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ADHD Parents Together
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Still having school problems

So my son has been on concerta for over a month and his teachers still complain. Especially his reading/writing iep teacher. She always telling him your not focused and screaming. He can’t stand her. He has her at the end of the day. She is always saying he is disrespectful to her and doesn’t listen. But his version is, he would be working on something and she comes along and is like your still on number 3. You need to finish. Or his headphone jack isn’t working to hear the test and he lets her know. She tells him oh well you are just going to have to do it like that. She wrote him up for talking to his neighbors, when she asked him not to. Then other kids call him names and when he says something back he gets in trouble. I am not saying he is innocent, but how is he suppose to like you if you are always down his back. I thought he would be better off in there, but it’s just worse. Also he says they are always giving him extra work other then the class assignments. Is this for data purposes or what. He is frustrated and I am sick of the school. Any advice

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I would ask for a change in classes immediately. Can your son have PE or something easy at the end of the day? His Concerta has most likely worn off and his teacher obviously has no idea how to teach ADHD kids. If he doesn't already have an IEP or 504 Plan, then ask for one. That makes changes in classes, teachers, much easier.

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I totally agree ask to get him moved to a different teacher

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This situation is very similiar to what we have had in the past. It doesn't sound like he is having these issues in other classes. As soon as kids with ADHD have their minds made up that they do not like a teacher ( with good reason, who wants to be yelled at) it will not go well at all. I agree with the others, we have to request for harder academic classes to be in the Am when the medication is on board and PE or electives in the afternoon. Or you give a booster dose at school towards the end of the day with the school nurse becuase his medication is not in his system any more. This is not worth fighting, change teachers and classes unless he is willing to stay the course until the end of the year.

It is easy to see both side (yelling is never a good thing) but she is trying to get him to do the work and he doesn't have medication on board so it is harder to control his behavior. Yes, it might mean changing a bunch of classes to fix this, or you wait it out and learn from it.

Best of luck..

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I totally agree with all of you. We have had so many meetings about building a relationship with him. I always get 2 sides to the story. Unfortunately this is the only schedule he can do and can’t switch class times. This is his iep teacher. I feel guilty for pushing an iep for him. He is more miserable than any other year and he blames me. I know he isn’t perfect. But understand that it’s not his fault he is not focused and telling him to focus doesn’t help. In our meetings I have expressed that they are not a good match. If we do finish up this year. I hope next year she isn’t his iep teacher. I asked his father to have a meeting with my son and her, so he can explain to her what is bothering him. Maybe then she will understand. I really don’t k so what else to do.

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I would suggest you meet with her supervisor and have a serious discussion and say, if this happens we need this to happen. So if she raises her voice or tells him to focus, I want a new teacher. When I am in your shoes I think about a few years from now when my child is not at that school and he has gained some maturity.

I then would buy a digital timer and say, my son will work for X amount of time, then he gets X amount of time for a break. Make an agreement with your son. You work for X amount of time you get a break. Then he knows when his break will come.

So you are not just complaining you have a solution, and your son must "buy" into it or it will not work.

In the meeting you also tell them to make plans to change the teacher next year. Then check in before the beginning of the year and make sure it has been changed. Tell your son this is the plan, so he knows there is an end in sight. Then make sure if you are not going to give him or medication make sure he has PE last period of the day.

These are hard steps, as a parent but this is how I would deal with it. See how this goes and if success it would be good to add this to the iep.

Take care

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Hi, you mentioned this is your son's IEP teacher. Truly, if this is the special education teacher, she is not qualified to work with your son. She should not be yelling at him, assigning extra work or giving him a hard time if he takes longer than other students. Arrange a meeting with the school principal to address your concerns. Be sure to document in writing the concerns (via e-mail is best). You can also include the IEP team lead to this meeting so it is documented.

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Thank you for your reply. She is also saying he disrespectful towards her. But none of the other teachers find him disrespectful.

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What is PE .

And on what basis we can have PE.

My son have adhd

And mild autism and slow processing

Can i get that.

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PE is just Physical Education- what they are calling gym class these days.

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Your son, and all children, deserve better than this. I don't care how difficult a child is, a competent teacher's responsibility is to approach all children with love and respect, and without imposing their "negative" emotions on the child . This teacher clearly does not adhere to these responsibilities. She doesn't understand your child, or does not WANT to understand him. I believe there are too many teachers who have difficulty with handling children who have difficulties. Are the difficulties some children have in school, especially if a child has ADHD, easy for these teachers? No. Do they still have a responsibility to be respectful to a child, even if a child is not respectful? Yes, they do. Children are children. We are adults. This teacher does not sound respectful of your child. I believe that this should not be tolerated. She has no right, no matter how angry she feels toward him (and she needs to examine that), to humiliate or disrespect him in ANY way. This behavior has been tolerated from teachers WAY too long and needs to stop. It is abuse. Unfortunately, there is no law that deems it illegal for teachers to be disrespectful to a child. It may sound radical, but in my opinion there should be such a law. So, since you do not have the law on your side in this regard, I understand that you need solutions concerning what to do so that his teacher will not cause harm to your child and undermine your child's development.

You stated a number of things: "She always telling him your not focused and screaming", "she comes along and is like your still on number 3", "Or his headphone jack isn’t working to hear the test and he lets her know. She tells him oh well you are just going to have to do it like that", "She wrote him up for talking to his neighbors, when she asked him not to", "he says they are always giving him extra work other then the class assignments", and "other kids call him names and when he says something back he gets in trouble". NONE OF THESE ARE ACCEPTABLE! THIS IS NOT A COMPETENT TEACHER!

My advice is to:

- take your son out of this teacher's class and have him re-assigned to a new teacher

- write all of these problems down, and bring these issues to the attention of the principal.

- State that you want to have a meeting with the principal and the teacher to resolve these (and other) issues in a positive, productive, respectful, loving way.

- Find out how much this teacher and the other teachers know about ADHD and be prepared to teach them what they don't know (it sounds like his current teacher doesn't know a lot about it, or else it sounds like she doesn't care about or is able to deal with your son's ADHD and just wants to punish his behavior).

- Once you, the principal, and the teacher (and whoever else can/should be involved) come up with solutions, hold his teachers (and the "team") accountable for them. Make sure to do this in a non-confrontational, rational way. It sounds like an IEP is definitely needed for your child (so you can have the law on your side, among other things). Does he already have one? If not, get one (have your son get an evaluation, etc.), and make sure that it includes the solutions you have generated.

- Research other schools. Some people say that if your child has problems from school to school that it proves that it is your child who has the problem, and not the teachers/school. FALSE! What IS true is that there are incompetent teachers (or at the very least teachers with incompetency in various areas) at every school, and that your child is bound to have at least one of them.

- Consider homeschooling.

These are just some of the things that I can think of right now. There's a lot more. The most important thing is that your child has a positive, healthy school experience. I understand that some children can have difficulties that are overwhelming for teachers, but in these cases I believe that teachers should find positive, mentally healthy, productive solutions for any difficulties that students have. If they cannot do this, then I believe that the teacher is incompetent and should not be teaching until they learn how to truly do so. They should seek out help with THEIR difficulties. Teaching is not just about academics.

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Hello again,

I just read some of the other responses (and yours). So your son does have an IEP. Who is monitoring whether or not and how effectively it is being implemented? Do you feel that the goals/services/accommodations fully reflect and are solutions to all of your son's struggles and needs? If not, you can and should negotiate changes.

Clearly this IEP teacher should not be working as such. I would clearly remove your son from her.

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My son is also on concerta. He has the same issues. Last week we were in a field trip and they had a scavenger hunt and my son was having difficulty keeping up. When he is on his meds he is like a zombie and zones out. I asked the teacher if he was normally like this and she said yes! Like she couldn’t have mentioned that to me? It is very difficult, with out meds more hyper and less focused and with meds more focused but zoning in and out. Sadly a lot of the teachers don’t have knowledge or they decide your kid is a bad student. Whatever I will make sure my son succeeds.

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