ADHD: Similar experience?

[2017Achoe]

I have a 16 year old daughter who was diagnosed with ADHD. She is not on medication yet, but looks like it has come to get her on the meds. Does anyone have a child that has ADHD where their behavior is very aggressive, have emotional break down easily and basically don't listen to the parents? If yes, 1. How do you deal with a child that doesn't listen to you 2. what kind of medication seem to work for your child 3. did the doctor order any brain x-ray before prescribing medication?

New to this site. Feeling lost. Would appreciate any feedback.

Thanks.

[Momee2]

Hi I am new to this but I had to let you know just a couple of months ago my 16 year old son was diagnosed with ADD. I have felt so alone and frustrated with this process. We started meds vyvanse,focalin,and Wellbutrin finally may be helping. On the meds before he had bad mood swings no appetite. We took our son out of school at the beginning of the year to help get things right for him. This has been so hard on all of us. Hoping we are making good choices for him. The guilt that he has had this his whole life and I didn’t know while he struggled we pushed thinking things would change he would get better but the struggle never changed for him. He was totally alone his whole life believing he was just wrong that he was the problem. I hope I can help him now that we know and start to understand this. Good luck to everyone I will share anything I can if it helps. Thank you for sharing

[Momee2 in reply to Momee2]

No brain scan was done. Psychological testing but we haven’t done that yet

[anirush]

Dealing with a 13 year old with exact same symptoms. Last night he said he wished he were dead. Still trying to get meds right to help him. he was on ADHD medication for years but suddenly that doesn't work at least not by itself

[Shawnise]

Yes I have a 7yr old with adhd but we have tried so many medications but it doesn't seem to work long term, I also think he has ODD, working on a diagnosis for that, still having problem with behavior, believe me this is a long process, unless you get lucky

[ladysoc]

I understand! And you are not alone. I am a parent of 15 y/o son with ADHD. He has been on meds since first grade; I tried a lot of other options before that, though (to no avail). He's been on Vyvanse, Focalin, and the generic Concerta; now, is refusing to take meds, as he does not like the way he feels on them. He's tanking (failing one elective, language, and D's in other core classes) in school, so I figured it did not matter much either way if he is medicated.

Throughout his life, he has what my husband and I refer to as "episodes." These are moments that escalate behind reason when being denied something. In middle school, he called the police because we would not take him for ice cream and the police were dispatched to our house; this event snowballed to the point where he was taken into custody by the police and placed in a mental health facility for two nights (still paying that bill two years later). The psychiatrist who saw him in the facility thought he had a mood disorder and prescribed for that, while continuing his adhd meds. We did not keep my son on the mood drugs for long, as they made him so sleepy that he was literally falling asleep at his desk in school.

My son is now in 10th grade. He's pretty smart (his IQ is high 120's) but has no desire to graduate from high school. Over time, he has managed to control his episodic behavior so that it is not as charged as it was previously, but the episodes still continue. In middle school, the episodes were about once a month, then they decreased to every three months and them some longer stretches. We try to remove ourselves from the situation when they occur, which generally means leaving the house undetected. This is a challenge, due to the security system, but we will leave for an hour or so and then my son will ask us to come home and apologize. It is a strange and embarrassing way to live; I never imagined my life as a parent would be like this.

I think I am venting rather than answering your questions. When he does not listen to us, we leave the situation by physically removing ourselves, which, in most cases, is leaving our house (removing privileges does not really work and taking his phone away is more problematic than helpful and increases the anxiety in the house for us all and escalates this episodic behavior). We've tried medication but none has really been successful (he's now not taking any stimulant meds, only an Omega-3 supplement and .01mg of Clonidine at bedtime -- this was required when he was on stimulants meds because the poor thing could not fall asleep even after the medication had worn off -- now, it is nice to have him get sleepy and mellow out at the end of the day. Also, until very recently, this 15-y/o was sleeping on the floor in my bedroom due to anxiety and the Clonidine just knocks him out so that he can sleep in his own bed.)

I hope you will keep us posted and hope you and your child find peace.

[krystle_w]

I have a 14 year old daughter who is very much like that. She is currently facing her second expulsion from her new school. The best way I can say to deal with the attitudes and emotional break downs is to just show her you are there. My daughter is has an appointment with her psychiatrist to have the testing done for ADD/ADHD. A child that doesn't listen is hard, we have also taken things away and put her in sports. She has to take Lexapro, low dose birth control and lamitical.

[nawilliamsjr23]

2017 Achoe

Yes I have a 12 yr old. He is very aggressive without his meds and doesn't listen and emotional. U have a teenager who is trying to figure out things. Talk her Pediatrician to get her on the correct meds and have her evaluated for an IEP at school. That will get her the specialist she needs. Make sure she receives a Behavior Specialist!

She might have Sensative Integration to. They will evaluate her for that.

As far as the handling of behavior at home, we take his favorite things away for an extended time out!! And in force it greatly and do not give in!!! As a last resort we spank!!!

He is on Focalin!

Hope that helps.

[Mmagusin]

Was she just now diagnosed?

[Frottola]

Hello. I have a 14 year old daughter who was quite aggressive and still has mood swings.

She is on risperidone for moods and it does help. It also helps her sleep and that is so important for adhd kids.

She is on strattera for adhd. It helps her focus, but she is disinterested in school.

When she doesn't listen, there are natural consequences to some of her choices.

If you are trying to get her to follow rules, have her be a part of the problem solving. It may take a while to get her to buy into this idea, but if she picks the consequences instead of you, she will be more likely to follow them.

Here is the hardest part: don't react when she is arguing. Be present, but neutral.

Agree with her no matter what. I know it sounds silly, but it works. "YOU ARE SO STUPID!" "Yes, I am."

Also, turn it into a question..."so this rule is not working. What should it be?"

No brain scan done.