I’m new here. My daughter was diagnosed this year with ADHD. She is in kindergarten and was so excited so start school. A few weeks into school the teacher came to me saying she thought she had ADHD as she couldn’t sit still or stop talking and wouldn’t follow directions. Meanwhile at home she was having emotional melt downs about school and would tell me mom I don’t know why everyone stares at me, I don’t know why I can’t lay still at rest time or mom what’s wrong with me. She has cried her self to sleep while I sit there holding her multiple nights. I feel so helpless. We finally seen our pediatrician in October and started concerta. Teach seen a big improvement and so did we at home. About 40 day of taking that medication she refused to take the pill saying it made her feel funny or that she just didn’t want to take it. After seeing her doctor again she got a chewable concerta and all was well at least we thought... I had noticed while she was taking the chewable pill that she had started to withdraw from activities she normally like.. she wanted to stop dance and was happy laying on her bed all day.. it wasn’t till thanksgiving that I really noticed the side effects she was having.. she sat for over 2 hrs brushing a dolls hair during family thanksgiving dinner and then just wanted to leave and no be around people. Went to the movies the next day and she started crying but couldn’t tell me why. Sat at the Christmas parade on my lab and didn’t get up to get candy.. this was when I decided to stop this chewable pill we had an upcoming appt with her doctor and just needed 2 days of school to get to the appt. We still had some concerta on hand and tried to get the med down. We had one successful day and the next while I was trying to have her take her pill in the office the teacher came in telling my daughter she was wasting class time and needed to hurry up and get back to class... I was the least bit happy and took her back home with me for the day as the teacher proceeded to tell me that I was rewarding her by doing this. I think my child’s emotional well being is more important than any day of school! She doesn’t deserve to have a bad day because she can’t focus. Anyway she started a new pill that we can open up and just take the beads in apple sauce.. we made it to Christmas break with only a few melt downs. Fast forward to now a week and a few days since break and I feel like we’re back to square one.. she came home last week very tearful multiple times stating that she didn’t get to go to recess because she couldn’t finish her work so she had to stay in and finish it.. while she was explaining this she also tells me she’s afraid to ask for help in the classroom because other kids are told you need to do it yourself.. she also has been told that no no we don’t cry in the classroom.. when I asked the teacher about the recess I was told that it is her procedure and it’s a privilege to have recess. And she also went on to say once she’s held in the refuses to do her work... this makes no since to me why you would keep a child who is 5 with ADHD inside!! Why not let her get those wiggles out and come back ready to restart..
sorry this was so long just needed to rant as I feel like I have no one that can relate to our situation or that understands ADHD.
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lucky_one
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Wow - I’m real sorry to hear that! Finding the right medication is definitely a trial, and I’m sorry the teacher isn’t more sympathetic during this time (especially for Kindergarten!) I’m kind of shocked she came straight out and said ADHD - usually in my situation, teachers will comment on behaviors, but won’t directly say ADHD unless a diagnosis is already made. Public school at least can be open to liabilities in that situation.
I would consider talking to the teacher as a partner in trying to work together to help your daughter in school. Learn all you can about ADHD from reliable resources, maybe send some to her to read. There are a variety of techniques the teacher can use - and maybe she already is using some. At my sons school, most of the accommodations are already built into K & 1st. And definitely request a little more flexibility while you are searching for the best medication & dosage.
My son has had to miss @5 mins of recess to finish school work. It was motivating for him, and didn’t happen very often (and hasn’t at all since we found a good medication fit.) But if it’s a regularly occurring thing, I would talk with the teacher about other options or ways to motivate your daughter to get work done. Because yes, regularly having ADHD kids miss recess is just going to shoot everyone in the foot.
I am so sorry you’ve had such an awful experience. If this is a public school... in Texas we cannot use recess as punishment. In addition, I would consider having your daughter in the 504 program so that she can be given instructional accommodations that will force teachers, like the one you are describing, to work with your child to meet her unique needs. My daughter was diagnosed in Kinder as well. I took her to a therapist for a year to work on coping skills and it seemed to really help. She is now in 2nd grade and we have an appointment tomorrow to consider medication. In the mean time I am always upfront with her teachers and let them know that she WILL talk, she will get distracted and she more often than not needs to be told more than once... some years we get amazing teachers that are understanding and patient but this isn’t always the case. Regardless, never stop advocating for your child!
It's difficult to watch our children struggle. It is in us to try to make things better. I really want to encourage you to look into broad spectrum micronutrients. They were recommended by our psychiatrist, and my son, who has struggled for many years, has finally found success. There are two companies, Hardy Nutritionals and True Hope. I wish you and your daughter the best, and the strength to face each day!
I know it’s so hard!! We started our daughter on medication in pre-k and have had to make a few adjustments. Intuniv helps with the emotional outbursts and keeps her calmer, and we have been on adderall and now we are on adzenys. It is trial and error with medication, but if you are at a public school, bring her diagnosis from her doctor and ask for a meeting with the counselor for a 504. She needs accommodations to assist her, and if this teacher cannot understand, educate her. There should be a behavior therapist in the county that can help with that.
Don’t give up and always advocate for her. We understand the fight and how hard it is!
I am so sorry. The teacher sounds old school and like a real piece of work. I would ask to change classes first of all and find a teacher who understands accommodations. I would pursue an IEP or accommodation plan so teachers must accommodate. Also keep trying with meds. You will find the right fit and dosage! It took us maybe 8 meds. Now my son is on Dyanavel xr liquid and he is himself for the most part with some appetite suppression. School isn’t perfect but after starting the school year with a pretty horrible teacher who made him feel completely in adequate for all his shortcomings, we switched to another classroom with wonderful teachers who are supportive and it has made all the difference. I cannot stress enough the need to switch to a new teacher and to meet with the principal and tell them exactly what it is you need and why. Best of luck to you All ❤️
Hello lucky_one. Your story sounds oh so familiar to many of us on here. My son also was diagnosed with ADHD in kindergarten. He is now 12 and has been on about 6 different medication trials. All of the medications have some level of side effects. It can take several different trials to find the right medication. Don't get discouraged. Just keep track of her side effects and promptly report them to her prescribing doctor. If you don't like the side effects, switch to a different medication. I recall my son being a zombie with no emotion on one medication. On another he just wanted to sleep all day long. He is currently on Ritalin and is doing well.
Does your daughter have an IEP or 504? If not, you might want to see if you can establish one at her school. The teachers will need to be on board with all the modifications and accommodations in the plan once it is set up. Sadly, your daughter's current teacher is not on board at all. Making a 5 y.o. skip recess is cruel. If she has ADHD she is going to take longer to complete work. Being forced to do it while everyone else is outside is going to lead to crying, frustration and a lack of interest in coming to school. I would address this directly with the teacher. If there is no change in her strict rules, go to the principal.
School should be a place children look forward to coming to and not a place that creates anxiety, depression and overwhelming feelings. Hugs to you and your baby girl.
My grandsons were also diagnosed in kindergarten and I went through the same struggles with recess. The school finally stopped taking away recess from kids. If they got in trouble they would have to walk a circle the first five minutes and then they could go and play. The worst thing for a child with ADHD is to never get any outlet for that pent up energy.
The struggles with finding the right meds continue as the boys are in their teens and old meds ceases working. Don't give up. When you find the right medication or combination it is a miracle.
I am so sorry your daughter is having such a disappointing kindergarten experience. I agree with others that you and she need some more help and support from the school- an IEP would be a good start. My son's kindergarten teacher took away recess once and I explained that she was sort of shooting herself in the foot. Kids with ADHD often need physical activity to help regulate themselves. No child should be deprived of recess, especially very young children. What was she like before she went to kindergarten? Has her behavior changed? It sounds like maybe she and the teacher are not a good match? Is there any chance anxiety is a source of some of her current challenge? I wish I could help and I am sorry you are both going through such a hard time.
A medication suggestion for you. You know those apple sauce or yogurt pouches? The way we started giving our kids medication was sticking the pill on in the top of the pouch then squirting it in their mouth. We’ve never had an issue with them taking pills since and it opens up lots of medication options for you. The school nurse was shocked at how easily our kids take pills. The pediatrician is recommending it to other parents. Also, yes it takes time to figure out the right medication.
My son doesn't have ADHD, however he does have Autism and Tourette's Syndrome. When he was in kindergarten, I remember his teacher telling me she thought he needed to go to a school for severely disabled children. In reality, that wasn't what he needed at all. He is not severely disabled. He just learns differently and has different needs. He just needed to have a teacher who understood how to work with children like him. He continued to be mainstreamed through third grade. After that, I found out about an autism program at another public school. The class only had 8 kids in it and the teacher was highly trained. It was her first year teaching in an autism unit but prior to that she was a behavioral specialist. They also had two assistants in the classroom.
Having him in a class that was smaller so that the teacher had more time to devote to him was huge. He went from failing because the teacher didn't have time for him, to making straight A's. He is now starting high school next fall and we are back to square one because the autism program has changed and they are now mainstreaming everyone again. I don't understand why they are doing it and I think it's a terrible idea. Not every students fits into a nice little box with a pretty bow on top.
Just recently, I discovered a private school for typical and special needs students and I'm feeling very hopeful. I had been praying for that and I stumbled across this school in the most random way. It feels like such an answer to prayer. Having him in the right environment with people who understand him makes a tremendous impact.
It sounds like this teacher may not be equipped to handle students with different needs. It feels like as parents we shouldn't have to fight so hard for our children's education but sadly, this is more the norm. There are so many children with varying needs. I wish there were more programs. They are out there, tough. Sometimes you just really have to look (and pray) to find the right one.
I am currently going through this with my 6 year old son in his kindergarten class. I had him evaluated through the school. He now has an iep and a plan that will help him with breaks that he needs in the class or he is given extra time to take test and assignments. I would definitely look in to getting your daughter evaluated through the school.
I don’t know if you worked out the recess issue with the school, but if the teacher is still withholding recess I would go in and speak with the principal. If your daughter doesn’t finish work in class time, could it not be sent home for her to finish with you as homework? She is only in kindergarten!! We put such crazy expectations on kids these days. We ended up switching our daughters school after a terrible experience, having understanding teachers makes all the difference in their early school experience. I would try to make changes in the short term with the school, but would also look for a better school if you can.
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