Looking for suggestions on the most effective behavioral therapy to help my 8 year old with anger management and self control. She flies off the handle at the most minor frustrations. She takes swings at us and she hits her little sister in the back or stomach. This does not appear to be happening at school, just home. The psychologist we were working with only offered time outs as a solution. Time outs in the past have only made her more angry and things I've read recently suggest that isolation as a punishment is actually damaging. When we are able to go back out into the world I want to find a program that can help us with this as it is a real disruption to our family life.
My daughter has always had a low frustration tolerance but I feel her tendency to physically lash out got worse once we started her on stimulants last year. I don't know whether or not the methylphenidate has had anything to do with it. She has not taken it in the 5 weeks she's been off school and the behavior continues.
Thanks in advance!
Written by
mermaidsNfairies
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
Hi, I know you asked for behaviour strategies, so will suggest 1-2-3 magic, which we just started to use, but I do a time “in” I don’t make my daughter leave the room, just tell her to “take 5” and disengage so she can calm down. It seems to work. Sending her to time out was just too intense and reinforcing for her.
The non behaviour suggestion I would make is to think about adding intuniv as an adjunct to the stimulant, and dropping the stimulant dose down. This is what we are doing with our daughter and it seems to be working. We are still in the process of increasing the intuniv up. My daughter has frustration issues and major emotional regulation challenges.
The two strategies together would be my suggestion. Also read Ross Greene’s book the explosive child.
Thanks for your post. WhatI know is that having a child with ADHD is a journey.. No matter good times or bad times we always have 3 tools. We have medication (both impulse control and focus) theses stabilize him and help with behavior, we have regular counseling where he expresses his feels and we discuss issues that are on going. Then in addition we have help in school (504 plan). Yes, we still have issues but no where as bad.
I am not what tools you are using, but I strongly encourage you to see a child psychiatrist, they can help with getting proper medications, then you can help her work on her feelings.
It is very hard for children with ADHD get through a life with all the demands that are put on them, they are not like Neuro-typical kids.
Thank you for the suggestions. We had just begun seeing a psychiatrist when the pandemic hit and have not had a follow up yet, but I plan to have regular appointments once we can resume office visits.
Thank you, I'll look into the Nurtured Heart Approach. I have researched and definitely want to try broad spectrum micronutrients with her. I've been afraid to supplement without a doctor's supervision though. I feel like all our opportunities are on hold until life gets back to normal!
Look up Pax GBG and Pax Tools. Watch the videos on YouTube. Great stuff you can do with your child. Ways to reinforce positive behavior that won't cost you a lot of time or money. Scientifically proven to work in schools and homes.
Research cited by US Attorney Generals, NIDA, and National Academies of Science, Engineering & Medicine.
NIDA Notes. “Good Behavior Game Wins 2012 Mentor International Best Practice Award.” November 2012. National Institute on Drug Abuse.
While originally designed for elementary school teachers, this was expanding to tools for Parents to use to support what is done in school. Now, becoming even more important for parents while schools are closed.
I can completely relate. We were in a similar situation and do a few things. 1. We have Intuitive at night to help with emotional regulation. She also take Zoloft to assist with anxiety. 2. she started seeing a Psychologist who specializes in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. The psychologist suggested behaviors for our daughter to use to calm herself down. Breathing, tapping, visualizing a fire extinguisher and a few others. We do not offer time outs because this reinforces the bad behavior. She gets out of doing what she doesn't want to do. We tell her to breathe, think through if this is something she wants to spend her time on or would she rather work together so she can move on to something more fun. It's not a perfect system and we still have moments. Lately we are also focusing on her taking responsibility for her actions. She was trying to use words like "probably" "Maybe" "started to". No, you did throw a fit and yell and hurt our feelings. You need to apologize and change your behaviors. We'll see if it helps. Stay strong! Keep trying new things until something works for your family. Read a lot. and use this group! Man, it has helped me to feel less stress. Knowing others are out there with similar situations and that we are good parents really helps. <3
We have also added intuniv with great results. One child is also on welbutrin for depression and anxiety. Good luck on your journey.
I was exactly the same in fact I was so bad in third grade I was hospitalized for forty days I would throw rocks at people and just laugh. I grew out of it and switched to Dexedrine from Ritalin. I tried Focus factor and every nutrient you can imagine and only Magnesium Glycinate and a Bio-active B Vitamin helps. She would also need labs in particular her homocystine levels few doctors ever check that but if she is nutrient deficient it can save you a lot of money if you have it down first. I have had it done it's quite common now as is genetic testing to see if you have deficiencies like inability to process folate and it tells the best meds for your child. It told in the testing that anything methylphenidate based is strictly prohibited , but not amphetamines. Get the science and evidence based strategies down before you blow money on supplements that will most likely have no effect.
Thank you for reaching out to CHADD's National Resource Center on ADHD. Raising children who have ADHD can present many challenges including behavior and impulse control.
For behavioral therapy, you can check CHADD's Professional Directory to see if there are other behavioral therapists in your area. You can access the Directory here: chadd.org/professional-dire... .
Also, the Triple P-Positive Parenting Program has been helpful for many families. For more information on the Triple P program, you can access their website here: triplep-parenting.com/us/tr... .
I am not sure if this is helpful as you probably already do it but the one thing I’ve found to at least shorten my sons outbursts (they sound exactly the same) is to remain calm. When he escalates I was escalating and making it worse (hard not to when he’s punching and screaming at me or his brother), now everything I say is in a calm quiet voice and it seems to be helping, I think he’s even doing it a bit less too 🤷🏼♀️ I know it doesn’t stop them altogether or help how he’s feeling but it’s helped with the intensity level of the house
Content on HealthUnlocked does not replace the relationship between you and doctors or other healthcare professionals nor the advice you receive from them.
Never delay seeking advice or dialling emergency services because of something that you have read on HealthUnlocked.
Flippant and not learning from behavior consequences...
Feeling frustrated with the school and how it is dealing with my son who seams to be showing all the signs of ADHD
Diagnosis Age
ADHD low level reading 
