Hi everyone, I'm new on this site. I'm so encouraged to know that there are many parents go through the same thing that I'm going through and exchanging valuable information and support!
My son is in Grade 1, diagnosed ADHD last month. He was also diagnosed with mild intellectual disability at early Kindergarten year.
He is so much struggled with math.... He can count objects and match the number symbols, understands the sequence 1-10, but when I ask him "what's before/after 3?" he can't tell.... He doesn't even understand very basic addition, such as 1+1=2, 2+1=3 etc..... I tried different methods using manipulative (cubes, bear counters, gems), but he doesn't seem to understand.... I pushed him too hard today and he cried.....
We're starting to use tutor service next month but I wanted to see if any parents had similar challenges.....
I understand the 30% rule..... He is 6- 1/2 years old, so his executive age is 4 years old. He is reading fine but he has speech delay. So the language part might be delaying his understanding about math concept too....
Any thought will be appreciated.
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Adam081911
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Hi ha11, it's nice to connect with someone who understands and have similar experience.
My son is in catholic school and he is mainstreamed mostly but he doesn't want to participate quite often and pulled out of class.... He has auditory sensitivity so he might be having overstimulated at times..... also his tasks might be little over his ability so I need to bring this up in IEP meeting too. His IEP is mostly behavior focused not academic.... He has SLP and OT at school. He's been taking Ritalin and all teacher noticed a big difference in a positive way. Although his motivation is not there.
How old is your son? What helped your son to understand simple addition??
Ooo with the maths counters for addition help him . Thanx for your response as well .
New Go math in forst grade is quite touf In his Iep they also started maths program Moving with maths that help him . Also i try to talk to teacher even for lil things that helps but they say hes struggling in inclusion I will start Metadate soon for him
right now he is taking Risperidone that help in lessining hyperness but not solving that much focus problem.
is still there also on one to one he does pk he meeds lots of praise and intitatives , In large group he get more distracted.
Wherr do you live in New jersey??
I spent hours in home work
and maths practice again and again also help on weekends especially.
We live in Canada. My son turns 7 in August so pretty close to yours.
Thank you for sharing your experience. I'm gonna keep doing what I'm doing using counters and regular practice. Thankfully he only gets reading homework so I don't have to be frustrated more than I am!
Our tutor will use Kinesthetic approach next month. I'll see how it goes.
Moving body for math sounds fun. I just don't have many ideas incorporating those with math. Exercising is a way to go for ADHD kids anyhow.
I also use sticks amd colors to help him also I try very cool with him during homework otherwise he loses his confidence in seconds and start cry so now i dn push him too much just keep on talking with lots of praise and smiling .
His teacher says if you sit one on one and keep initiating him hes ok but otherwise he gets easily distracted and sitting doing nothing😓
The symptoms you mentioned.... My son has them all..... he has busy minds and constantly making noises too (like shooting sounds like, singing, etc.) so he can't focus...... easily distracted.... and yes, being silly.... too silly..... I sometimes hear from teacher that he walks away from his classroom.....!
His class size is quite big, 26 of them. So I understand there are so many distractions for him.
The cost of the tutor is $60/hr so far. If we buy bigger package, it's going to be little lower though. We're just trying to do 6 sessions to see how he is going to react to new routines and everything then we'll decide if we're going to continue.
You sound like a very good advocate for your son! You mentioned that you spend hours to help his homework. Are you doing that everyday? How do you manage making dinner etc. ?
I only spend 10-20 minutes a day when he has school. We're now in spring break so I'm doing little more but can't do hours..... How does your son cooperate doing the homework that long??
Yes, I give him a reward at the end of his work too. He won't do it if there is anything that I can offer him...
kids come home at 3 then 2 hours of play play play or in summer some outside play with food time as well then nap yes I still give them nap as i m thyroid patient so i becm too lazy in afternoon.My kids luv to hug me and lay down in bed with me .
Then home work starts Around6:30 or 7 finishes by 8 or 9
9:30 is dinner time light dinner i know thats late .because their dad comes at this time .They gonto bed by 11
Between weekend I try to do sm extra practice with kids in studies .
But my routine needs some improvement i know but its flexible for our family .
My lil kidd is very intelligent doing good in school and this big one is my heart but slow 😓😓😓
How much homework does he have?? Are they all math?
Do you spend hours to finish his homework? or additional work you want to do with him?
I snapped at him again doing math to be honest with you..... He already dislikes math and I may have effected his confidence.... I can't wait to have a tutor!!
Wow, thanks for sharing the math homework. There is no way my son will understand this.... His class is doing math up to 20. Your son's class looks like doing more advanced math!! Is this a standard in the U.S.?? doing numbers 30-40?!
Hi, our IEP meeting is coming up on Monday.... I can't fall asleep because I'm thinking about how to efficiently address my concerns and get my questions answered in a timely manner...
In my son's class, there is a classroom teacher and an assistant teacher ( she is there to support all the students in class but she spends a lot of time with my son), there is a younger assistant teacher who helps my son's math. I think she does one on one with him.
I understand that you worry about your son's silliness but we can't change.... sometimes I want my son to act like his age in the public but of course he doesn't understand about the social awareness so I just hope that people just see him as being a child. It's his personality. Some people take it in a positive way. I know it's hard to watch sometimes but I'm really trying to see his strengths although it's easy to fall on negatives.....
Love for your reply yeah i cry smtimes not baeacause of his academics but his social well being and my husband wipes my tears .He says the same that Lord has made him like this so dn worry he will protect him always in any situation.
For meeting be confident and if you feel so get some time from them for any decision .
Sometimes school rush to get sign on their proposed ideas but be careful You will adress your concerns dn worry 👍👍
Make some notes with you as well .Also give them impact you are aware of your rights 😊
I go alone in meetings now lol i dn scare any more my faith is in God .But i try to talk to teacher before iep meeting even oneday before to get sm idea what shes gonna talk on oep about my son.Otherwise they all join and create pressure .
We spend hours, everyday, with my daughter trying to finish homework. She is in 5th grade now. However, when she was in 2nd grade, we also spend so many hours at that level because she was in an international school with 9 teachers( one for each subject, including 2 languages mandarin and Spanish). So it was very tough. At that time she was not diagnosed with ADHD but I knew she had it. My husband was in denial.
We have moved a lot so my daughter is used to new school environments all her life (11 years ). She is now in public school in an excellent school district in CT, and has school accommodations.
My child is very smart, witty and funny but has sensory issues and anxiety. She is a combined ADHD case. When little, she was a very fast learner and full of energy. I couldn't keep up with her. Now she is moody, lazy, slow and very defiant. Her spark is gone. I think the social environment at school, has lowered her self esteem. Kids call her weird and she only has 2 good friends whom, I believe, also have ADD.
She is in Focaling XL in the morning and Focalin short action in the afternoon. It has helped a lot but as soon as the medicine wears off, she becomes moody, sarcastic and defiant. Not pleasant. Her sensory issues and defiant behavior, has scared away good friends. As fast as she can make friends, as fast she looses them. Sadly, She is now used to it and seems not to care. We are going to cognitive behavioral therapy and I hope it helps her regain her self-confidence.
Little by little, we are navigating this vast sea of ADD.
May I ask how much homework your daughter was getting in Grade 2 (how many subjects) ? and when you spent time on helping her homework? right after school??
My son has sensory issue (auditory mostly) and anxiety too.
He constantly asks me what to do or where to go next. Even those are all regular routines.... he has a hard time on understanding of future. He only understands past/present/tomorrow. I think this causes anxiety too.
I've looked into CBT too last year. But the counselor told me that he is still too young to understand what she's going to do because his IQ is under 70. So we might consider CBT when he matures enough.
She had a teacher for each subject: Math, English, Social Studies, Science, Art, Music, Spanish, Mandarin, Music and PE. She had homework in most subjects but Art and PE. She started school at 8:00 am and got out of school at 2:30 pm. We'll get home by 3, have a snack and go to her extracurricular activity for the day; Some days dance, swimming, Horseback riding or ice skating. We got home between 5 and 5:30 and start homework right away. She will go to the computer and log in into her Powerschool portal and began her Mandarin homework(30 min). During that time, I'll be making dinner. The Mandarin program was a lot of fun so she did it easily. Anything that has games on it, she loves. But when it came to writing, forget it. She chose to do very simple sentences because she didn't want to write. I always got notes from her English teacher requesting longer sentences. So, writing, took the longest time along with math and Social Studies. Everyday, she had to read 20 min and jot about her reading. Thus, English alone, was 1hr everyday. Spanish was easy. Again, she had to log in and go over her Spanish videos and answer questions in her workbook. Still, all that takes time (20 min). Science had very little homework(Usually, once a week). She had Math tutoring twice a week and that helped her a lot. Overall, we were working on homework from 5:30 to 7:30pm. We had a break for dinner and began again at 8:30 until 9-9:30. She'll be falling asleep between 10 and 11pm as, you may have experienced, ADD kids have tons of sleep issues ( not sleepy, not tired, waking up in the middle of the night, anxiety, night terrors, talking on their sleep....). Needless to say, our mornings were very hectic and it took a toll on all of us. We decided to narrow down the extracurricular activities to just 2 a week to have more time to finish homework earlier. It was a tough year for us.
My daughter has a high IQ 110, her communication skills are above superior. She is very smart but her lack of focus, distractibility and anxiety keeps her from excelling at school.
It took a long time for her to comprehend the concept of time. She couldn't remember the days of the week or if something happened many months ago or yesterday. And just like your son, she only understood today and tomorrow. Now, she gets it. But as you stated, back then, her executive function was working at age 4.
Now, at 11, she still loves to play with her stuffed animals and have creative play by herself. I love watching her making all kinds of games with her imaginary friends. Even at recess, she wants to play little kids games and her peers just want to talk. She gets so frustrated so she plays by herself, with kids younger than her, or reads a book. She loves to read.
The best thing we can do is educate ourselves about this disorder and advocate for our kids. Their brains just work in a different way.
Have you heard of Brain balance? It might be a program that can help your son too.
I can't imagine that many homework get done everyday!!!
My son finishes his school at 3pm and play at the playground then we come home around 4pm, have snack then I start making dinner at 4:30pm. Until dinner will be ready, he watches his cartoon on Netflix. After dinner, we play 10 minutes of his game (he only wants to do chasing game....) then mommy's game (math game) about 10-20 minutes. This is not a homework. Then dad comes home proceeding to reading a book. This is a homework. Then brush teeth, bath, then he will be in bed by 8pm. Usually he falls asleep around 8:30pm. I saw many postings here that sleep is a huge issue for some ADHD children, but my son is ok.... He sneaks into my bed (just beside his bed in the same room) during the night. I gave up to put him back to his bed as he won't!! It's another story..... I'm ok this way for now because I'm too tired to deal with fighting back and forth in the middle of the night.
Anyhow, maybe I can do writing work with him. I can make another 15 minutes to spend I guess....
With your daughter's high IQ, it might have being tough emotionally for her since she understands many things above average but uneven executive function.
She sounds very fun to be with though! My son likes imaginary play too.
It's just hard to focus on positives as we go through difficult situations more often than raising a typical child....
I saw somebody posted on this site on Brain Balance. I'm curious.... I'll look into it! Thank you!
I know its too late there now when you get time do share please
I feel your school is good have they never pressurized u for all day self contained if not your son lucky as he get two more teachers besides main teacher as well .
Other main imp question is ;
my son teacher sometimesshows me he fails in regular curriculum like in maths but dn worry I passed him bybtaking weekly of his level .test and then joining the %ages of two test Like after 2nd mp iep meeting they put pressure of self contained on me that i told already in one postand at tabt timehe failedbecause in first marking period we were out of emergency leave of 2months .
She also sometimes says me that she have kids aswell your son needs more one to one especially in maths and comprehension blah blah how do u face such challenges .but for last months she is getting better now.
Or i think i read your meetings are about behavior??
My son's school is a small school. One class each grades and there is no special education class. They have a resource teacher she is also vice-principle. I think she pulls him out twice a week (if she is still doing that) with another classmate to teach him social communication/self-regulation.
When you say self contained, do you mean special education class? or just him in a room with resource teacher alone??
So to answer your question about feeling pressured, no.
The younger assistant teacher does one on one sometimes at the hallway table or resource room but apparently he doesn't sit still and do his task.....
We get IEP meeting every term. This time, SLP, OT, behaviour consultant, and social worker will be joining the meeting. So I have to make sure that I finish addressing my concerns and get their answers within one hour.... everyone wants to talk and time flies if that happens....
Does his teacher say he fails??? It's hard to hear that....
Are they expecting him to meet the classroom pace and get good marks??
They don't seem to understand about ADHD..... Did you get formal diagnosis?
If they say he needs one on one for math, can they get an assistant teacher stay with him in the main classroom? or pull out? It doesn't have to be full day....
Ask why they are suggesting full day instead of pull out.
Do you have outside support to observe him in a class?
First of all thanxxxx alottt for your precious time .
Sorry i reply late i was super busy .
I think my son is in public school so its quite different.
Well my son was diagnosed with speech delay
dvlp delay
low iq
mild form of cerebral palsy
as my son is still more often tip toe walker while other neuro outside school said its dsnt look palsy but thru this evaluation in school he got IEP and special class called Self contained in kindergarten,
in which all day he spent with disabled kids group of 6 to 8 . That class lacked the appropriate social modeling and he started to pick other odd behaviours but no doubt that class had the benefit of more attention to kid but at too slow pace that made me scare that he will get use to of this slow pace .
That was extremly low paced class and my concern of correcting his immature behaviour was also not satisfied . That why
In first grade i raised my voice and got Inclusion class for him with one special ed teacher. You beleive my husband even talk violently overvthe ohone to social worker and said Its our right we want our son in inclusion Then they realize we will not move back .
Also i went to my school borad directly and said the school is pushing my son against my wish the school board director of special ed helped me overvthe e mails and gave orders to school child study that listen to parent as its parents right .Si u can say school lil bit in cold fight with me .
Because my point was that my son is not severely disabled to be put in self contained that a other long story i fought with school.
Now from outside school another neuro of my son is under the process of getting final diagnosis of adhd as his neuro thinks hehave but not thecerebral palsy.
In two weeks or less i will tell school for this adhd diagnosis and i think argue more with them to give him more services especially in Maths and comprehension and give him pull out so that he not get away from his peers for other subjects in which hes doing ok.
Also the pressure they put on me why u put ur son in inclusion will be gone after adhd diagnosis.
I just started medi Metadate and tomorrow his first day with that medi in school plz pray for him .
The teacher said he fails and struggles because i was outstation for two months and the avg of two marking period in maths and english came low but now its improving as well.
My son sits and try to listen but having lack focus and needs more praises and initiatives in one on one .
His teacher special ed one says i already give him a separate group of 8 attention while sitting in class around other table but my point is that give him complete pull out means out of class for few hours ffor maths and english then back to his inclusion class that he likes .
Well I m sorry my english is not that good as i m asian loll but hope u get sm idea 💡.
And i recently requested doctor to give hom medicine even if hes not get final diagnosis of adhd hyperactiv but hopefully he will in two weeks or less then i will take doc note to school .My prayers and love for ur son and best of luck for tour todays IEP .
Oh..... I'm exhausted after IEP meeting this morning..... There was the principal joined our meeting and it ended up not good..... I cried at the end of the meeting in front of everyone....
She claimed that they are struggling with me not trusting the school (mainly teacher) and I'm over communicating with them....
I haven't slept well the last one week to make agenda for this meeting but according to the principal, I'm taking their out of school hours so much....
They know that I was thinking about other school options.... but I was moving forward to stay with current school, then this happened.... I felt that they see me as a monster parent and didn't want us which the teacher came to comfort me and said that is not true. They want to make sure that they are meeting my expectations and if I trust them. They love my son.... and they don't want to loose him.
But I still don't know what I did wrong.... I checked my sent emails to the teacher and it wasn't much. Just every 2 weeks.... When she was comforting me after I cried, she said once a week is fine, but I didn't even email her more than that in the past.
I think she didn't like the context of my questions..... not frequency.
I just wanted to make sure that all the strategies are in place but apparently my approach bothered her.
And yes if you communicate more smtime they becm like this
Just like last year a social worker in front of all said me that i daily come to her office and i was like whatttttt .I said you never reply me emails and i never came daily loll so plzzz stay cool and dn get too much upset just do reasearch and relax for few days .
I dn know the rules of canada special ed may be thery are same .
check the board of ed site . If you beleive your son is in right place then let him go .
Thanks for your encouragement. I was exhausted and emotionally drained yesterday. So I couldn't reply right away.
As my son's teacher said, he can do his task if it's one on one but he can't do much in a mainstream class. So I was just thinking that he might thrive on small class like special education class, but like you mentioned well back there might be a draw back putting into that environment.
My son's language and social communication are much improved! He has nice classmates and his friendship is expanding. That's what I like about this school.
But when I think about academics, I'm not sure if he is in the right environment....
I hope you're going to have a meaningful IEP meeting next month!!
Awww does your son takes medicine and school knows he have adhd ?
Yeah you can ask them for pull out or resource room for some part of day and some part in special class .
Because i have heard school feels it easy to put in self contained class than to understand students needs and strenghts .
I am also little confuse My struggle gonna start after spring break I m praying hard and hard and focussing on my son hw and studies also I feel medicine he started 4 days ago will help.
Lots of prayers for you too.
Also may be In september i moved to different school due to family problem of my mother in law so ler see .
You also if feel too confuse try look other school or wht independent evaluation of your outside doctor say?
I m going to doc tomorrow lets see wht doctor suggest for my son i think now i will listen to doctor as she is not in my sons school may be she give better advice .
After talking to my son's SLP and behavior consultant, I was convinced that he is in a good school and in the right environment. The behavior consultant explained what special education class looks like and she didn't think it's the right environment for him and she thinks that he will be better in a mainstream class. She agrees that he needs lots of support though. So I'm going to stop searching for other schools.
Yes, he takes meds. He takes methylphenidate 20mg after breakfast. Dr. said this will probably last till the end of school but when I look at this meds, it will only last 3-4 hours.... We need to talk to the dr. next appointment. And yes, school knows he takes it and they are encouraging us to do full 5 days, but he has much less appetite ( doesn't touch his lunch during school days when he's on meds). And one time there was a doctor stop giving meds due to his weight loss.... So he currently takes Mon-Thurs 4 days a week.
On this site, not many parents talk about the side effect of low appetite. I wonder their child doesn't have that side effect or different side effect. But we'll definitely talk about different medication options at the next appointment because the school said he is worse than ever on non medicated day...... he doesn't stay in class more than 10 minutes....
I hope your son's new meds are working well. It's trial and error of this medication journey.
Awww thats great if you are satisfied May your son do more better .my love and prayers for him.
For how long your son is using this medi because i read one of ur post he takes ritalin
did u see any side effect other than wt loss. with methylphenidate???
Mine started metadate cd i think thats same of your son 5 days ago .
He started with 10 mg I see he feels trouble in evening with hw .And on monday doc appointment is coming i m not sure yet about medicine effets may be i see difference in couple of weeks.
Does this medicine reduce hyperactivity like jumping and running
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