Hi there.
I live in California now but we're moving to Washington soon.
Like many of you, I struggled greatly while enduring quarantine procedures with young, gregarious, active and chronically-bored toddlers at home, no live-in relatives and a spouse with pre-existing conditions that made getting everyone's social needs met essentially impossible. No matter how much attention I am willing to pay, I can't magically transform into a room full of peers for my kids to play with.
No matter what, I have to make up for that lost social experience, and I want to make a decision that will not require hours of driving to play dates every week. Ideally, I want my boys to have what I had growing up - kids to play with in the neighborhood. I know that's getting harder to find, but we need it and I don't want to settle for less.
My primary criteria in a new neighborhood, other than basic safety, is one with lots of children so my boys can have playmates AND the ability to take a break or give a break when tensions get high. I'm definitely willing to host playdates in a reciprocal social group. I desire a neighborhood with friends in walking distance or a short drive away. Ideally, some of those kids would have ADHD and/or ASD. We all learn from each other. Being neurodivergent can feel so lonely and frustrating. Having peers with similar struggles really helps.
Secondly, location matters. I want to be within about 45 minutes of Seattle, but not in Seattle itself. We don't want to be on an island or a required ferry ride to or from home. Sammamish, Issaquah, Maple Valley, Redmond, Bellevue, Duvall, Bothell, Tacoma, and Olympia and the cities around and between them are all places I'd be happy to look.
The boys are seven and four. They both love music and energetic play.
My older son is a voracious reader of funny comics and graphic novels, has natural math ability and is endlessly fascinated by the natural sciences. Video games, scavenger hunts, riddles, jokes, conversations and cerebral exercises are his favorite things. He does not seem to tire of social activity and is still learning when to step back for a while to recuperate his energy and self-control. He is very noisy and it's most frequently joyful, and he likes to lead activities and teach skills.
My younger son's interests are of all things mechanical, functional, and process-dependent. Once he's able to wield a small enough screwdriver he's likely to dismantle every device and appliance in the house. He needs more quiet time as an individual than his brother can stand but he's happy to peacefully collaborate, experiment with or parallel play with peers. He likes to demonstrate what he has learned and to perform tasks that contribute to a larger group effort.
We practice gentle parenting, empathy and instruction and focus on teaching self-awareness and self-care as well as respect for and appreciation of others. My kids are, as much as can be expected at their ages, aware of their disorders, their challenges, their behaviors and their medications* because I lived through a stigmatic era and all that secrecy and shame did was keep me masked and prevented me from getting help. Ideologically, we're secular and humanitarian. Politically, we're progressive.
This is indeed a want ad - do you have a neighborhood like what I want? Do you know of one?
Do you know of one but it's pretty far from Seattle? Hey, it's not a waste of my time to check it out, so you're still welcome to offer your info and I appreciate it.
Thank you!
*My younger son is neither diagnosed nor medicated at this time.
I might edit this post.
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