t speak specifically to self harm - although I have a whole laundry list of unhealthy behaviors. But I have some thoughts about the “they don’t want to deal with you” part.

What I hate the most is when therapists and providers try to argue me out of what I feel or know to be true. You are right. ADHD can be a nightmare and our healthcare system has many many many problems. Also people in general can be incredibly sucky about neurodiversity. This is all true.

Here’s the thing I’ve learned though: because of my ADHD (and other things) a lot of the time I take the one true thing and spin it out or overreact. So dealing with a doctors office turns into all doctors are terrible and I’ll never get an appointment because no one cares and somehow this is also because I’m the worst person in the world. My friend (also ADHD) says that’s your brain being an asshole. Sometimes I have to stop and say, yes brain, you are right about some of this - but you also need to take a step back.

It *is* freaking hard to find providers and also way harder than it should be to get them to listen to you. But that doesn’t mean that no one is out there. I had a whole bunch of therapists who didn’t get it before I found the one who did. I got turned away at my neuropsych. Actually I went my whole life without anyone ever connecting the dots about what was going on with me. But then I had one good therapist and, while he still didn’t pick up on the ADHD, he helped me get to a place where I could figure it out for myself. And then all the dominoes started falling and now I’m a ton better. Not all the way, but better enough.

So this is a very long way of saying that I really hope you can keep looking for the right care even though you’ve obviously been really burned. You have to keep calling and getting on waitlists. Which all suuucks when you have ADHD I know. One of the best pieces of advice I’ve gotten is to only do five things a day max. Try to make one of those things calling a provider.

[Tormented555 in reply to MaudQ]

Thanks, I can relate

[Mamamichl]

What do you mean “tell places you do this”? My niece does self harm and she’s recently taught herself how to do tattoos as a coping strategy. I don’t recommend it but it works for her. Most people think that if you self harm, you will commit suicide, and for them that’s a liability.

[Tormented555 in reply to Mamamichl]

I called a place and mentioned self harm and they were like "we don't deal with that" and my friend told me that places usually refer self harming people to psych lockup, whatever you call it. I'm not suicidal, just frustrated right out of my mind

[Ejcox2002]

Do you selfharm as a release? Like opening a bottle when it is really fizzed up?

I used to self harm to release the stress build up and let it out. I've been told it is a common ADD thing. Coaching helped me

[Tormented555 in reply to Ejcox2002]

Yes, as a release of frustration and self-loathing

[JamiHIS Administrator]

Dear Tormented555:

Thank you for contacting CHADD's National Resource Center on ADHD. I am sorry to hear that you are struggling with your ADHD and self-harm. Here is more information about self-harm and ADHD. chadd.org/attention-article...

If you are in crisis, please reach out by calling 988 or texting the crisis text line at 741741. Both offer help and trained professionals 24/7. I hope you know that you are cared for and that this is a place to find support among individuals who have experienced similar issues related to ADHD. However, this forum does not replace the help of a doctor or therapist. If you are having a hard time finding a professional in your area, please give us a call at 866-200-8098 and we can help you find one near you. We are here to help!

Sincerely,

Jami

Admin