about 2 weeks ago or so, my partner and I found out our 10 year old daughter has autism 1 and adhd. I have a few questions:
what kind of meditation do you recommend?
What kind of research did you do? ( example to understand your child’s needs etc)
What kind of system or schedule do you use for your child/children?
What types of therapies did you put your child:children in?
did the school help at all with your child or children?
What schools are good for your child/children’s?
What activities do you do with your child/children?
If I think of anything else I will let you know. I am just feeling extremely overwhelmed with all of those process, I have my own mental health and physical health needs I need to meet. So I am asking parents to help guide me the best they can.
Thank you.
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kanzler1987
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-for both kids and families I highly recommend the Smiling Mind app. It’s free, well researched, and offered in public schools in Australia. It has programs for each age group.
What kind of research did you do? ( example to understand your child’s needs etc)
A lot of our research was based on whatever issue was presenting as most critical at the time. Issues and research areas include: best education interventions for ASD/ADD/anxiety; OT and SLP therapies for emotional reg, fine motor, and social skill/social thinking; medications/ vitamins/ genetic testing; positive behavioral interventions and supports; legal educational rights and how to play nicely; transition concerns/state and federal resources; parent and caregiver supports. Happy to share any resources/websites in these areas that I can.
What kind of system or schedule do you use for your child/children?
With younger kids, visual schedule and lots of cueing and warning of transitions. Lots of planned positive attention. With older kid, using Ross Green’s Collaborative & Proactive Solutions (CPS) /plan b model to include child in developing a plan/problem solving. More taxing executive function skills and tools and crutches that child can use to help self manage time and organization.
What types of therapies did you put your child:children in?
Social skill/social thinking group; OT
did the school help at all with your child or children?
Yes. Consider checking out Wrightslaw or a Day in our Shoes. Important to get along and take pains to really nurture that relationship but also know when to stand up and advocate, seek an educational advocate or attorney, know what your “hill to die on” is and be prepared and knowledgeable in what steps yo take and when should that hill show up some day. That has not been necessary in our case yet, but every year is a nail-biter.
What schools are good for your child/children’s?
Public schools that have to abide by IDEA protections. Local autism society, Facebook groups, state parent resource center can often steer you away from less supportive and toward more.
What activities do you do with your child/children?
Spend time following our child’s lead. Following their interest and getting curious without directing play. Exposing them to new interest areas and pushing them /encouraging gently beyond comfort zone at times. Physical activity is so important.
Just another note, important to take care of you as parent and as spouse. Join groups of parents of neurodiverse kids like this forum, but also in your community. Your local parent resource center can be a big help. parentcenterhub.org/find-yo...
So glad you’re here! Our son is gifted/ASD/ADD and only a couple years older. Welcome to this wonderful group where I have learned so much.
Also to take a breath, pause and reconnect with the present - and yourself. A new diagnosis doesn’t change who you are, your family, your child. It hopefully gives you some new ways to understand behaviors and access to supports where needed.
Baby steps. Don’t try to solve for all equations all at once. Pick one area for improvement or research at a time.
I like these podcasts to feel supported and part of a community of parents with neurodivergent kids.
I just heard the idea on the Tilt Podcast the other day about taking time to process after receiving this type of diagnosis and only introducing small steps. Sort of like a honeymoon…. Taking a pause and time in after a big event/news.
I have 2 kids, both with ASD and ADHD. One is like your daughter and 1 has intellectual disability. I would say, after jumping headfirst into tons of therapies initially, that evaluating what you can actually fit into your family’s schedule is really important. You are in a marathon, not a sprint. Be kind to yourself, your relationship, and to your child and remember her behavior often reflects lack of skills, not lack of interest in doing well. Hugs to you.
I also have a daughter with ASD 1, ADHD, as well as OCD and anxiety. All wise advice on these comments here, this post is helpful to me too. We just got the ASD diagnoses a few months back and it was a mix of emotions. Part grief as I regretted the long fights we had, now knowing that she really couldn’t help it; part relief that certain aspects of her behavior are likely the ASD, and I’ve been reading up on it which has helped. I recommend ‘Navigating Autism’ by Temple Grandin.
I am still working on giving myself needed time to myself so I can better care for my two kids. I’m more patient and flexible for the difficult times as a result.
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