I just received a very emotive email from my father apologising for ‘missing’ or ‘ ignoring’ my ADHD symptoms as a child. The email was very guilt ridden. This is coming from a man who almost prides himself in his British stoicism and to coin a phrase ‘stiff upper lip’. In other words completely out of character and very surprising to receive an email with such heart felt language.
I’m 37 and just diagnosed. My life has been an absolute car crash of chaos. My father basically said that he and my mum discussed, at length, the possibility of getting me tested for ADHD as a child but failed to do so. In essence my parents blame themselves for the quality of life I’ve experienced.
I feel no animosity or anger in anyway shape or form for their perceived ‘failure’ as parents.
The question I would like to know is does anyone have experiences of how late diagnosis effects the family? Has anyone advice or been through similar situations? I don’t want my new diagnosis to perpetuate guilt, remorse or anguish in my family because of a condition that was not particularly well understood by society (in the uk) at the time.
How do you move on yourself and how can you help the consequences of ADHD in a family member be understood and healed?