I need some support

[vivian2222]

Hello everyone,

My son was diagnosed with ADHD a couple of months ago. His psychiatrist started him in concerta and the very next day he stated that he could see everything so different. I was so excited, he began to read and search about History which he hated before. However, he started to have chest pain and we had to stop the medication. He has nephrotic syndrome and he has to take other strong meds that interacted with concerta. I have never asked anyone about adhd symptoms, I usually search and read a lot. Now, I really want to know if any other kid acts like him. He is very sensitive and emotional, he argue a lot, if his brother say white he says black 😢 he seems to be immature for his age (he is 12) he doesn’t get jokes or clues, he speaks extremely fast to the point that I don’t understand what he says, he doesn’t know how to tell a story like if he is watching something he starts telling me about it like I was watching it with him, he is extremely loud and interrupt all the time. He come up with this non sense statement when we have friends over like he doesn’t know how to act or what to say. If we are all sitting having dinner and talking, he talks about something completely different and is hard for him to hold a conversation about the same subject. I love him with all my heart and I want him to be happy. Please any advice would be great

[Janice_H]

Good morning Vivian, so sorry to hear about the interraction. I'm sure that was quite scary. What you describe sounds very similar to my son with ADHD. My son tends to behave, think and react to situations as though he is much younger than he is. He has difficulty with expressing himself, speaks loudly, interrupts, changes the topic at hand. It is as though his mind is somewhere else most of the time.

Please know that you are not alone in what you are experiencing. I think their minds are just constantly on the go and they have trouble processing things because of this. I pray for patience regularly and keep reminding myself that he is different.

[vivian2222 in reply to Janice_H]

Thank you so much for your reply, knowing that I am not alone give me peace. Many blessings

[Madmarie in reply to vivian2222]

This is pretty typical of my son as well. He’s 10 diagnosed when he was 7. He has a learning disability, and odd. We have been through a journey for sure. I guess the biggest issues include his inability to control, and regulate his emotions. This has caused a lot of issues at home, and at school. He’s been on medication for a little over 3yrs. now. The thing I’ve had to realize is that medication has helped a lot, but there are still things that go beyond the medication. He’s doing so much better at school, but is still very far behind his peers, both academically, and emotionally. Friendships are tough, he what’s to be part of a group, and to be liked so much. It’s heartbreaking to watch him struggle in this area. The thing that has helped me is to try not and focus on all the negatives, and worries. ADHD. Is so complex, and it can really turn a house hold, and your world upside down if you let it. It’s even more difficult in my situation I’m divorced from his dad. We have a terrible co-parenting relationship. His dad is not for medication, and very much is in denial about our sons issues. He doesn’t have the patience or the understanding to deal with our sons behavior or emotions, this has caused many issues. I can’t let that get in my way of doing what’s best for my son. We have really good days, and some not so good days. I try to build on the good, and move on from the bad. This site as been such a great resource. I wish you the best, and I hope you can find a solution to help your son.

[vivian2222 in reply to Madmarie]

Thank you so much for your advice. You are a great mom for sure and God will bless you greatly. We should start field trips so our kids can make friends with other kids that can certainly understand what is to have adhd

[Fozzy24]

Hello Vivian. My son too was similar to yours. He is now 15yrs and we did choose for him to take medication. He has Elvanse. This allowed him to focus and organise his thoughts better. We used a lot of breathing exercises to help him to slow down and lots of movement and exercise before he was attending a stressful situation. I used to steer him to talk about something he was confident with and give him tasks when people were round. In charge of drinks etc. We worked on more positives outcomes of what we wanted him to do. We also only told him nearer the time what was happening so he didn't get highly anxious. He also saw a cranial oestopath to calm down his nervous system. My fella is doing so well now but we did move him to a college where he was able to do a reduced timetable at 14 yrs.

You will get there. Pick out his strengths and promote those. Best wishes Carmen

[vivian2222 in reply to Fozzy24]

Hello Carmen,

You have no idea how you words helped me. Sometimes I don’t know how to handle the situation and I just cry. I want him to be happy

Thank you again

Vivian

[Fozzy24 in reply to vivian2222]

Hi Vivian. It's good to share as sometimes you do feel alone and that nobody understands. I cried lots, hit a very low period when his behaviours were uncontrollable and worried for his future but these children do have amazing strenghts. They are

Just hidden quite deep because the overwhelming behaviours are so high. X

[Onthemove1971 in reply to Fozzy24]

I love your post!! The one thing I would add that really helpes me is to not stress about the future. Try to tackle what is happening today.. it is way to much to imagine how he will be in the future. Our psychologist told us that the more he matures the better the side effects of ADHD become. So I can't worry about tomorrow, just make the best I can today.

It really helps us to go for one-on-one counseling because medication only works on %60 of the issues, %40 must be modifying and behavior training.

The good times are great and we ride through the bad times.

Beat of luck

[WendyKirkpatrick]

I have a 31 year old son who still has ADHD issues. We learned that behavior modification is very helpful and there are numerous books out about it. Things like rewarding him for good grades and correct behavior, making him repeat a task if he does not do it properly, discussing good v. bad judgment, etc. really help. Plus an allowance for performing weekly tasks and home and doing school work. My son also got very sick from medications and we had nothing but trouble with the schools because of it. Please understand that schools just want your child drugged so they won't be a behavior problem. You can get your son special ed. services by writing to the school district, special education department and request an evaluation. Your tax dollars already pay for it and it is your right and your son's right. Because of everything we have been through, I self-published a book on amazon.com under books that I wrote and illustrated myself called "I have A.D.D. and I'm Proud to be Me." If you read this book with your son, it will open the door to communication so you can learn more about what HE feels, wants and needs. It will help him to trust his parents more and tell you what is going on from HIS perspective. He needs to learn what he is GOOD AT and WHAT HE DOES WELL and WHAT HE TALENTS ARE, so he can learn to value himself as a human being and learn to accept his condition and work around it, to develop into the self-accepting and self-liking young man he will grow into. My son is now a teaching assistant for children with special needs and he loves it. He found his station in life. Sometimes the answers are in front of us - -in the heart of our child. I hope my book helps, but in either case, I wish you and your family well in your search. Wendy Kirkpatrick

[ASMomma00]

Everything you’ve described sounds like my daughter. My daughter’s pshyciatrist said kids with ADHD can be immature and tend to lag about 3 years behind their peers in maturity but will catch up eventually.

[SylvieS]

I’m so sorry to hear that your son had to be taken off of a medication that was helping him. That must have been so hard. My son has ADHD and is so similar to what you describe. He is incredible sensitive. He will argue a point until no one wants to be in the same room with him and then pick up the next day to argue it again. He is so in his own head most of the time and does not let anyone else finish a sentence. I hope it helps to know that you are not alone and that someone else out there is experiencing very similar behaviors.

[vivian2222 in reply to SylvieS]

Honestly, I thought he was the only one with this problem until I found this great group. Than you so much

[Jaset]

Hi Vivian, sorry to hear how you feel, but you are not alone, my kid was diagnosed with ADHD 5 yrs ago, now he is 12 and takes Concerta for school and sometimes over the weekend to make homeworks and even with medication he struggles with attention, specially with classes and things he doesn't care, he feels overwhelmed with long homeworks and classes he doesn't like. Socially he has my kids friends as his friends, but he doesn't really have "a friend", so I bring him often to the park to play with other kids, but I have to be close to check on his impulsivity and sometimes address him to another activity at the park to avoid a conflict. Check out Dr Russell Barkley on YouTube (youtu.be/c_RIKaXq9ro)(Not working as expected?) (https:youtu.be/_tpB-B8Bxk0), he helped me understand why my son does things other kids don't do. Wish you the best with your son

[vivian2222 in reply to Jaset]

Thank you so much, knowing that I am not alone means the world to me. Thank you for the website

[writingforjoy]

Hi there, I am sorry your son had a reaction to the medication that was working well for him. There are many options out there so don't give up! One thing that can be helpful is behavioral therapy. This can give him some tools that may help without a drug interaction issue.

Also, my son did very well when we did an all natural no sugar or preservatives diet and the second we would get lax he would have an increase in symptoms. Now that you know it is ADHD research some natural options since medication is interacting with the other.

Find what your son loves. Having something to focus on gives them confidence. And ADHD kiddo's often can focus on their interests better than anything else. My son switched to many things one at a time. Now he is doing well in his profession as a cook.

My son knows he is different and it can be so frustrating when his mind goes faster than all of ours, but He is a gift just the way he is.

Best wishes!