5 year old son we suspect has ADHD

[cleaningfairy]

Hello ,

I'm new to this and i'm looking for some advice.

We have suspected for a couple of year our son has ADHD, my now adult niece was diagnosed with ADHD at aged 5 and is now adult but myself and other family members have noticed my little boy shows so many signs my niece did at his age.

Also i am a qualified Teaching assistant and worked with children of primary school age children with many SEN needs including ADHD but i said to my husband i recognise many symptoms but as his mum i don't want to be over analysing my little boy.

I do have 2 adult sons that showed no signs of ADHD and currently run a professional kitchen of a extremely well known busy restaurant and hotel and the other a manager of same hotel and restaurant . ( not saying they couldn't do this with ADHD i was just trying to explain i know children are different but they have no signs)

Our little boys school have not mentioned anything to me and leaves me wondering , you see our son often has what i can only describe as stims, sounds of like pop goes the weasel, clearing throat constantly ,like regulating stims. The school have not noticed even though i've seen him come out of school doing them.

I feel like i want to get our boy tested because if he needs support i need to be able to get that for him , i don't want him to be struggling any more than he needs too.

How long does it take to be tested and get results these days in uk? My husband gets very frustrated with our son because he has never had to cope with a child with ADHD and often believes our son is just being naughty.

I desperately want to be able access support for my son because it upsets me so much to think he is being misunderstood and actually needs help and support.

My heart breaks every time my son is told off for bad choices or behaviour and he will often tell me he's an idiot or stupid and always tells me he loves millions of times a day. I always tell him he is not an idiot and hearing him say these things upsets me because i don't ever want him to feel this way. I tell him i love him all the time even when he makes choices i feel isn't the right one.

Do any of you parents have any tips that could help navigate all of this for my son and us please?

[Willowbee37]

my 9yr old son started clearing his throat constantly when he was unmedicated. When he got on ADHD medication it became ALOT less. Right now he’s young and talking to his doc about whether medication is right for you or not is first. Keep in mind excercise is soooo important for these kids, especially at this age. I got a small indoor trampoline and he would use it for 5 mins before school and directly after. I would try a sport right away as well. Maybe swimming if it’s accessible? Wears them out and keeps their focus. Hang in there!

[cleaningfairy in reply to Willowbee37]

Thank you for your reply, that is extremely helpful . What does annoy me is when my son does these stims and doesn't notice he's doing it and people copy him thinking its funny even when i have explained to them what he's doing it for.

This can put my son on the spot and make him uncomfortable.

[Willowbee37 in reply to cleaningfairy]

Yep, it’s essentially a tic that they cannot control. It tends to get worse when nervous, anxious or tired as well. Certain ADHD meds made the tic worse and others stopped them completely. It’s VERY common in young boys though. So next time someone copies him maybe just say hey he can’t control it, let’s not make it worse. Kids understood that the best and would usually stop right away. Adults. They might question it 😵‍💫

[Jgirlie123]

we live in the US and even here getting a diagnosis takes many different turns depending on insurance and access to psychologists. We live in Houston and it would have taken a year on the wait list to get tested using insurance. Luckily we knew someone so we used those networks and got in with in a couple of months. If you go private pay you can get evaluated within weeks.

My son’s kindergarten teacher noticed at 5. I’m ADHD and so I knew this was a possibility. I did nothing then because he was so young and he just transitioned to a different school with different schedule and model. Then came first grade. Same discussion. This time I agreed for them to fill out the Vanderbilt and so did we as parents. They didn’t match so pediatrician did not diagnose. I just didn’t see symptoms at home. Then came Covid and we had to do homeschool. Then I noticed the ADHD. So that summer I took him to get evaluated using the old evaluations from the school and asked his teacher to write a letter and fill out a form. We got our diagnosis summer before 2nd grade

My son was not in meds for 2nd grade and the new school was not a fit. We switched from public to private because public was still at home virtual learning and both my husband and I needed to work outside the home. By November of 2nd grade the school threatened to kick us out so ran to get meds. It was an instant change. We still ended up switching schools for 3rd grade just because I didn’t like their attitude but meds were amazing for us. So… summary…. Teachers thought he had adhd beginning age 5. Diagnosed at age 7. Began meds by 8.

[Willowbee37 in reply to Jgirlie123]

That our exact timeline as well. Second grades marks a more strict learning setting so our doc always said to get it figured out by then.