My son is in 2nd grade and is sent home with a chart of his day and if he was able to do three things in each part of the day(stay on task, stay in his area, remain calm).
But the teacher also writes down every wrong thing he does all day long. It always in a negative tone and she quotes things that he says. She, also, does not write a single good thing about him even on the days he has good marks.
I get very confused too when she writes that he did something bad in for example library but then he tells me he got a reward in there for doing something good.
Is this normal or is it bulling or does she really not understand that comments should be constructive not destructive? My reaction to her comments does not make me like her or want to work with her at all.
My son is really defiant towards her but does well with other adults and me. He says that she talks to him in an angry voice, will not listen to him, and is always in his bubble. She has also given him bad marks based on what other students claim he did without witnessing it herself.
I have already had to report her for violating FERPA when she told my son's class (while he was not in the room) that he was off his medicine and like her and he insulin he just needed to take it (he is on Intuniv but had side effects from Vyvanse and begged to be off it).
Is this what I should just expect from teachers from now on? His IEP meeting is coming up soon. Is there anything I can do or request to help prevents this going forward next year?
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Dsmith05
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Dsmith05- I am glad that you wrote this message to the group. Thanks for being such a great advocate for your son. I assume you are talking about a teacher that has a general education background and is not trained to work with children with special issues. I recommend you have an educational plan (IEP OR 504 plan) for him so that he is protected no matter what teacher it is or what year. Then you will be assigned a person who know how to work with children with extra needs. This plan should be detailed as to the things he needs. I assume you have a health care plan due to his need for insulin.
The chart is only good if the entire picture is shown and I am sure he is not displaying negative behavior. This chart needs to include the positive things that happen and he needs to be rewards. Yes, it is great that you reported that she is speaking about him and any need he has to the class, unless this is something you requested.
Have you tried some things that might help like therapy, and accommodations in school? I think these could help.
My daughter had a teacher like this in 3rd grade. When I would go to pick her up at school I would hide to avoid this teacher because I got so tired of hearing all the bad stuff every day. I didn't know enough back then about mental illness to stand up for my kid.
How does she think he's going to improve if all she does is criticize. She needs to find good things to put down to to encourage him. Violating his privacy telling the other kids about medication is a big no no.
Hopefully he won't have her next year. But when you go for your IEP meeting make sure you put positive reinforcements into his plan.
My son had a teacher like that in the 2nd grade. She was very inexperienced and did not know how to get him to function in the classroom. She constantly sent him out in the hall, and isolated him because she didn't know what to do. It put him in a very negative state of mind and he became even more disruptive. A person like that can damage your child's self esteem and then it takes you years to undo the damage they did, due to their own ignorance and lack of experience. I would highly recommend you put the spotlight on this teacher as much as possible and constantly question her negativity with the school. Ask her what are your son's STRENGTHS. My son was defiant with this teacher because she made him feel terrible about himself, and then he was also defiant to others as well. It was not his fault he was being treated badly. It's not the child's fault that they are struggling and don't know what to do. If the teacher is gen ed and doesn't know how to deal with children who have extra challenges, then it's up to the teacher to ask for support within the school. You also need to point that out to the school, and don't give up. They probably won't listen until you repeat it numerous times and they know that you are not going to give up on it.
First let me say, I’m so sorry you are having issues with the teacher. They are so important in the success of our children.
My daughter (7G) has a very detailed behavior chart that her teacher fills out every day. We have found a tremendous improvement in her behavior since the teacher implemented it. Her teacher did let us know that she wanted to start the chart and spoke to us about what she found was most important. We relayed our hopes for the chart as well and provided input. Our daughter cannot self-regulate and has had a hard time understanding how her actions affect others. Other kids seem to be able to read cues while it might take ten times for my daughter to get it. My daughter has done well with having a goal to reach and improving week-to-week with getting to a “perfect” day.
I think one of the most important things is the communication with the teacher so you understand what everything on the behavior chart means (our teacher writes down when she did something exceptionally well even if it was overall not a great listening day). If something is unclear, I email her teacher. Perhaps you can loop in the principal or the counselor at school on all correspondences with the teacher? In our experience, the chart has been a great tool. Sorry yours has not been the same but perhaps it can be salvaged by working it out with the school. Big hugs!
This is a teacher and probably a school that needs the Pax Good Behavior Game. Go to goodbehaviorgame.org and see how Pax works. GBG has been cited by two US Surgeon Generals, numerous Institute of Medicine (now National Academies of Science, Engineering & Medicine) reports, researched in clinical studies for 40 years, and is the ultimate "Evidenced-Based Best Practice program and Positive Behavioral Intervention System." Pax uses short "game" periods where "spleems"(Trademarked by Paxis Inst.) are counted by teams (not individuals) and teams earn short physical activity rewards (15 seconds of dancing!) for having less than 4 spleems (made up word meaning anything that detracts from a happy class- you have to smile when you say it). When a timer goes off, children return to working. What this does is something NOTHING else (done in the name of discipline/improving behavior) does: It provides actual physical practice in SELF-Control several times a day. This actually strengthens the decision-making circuits in the prefrontal cortex of the brain enabling children to self-regulate better and improve in every aspect of their lives. Proven to improve time-on-task, grades, graduation rates and college admits in long-term studies. In 2010 NIDA Chief prevention scientist Dr. Elizabeth Robertson said if GBG were widely implemented in elementary schools, the public health impact could be HUGE! Good for every kid in the class and takes the focus off individuals, allows for mistakes, but provides a means to correct behavior without scapegoating anyone or rewarding negative behavior done for attention seeking. Long term it reduced substance abuse, smoking, violence, depression, suicide and other negatives by 35% to 70% in a study by Johns Hopkins started in 1986 on first graders and continuing to this day. Do the research, google Pax GBG.
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