Bad day in school...

[Sebastian28]

Hello everyone,

My son Sebastian had a very difficult day on Thursday and unfortunately his teacher was absent. The substitute was cruel to him. I totally understand how stressful can be to deal with him but there was no need to treated him bad. She told him how a horrible and terrible kid he was. When my sister picked him up the substitute couldn’t wait to tell her and everyone else around that he had a terrible day. My sister said "we are working on it" and Mrs. H said "NO, I do not think so" When I got home I asked my son how was his day and he broke down and said “mommy I’m a horrible kid”. Broke my heart... I brought it to the principals and the psychologist attention because he went to sleep sad and woke up on Friday morning saying that he was a horrible kid... He is usually extremely active in the mornings...but he didn’t want to talk or have breakfast.

As soon as he was diagnosed with ADHD & ODD my first fear was that he might be treated differently...

All I know is that I won’t give up on my sunshine….if that means to go to his school every day…I will be there!

[reg2018]

One of the biggest challenges with our ADHD kids is keeping their self-esteem intact. I tell my kids that we all have bad days and that doesn't make us horrible people. Your son is so lucky to have you!

[Sebastian28 in reply to reg2018]

We explained that maybe she was having a bad day too ..that she didn't meant to. But he still having a hard time and said when Mrs. Campos doesn't go to class can you please not take me... sad.

Thank you for your kind words...

[ha11 in reply to Sebastian28]

yes ur explanation for that teacher looks okk for him.

Daily tell him you have to be brave and never sad your mom and familybis here to hug u luv u such things i daily tell to my son .

Thanx Almighty God he likes his teachers right now.

[Cjkchamp]

It hurts your heart when your child hurts. They are good kids but choices they make are not always the best and when people interact with them who are not familiar with this it makes for a bad situation. Does your son have an IEP at school? My son has a paraprofessional and on days the teacher is gone the special education does check ins with him to see how things are going. It helps when others who know your child can pick up the slack when the familiar teacher is not there. I know I’m tooting the horn on this nurtured heart approach, but I saw my son light up yesterday morning when I thanked him for helping me by recognizing I hadn’t had a chance to fill it and he did it himself. I told him it showed how much he cared about me and how responsible he is. It was like fireworks. We have to rebuild their self esteem because for many years they have been beaten down with the words no and bad. Good luck!!

[Sebastian28 in reply to Cjkchamp]

He was diagnosed on February 2nd... I already requested an evaluation at school too. They are taking a bit long to give me the consent form for his evaluation. But i am working closely with his teacher and the psycologist. I even reduced my work hours to spend more quality time with him. He loves to cook... so every night i thanked him for helping and making dinner.

Thank you for your time and kind words.

[Brownstoner in reply to Sebastian28]

You’re awesome!! Your son really needs & depends on u!! Keep it up. I know your feelings

[ha11]

hes not horrible luv him hug himmm my love and prayers for him . you should complain that teacher😣😣😣😡

[ha11]

Also please research all ur rights as well in valuations to decisionn never get weaknin frontbof school and dont rush to sign papers every time you go at IEP🙂 Best of luck

[Sebastian28 in reply to ha11]

Thank you for your time.... We are doing our best to help our child...

[Helene143]

Be a advocate for your son. Learn your rights as a parent and research for resource outside of school. Good luck with your son. Regardless what anybody says you know your son best. He is more than what bad teachers think and he needs to be reminded everyday.

[22789]

Report the situation In writing to school administration. The school failed your son. The teacher should not talk to any student in that manner. The substitute should have been informed especially since you already requested an assessment. Doesn’t matter that the school has not provided an assessment plan for your consent.

The US DOE, Office of Civil Rights issued ADHD and 504: A Resource Guide In July 2016 to all schools because 2,000 of 16,000 complaints received were from parents of students with ADHD. Your son by default is already protected because of his diagnosis. I wish you the best as you pursue an IEP or 504 Plan.

[dmk24]

Hi,

I am so sorry your son went through that. I completely agree with 22789 above as far as getting informed, knowing your rights and advocating for your son.

As a current substitute teacher (and former classroom teacher), it makes me sad to hear what this one said to your son and to others about him. I would request that your son's teacher (any future teachers as well) leave information about your son and his diagnosis - what helps him, can he go to a "safe place" when his teacher isn't there, having someone check on the him (and the rest of the class).

I would absolutely write a letter to the principal and the district administration. This substitute may have had a bad day, but that is not an excuse to treat children poorly and say hurtful things. She should not be in the classroom. Remember to stick to facts when you do write it. We are so involved with our children, it is hard to keep the emotions out of it, but it will have bigger impact with the facts about the incident.

Good luck and praise him for the things he does right every time!

[Sebastian28 in reply to dmk24]

Hi,

I just requested the principal to leave my son's diagnosis at his classroom. I truly appreciated your time and advice

[anirush]

Substitute teacher will throw our kids day into turmoil to start with. In my school just took it doesn't take much to be a sub so I don't know how well they are trained.

You need to request an IEP or 504 in writing. Mailing it certified proves that they actually got it. They have 10 days after such a request to meet with you. That's federal law

[ExplosivesMom]

My son is 9, very verbal and hyper, but extremely bright and teachers expect a lot of him. He does well for a bit and then reverts to not doing his work or his homework. Occasionally he falls asleep in class and I hear about it after the fact. Overall, he has been pretty well-behaved at school until recently. He is called out for being off task, teasing other kids, making a mustache with a french fry, throwing tater tots across the table and recently throwing a pencil across the room. Most recently he was asked to get out of his chair and when he wouldn't, the resource officer was called to the room and he picked him up by his collar and moved him. Obviously we were upset by this and my husband asked them to call him next time he got so obstinate. We are at a loss at how to keep him interested in school and to have his needs met. He has a 504 but the token accommodations don't seem to be enough. We feel he is gifted and talented, but his performance is holding him back.

[Ticcitoby]

I know how your son feels. He is not alone I was called out by the teacher because I couldn't sit still.

[Sebastian28 in reply to Ticcitoby]

I know he tells me everyday i want to do good mom but its hard to stay still... breaks my hurt when i taken him to school and before his blessing he will tell me... i will do my best for you.