Hello! I am joining this community to get support, and hopefully advice, about parenting a 4-year-old boy with serious self-control/impulse-control issues. He is a very sweet kid, but sometimes physically violent (bites his baby brother, other kids) and not able to control his impulses (knocks down other kids's blocks). He usually has a SEIT in class or camp with him and, after one day without her, had a very rough day -- being physical with other kids, pushing, hitting and then biting a little girl. I know he is a good kid and want to give him the tools to succeed and be accepted by peers and have friends. I would welcome any advice from others who have gone through something similar and it would be so, so reassuring to hear "it's all going to be okay."
Parenting 4-year-old with self-contro... - CHADD's ADHD Pare...
Parenting 4-year-old with self-control issues
I am a new to the community too. From my experience a behavior therapy might be very helpful.
What kind of behavior therapy? He already gets PT, OT and has a SEIT. . . It is hard to conceive of any more therapies!
It is a totally diffrent thing. You need a behavior specialist It is a type of psychological counselor who helps those with disabilities or problems that impair learning or social functions. The one who works with little kids and have an experience with kids like your son. If you have an insurance usually insurances cover this type of therapy very well.
You’re at a rough age! It does change and I hope my past experience can help you. At 4, my son was too young for medications. He was placed on them early at 5, as the medications I’m familiar with are geared toward children 6 and older. Occupational therapy helped me the most. You could also look into the Nurtured Heart Approach. Although I think he may be too young, I would encourage you to start looking into broad spectrum micronutrients. The two companies are Hardy Nutritionals and True Hope. I recommend contacting them and seeing if there are options for you to try with regard to supplements which would be in a powder form. My heart goes out to you and don’t give up!
Thank you!! I am not familiar with the Nurtured Heart Approach and will look into it. Did you use the Nurtured Heart Approach? I would appreciate hearing more!
It’s all going to be okay. 
Not because there is an easy or quick answer but because he is loved, accepted and has an advocate in you!
My son was doing all that and more in pre-K, and we had no idea why. He was at a private daycare, and they didn’t have the resources to deal with even one kid with these kinds of issues. The director (an evil woman who should never be allowed to work with children) told us we weren’t spanking him hard enough, and that if we didn’t get him under control he was going to end up in jail. Turns out he has ADHD and mild autism. We have had him on multiple medication combinations and different therapies. It does get better, but it takes a long time. My son will be 7 next month and he still has issues with aggression, especially when he’s frustrated, but it has gotten better.
He is lucky to have an advocate like you. And that director sounds AWFUL
I don’t hate many people in this world, but I truly hate that woman.
My son exhibited the same behaviors at age 4, biting, hitting ,running away from the teachers, spitting, couldn't sit still. I will say this is the best time to write down his conditions, keep a journal. To share with his doctor, even ask his daycare provider to keep a written journal. Does he have difficulties communicating, does he has difficulties looking directly at people, etc. My son was diagnosed with autism and adhd. He started meds at age 5. Now he is 13 y/o, with medications, speech therapy, therapy and some of the best teachers. My son went from the behaviors I listed to receiving student of the month, improved behavior award, got to celebrate the end of the year reward party for 90 pts or higher. It has been an up hill journey but stay consistent. I always kept him busy with sports team, boys scout, now band ;to get him use to being around peers, or any activity. (Karate). The other thing we noticed that other kids had influenced on how he behavior, if he is around kids that exhibited behaviors issues, he would join in, but in the sixth grade he was placed in an exclusive class and his behavior changed drastically, there were some issues that needed adjusting but if handle quickly and keep him on a schedule it worked out. My son will be in the 7th grade this year, and prior to the end of the school closing we had his IEP, ( special needs education plan for accommodation at school ) and we added everything that could give him a good start. But the biggest advice I can give you is to pray, ask for patience and understanding, invest in knowledge about ADHD if your son might have it . Best wishes. God doesn't make mistakes.
WOW!!! Your son sounds like an amazing young man. Is he still on meds? We actually just started tae kwon do! My son does not have any issues communicating and makes good eye contact. He also seeks out sensory input. I don't think he has any autism, but maybe some sensory issues
Yes my son is still on meds, we had the discussion about his ADHD/Autism when he was about 7 and the need for meds for the rest of his life to help him manage. In the beginning the meds was trials and errors but we were able to find something that helped. He started meds at 5. I should mentioned that I have 2 sons with different ADHD. The second age 15.5 has inattentive ADHD diagnosed at age 6, also take meds.
My son also would hit bite spit throw scream. Also around age 4 he has ADHD and genulized anxiety disorder he has the combined type as well parenting was really difficult especially being single if I had to ground him it was helpful for me to take something away for a hour or so and make him earn it back also if I needed him to clean up one step directions and make it a game really helped the school my son goes to has a mentor program that helps him he is also on meds and in case of extreme meltdown weighted blankets are amazing. I hope this helps it will get better I promise it's just as hard on them as it is you sometime that helps to keep in mind when dealing with the meltdowns
The therapies that you listed are not behavioral interventions by themselves. If not already done, get a functional analysis of behavior to determine what is happening, what are the triggers, what is the response to any intervention, and what is the reason for the outbursts (is it ADHD, anxiety, etc). Then a management plan can be developed to proactively rather than reactively address the outbursts (easier to prevent than to stop after they start).
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