New to site community

[KidsNkitties]

Hello! I am new to this site community. I joined to connect to other parents of children with ADD/ADHD.

My daughter is 7.5 years old and was diagnosed with ADHD at 5 years old. She started having extreme tantrums that started at 1.5 years old and got progressively worse with age. Once I figured out her triggers it’s been easier to manage.

Parenting her is exhausting, I feel isolated because parents of kids without ADHD don’t understand the challenges we face. I also feel ashamed about my not so great parenting moments.

I know many of you can relate and hoping to connect with other parents who can understand the daily challenges of living with an ADHD child.

[Onthemove1971]

Welcome!! We are so happy you joined us on this journey.. there are ups and downs, but what has helped me the most is having this groups to send in questions and get feedback from. Just known we are always here for you. I encourage you to read over previous messages to learn about the struggles and successes we have experienced!

Welcome with warm hugs..

[Trying1978]

Hi there! 6.5 yo boy here (son, that is!). I totally agree re the not so great parenting moments, especially when everyone's asleep & they all kind of hit you at once. Hang in there!

[Shamasamdrew]

Just wanted to welcome you as well. This board is a wonderful source of information and connection.My child is 16 now, but I so remember that feeling of isolation. I felt like every other parent had a well behaved child except me. I also felt like no one had to put the work in that I had to get the successes that we had. Sometimes that success was something as small as going to the store without a meltdown.

That said, it is a journey for sure, but we are here for you.

[Imakecutebabies]

I hear you. My son was just diagnosed at the end of kindergarten in May, and we spent most of his kindergarten year being isolated by many of the other parents in his class, including those of his best friend, because clearly there must be something wrong with us and our parenting if we are raising a child like that... It was very discouraging, especially since we were trying SO hard with him, and especially because all those not-so-great parenting moments make you start wondering if maybe They are right. We're hoping that his first grade year will go better now that he's on some medication and has an experienced teacher (last year was mostly subs). However, it may be too late to save his reputation. ):

[Brazilianmom in reply to Imakecutebabies]

My son (6 years old) was just diagnosed and I so understand what you mean by "reputation". Starts with the teachers saying their name so many times in class, then the kids lable them a "bad kid" ... what is sad is the adult's behavior. I hope your son finds (and you) an amazing group of friends who love him. I was heartbroken to read the school report about my son , who is so social and outgoing , but is starting to withdraw with fear of being rejected. We too are trying SOOOO hard . They are so young to be judged like this already

[longhorn9]

I'm new here too, and have the same feelings about parenting a difficult child when normal "methods" just do not work. Please know that you are not alone!

[ELucas13]

Don't feel ashamed of your parenting moments that are less than stellar. We have all been there! Yesterday my son asked me to stop using bad words all the time. I made no such promise.

ADHD is a roller coaster and I hate roller coasters! It's been a process for us using medication then stopping; seeing a specialized doctor then stopping; starting medication again and making my child feel like a guinea pig then finding a fit--and then the peace just upends itself!

Yes, it's a journey and you have loads of passengers on the same trip! Stay strong!

[Sankhara]

Hi. I really understand the exhaustion & shame. My son’s ADHD became most apparent when he was six, but we didn’t have a diagnosis until he was 9. For years I was confused & ashamed (& irritable & exhausted). He is now almost 13 & we have seen a sea change in behavior. We have done 3 things for the past 18 months that have made significant changes in his brain. First, we started a non-stimulant medication (Guanfacine) in March 2021. I wish we had started it sooner. It helped his excessive talking & just gave him an edge of calm. Second, we purchased a neurofeedback machine & use it at home twice a week. That consistency has gone a long way. We just did another brain scan & the results are as good as what we could hope for. Third, we started him on Hardy’s Micronutrients about 6 months ago. I read about them on this website in another parent’s blog post & am so grateful. He is getting much better sleep-no longer getting up to go to the bathroom several times each night. All of these interventions have helped his moods & he no longer has rages & meltdowns. He does still repeat himself a lot & have some problems with boundaries. But now he has a great group of friends & I feel Like he is much better resourced.