Hi!
Late diagnosed with ADHD, ASC, fibromyalgia, osteoarthritis, and a host of other conditions within the past few years - whee.
Looking for connections and community around being a parent with all of this new information, along with parenting children (6, 10) with ADHD. Trying to stay connected to whatās helping, whatās not, and a productive place to let off steam some days š
How are we doing, fellow parents with ADHD?
Hi! I'm similar age and stage to you - married, 2 kids, recent ADHD diagnosis for me, wanting to get one of my kids assessed. Would also be glad to share what works and what doesn't. One example I can think of right now is I've seen some videos done by an ADHD mum of how to organise her kids with lists etc, and I tried it and it works absolutely great for my non-adhd child, but is totally useless for the one I think has ADHD - he forgets to check the list, gets distracted on his way to look at it, and can stare at it without processing the information if he does manage to get there!!
Thatās my adhd daughter too has not cared for the checklist and I really give up if I donāt see them interested myself.
But our house has no organized routine and I feel Iām not being respected at all. The bickering and talking back I canāt stand it and triggers me and I get so frustrated then yelling and screaming starts when I try to have some order or discipline in place and just does not work. Feel so lost and sad and angry at where we are at home. My spouse is so sad and depressed with the whole situation. I just feel some days I need to keep busy to not drag my mood. Praying and holding on to God for hope and guidance.
Hi, Iām a parent not diagnosed with ADHD but looking into an evaluation for myself. Married and have 2 kids 9 year old girl dx of ADHD and anxiety no meds from last 2 yrs and a 6 yr old boy no dx. We have hard time managing challenging behavior at home for both kids mainly my daughter but son follows some of her behavior.
We are struggling with management of behavior and have been seeking family skills bldg and trying to attend webinars to learn how we can handle this at home.
Wr have no behavior issues at school only at home :-/. Our home is chaotic with lots of sibling bickering and screaming. Morning and evening routines are hard to keep on track and on time w/o frustration.
We are now starting family therapy for all of us so we can all get better and learn how to treat ea other and have a better home environment.
at times is very challenging mentally to bear it all. But keep hearing that self care for the parents is a must. Even though is hard to make time for us. We must as this well help us mentally to balance and remain calm and learn to step away and which battles to fight.
I started exercising back again and walking w/o kids and I feel great in those times I know is depositing into my love bank so I can pour out into them as well.
still overall we are in this for thr long run and we learn as we go of what works and what does not. Also keeping my kids busy in sports and activities helps us be busy enough and outside of home where we limit arguments.
Can relate to so much in here! Thanks for sharing :). Similar situationā¦9 yo son with ADHD, and my diagnosis is probs right around the corner ;). Excercise and self care are game changersā¦especially the exercise when it feels hard to step away to take care of yourself. Another game changer for me has been a sauna (SaunaBox, $350) and meditation. Thankful for this community!
I would love a sauna or steam room. But I donāt want to have to pay one more mbrship lol. All our funds I feel are going towards my daughter counseling and tutoring and all the activities to keep both kids busy. But I love the steam room and want to go back. We are sane when we care for ourselves and dread getting back to walk on egg shells. Love and hate relationship for sure lol.
so one question I have the late dx for adults after knowing child is now adhd. What prompted you to seek eval? A sense of confirmation because of similar symptoms or because you feel your symptoms have now increased or come out a lot more prompted out by childās symptoms or you ultimate want to have certainly and seek treatment for yourself?
I have experienced a lot more anxiety and feel symptoms have come out for me after my daughter dx specially getting focused at work Iām drowning and just canāt get myself started. So I feel like I really need a dx to confirm what is going on but ultimately feel I may want to try meds myself to help me w concentration and regulate my anxiety specially when triggered by my dx child.
Thoughts?
I have just written a post about this on the adult ADHD forum but completely forgot to mention on it that one thing that really made me think I had ADHD was when I started to recognise that the frustrations I was having with my child and the things that were coming out of my mouth were the same that were said to me when I was a kid!! I used to blame my forgetfulness and emotional dysregulation and depression etc on complex PTSD, which I was diagnosed with a few years ago, but it didn't explain how my child was turning out the same. I 100% recommend getting yourself evaluated and giving medication a try, it has made a massive improvement to my positivity and feeling of being able to cope, even though I still struggle with daily stuff, I feel a lot more in control, a lot more motivated to keep trying, and less overwhelmed than I did.
Triple P Positive Parenting classes have me a lot of great exercises and information.
Pay attention good behaviors and notice them and verbalize your the positive behaviors your feeling with āIā statements. Example; I really like how you got dressed for school after only one reminder. That makes my heart happy and yours too I bet!ā
First and Then management of To Do lists.
Example; First do 20 minutes schoolwork in laptop program, Then you can have 30-60 minutes of a certain free time activity.ā
Be precise on time limits. Adjust accordingly.
Most importantly is for us caregivers/parents
Is to stay emotionally regulated ourselves. Easier said than done at times. I get it.
I try to take a breath and verbally acknowledge both our feelings and sometimes even ask, āso how we going to fix this issue/concern? Any thoughts or ideas?ā
This gives them a feeling of safety (regulated) response by you, and they feel they have a voice in the matter.
I by no means practice the above šÆ % š.
But I try. And at the end of they day itās off the plateā¦hopefully!
welcome! My 10 yo and I were diagnosed about 3 years ago. Dad and his first born were diagnosed about 8years ago. It has been a fun ride of mood swings. Although older kid is on meds, I keep telling my partner we should get some for the younger one (he used to be all about them and is drifting away). He complains about you get one not listening to him. My docs are on the fence of me having asd, and Iām working on being diagnosed Ehlers Danlos syndrome (EDS). My partnerās mom has fibromyalgia.
Feel free to use me as a resource and venting. Just tell me which at the beginning of the conversation,
Parenting models and books applicable to ADHD
Co-parenting and ADHD
parenting a child with adhd
Newbie ADHD parent just venting
parent and child with ADHD 
