I’m 23, living and working in manhattan diagnosed with ADD and Anxiety in 2012. I take vyvanse.
I am struggling to find and stick to routines that will help me. I moved in July and have pretty much just let my impulsivity run wild, and I feel so out of control. I used to be healthy and now I treat my body like shit. I resist all things I know I should do. Yesterday I had a panic attack, something that hasn’t happened to me since my sophomore year of college in 2013. I know that if I take care of myself I will start to see things come together but I can’t motivate myself. I’ve let it go on so long now that I am actually depressed. I knew I was doing it the whole time, but I lied to myself and just lived like someone who doesn’t have ADD.
I want to get back on track, I have to or I will hit bottom and I don’t want to know how far down that is from here. But I’m not sure where or how to start. I don’t like to talk to my family or friends about how I really feel when I’m like this, I hide it. Because I don’t want anyone to worry about me or think that I am failing or disagree with my choices. I
I need to feel accountable to someone, other than myself in order to succeed. But I can’t afford a therapist like I had when i was in college and this happened last.
Does anyone have any cheap or more convenient help?