not much to say (shockingly) other then I’ve been told I talk too much and don’t pay attention at my last two jobs. I was in a high paid position making 85k a year just out of college and left it for an entry level high school position job less than half that pay and I feel like no matter where I am or what I do I’m annoying, too loud, and I can’t get things right.
Idk how to not feel sorry for myself all the time when I just feel like an incompetent loser
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ZanyDonut
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Hey! keep your head high my ADHD friend. Keeping ADHD mouths shut is difficult. But this doesn't make you a incompetent loser. Many times I have wanted to do a silent retreat just to get some relief from my jibjab. Stay strong friend and if you need something to try, I have tried the "pause" before i respond to my friends parents child boss etc.....and i try not to start conversation without cause or mindful awareness. Basically not letting every amazing thought out, only the needed or beautiful things. This doesnt always work but practice makes better. My mental frame is that there is already too much noise in this world and listening and talking pointedly can make positive changes, vs verbal spam.
i hear ya- the “ regulating” ourselves so that we dont repel others is a significant challenge of adult ADHD.
we can try all kinds of exhausting life hacks n tricks…. but thats not always effective bc in the end- our ADHD brain is still fighting against itself to prevent it from doing something we find pleasurable( non stop talking). lol something we r doing to produce dopamine….
what has helped me is age/ maturing, and also developing my own character to the point where i actually see and derive true value from listening to others, staying cool n present without the intense need to add all my amazing thoughts( 😂) reflecting the content in my own head later, and feeling empowered by shutting my f’ in mouth… LOL.
i dont do this by practicing hacks. i just discovered that i get more dopamine dump from not ALWAYS talking n instead connecting with others in other ways that are deeper n more meaningful. im more than just my ability to have opinions n spew them on everyone…
lack of regulation has been one of my biggest battles with ADHD.
it is a blessing and a curse. I think it depends on the job you have. Is the set of positions you have been in specific for talking a lot, or are you over talking in positions where focus is pertinent? My partner does well in call center work.
ZanyDonut, I thank you and those who have responded to your post. I think acknowledging you have ADHD is a very positive thing. I joined this group because I have a 78-year-old sister whom I believe has ADHD. I am 75. For year I've seen some of the behaviors in her - no filter with what she says offending or making other angry, disorganized, spending money she doesn't have and has credit card debt, is late in doing things like waiting until last day to take a driver's license renewal test which she did not pass. I've bailed her out with her finances, and other situations. I am executor of my mom's trust, and I will be distributing to her along with my brother and myself my mom's savings after expenses things are paid. My fear is that she will spend it all on fun things instead of repairing things around her house or saving for things that may come up. If anyone here can provide me with resources for explaining ADHD to her and if you know of any resources to help me show her how to try to become more organized, how her not having a filter offends people and even acknowledge that she has ADHD. You posted "I can't get things right", and that is what she does, she sometimes says "I did something stupid". I'm at the end of my rope of always coming to her rescue. I'm getting too old for this, but one thing I've learned from reading your posts, try to have patience.
many of the organizational tools mentioned here are ones that we use, and find quite useful. I've done a few and have others as well! Keep your head up!
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